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Tessa Herondale - Blog Posts
guess who is crying right now. @cassandraclare
will is not just a meme. he is also a mood.
my heart is already broken thanks to you cassie so...it was necessary? I'm-
"Me gustaría ser bueno en algo que podría añadir belleza al mundo en lugar de pintar con sangre, de verdad, pero ahí lo tienen. "
Matthew Fairchild
Will: I have a plan
Tessa: Does it involve us not getting into trouble?
Jem: He said he had a plan, not a miracle
Tessa: *banging on the door* Kit, open up
Kit: When I was three I was forced to eat dog food and-
Tessa: Open the damn door
Will: I have returned from the supermarket. In the fruit and vegetables section I found these flowers I thought you might like
Tessa: *awkwardly takes the plants*
Tessa: Thank you, Will… Except they don’t sell flowers in the fruits and vegetables section.
Tessa, smelling at the leaves: Yes, I knew it. This is cilantro.
Will: Tess! Let me buy this big teddy bear for you!
Tessa: I don’t need it, Will, I already have one
Will: Aww, what’d you name it?
Tessa, blushing: … William
Will: AW, YOU NAMED A STUFFED ANIMAL AFTER ME?
Tessa: *face palm*
Tessa: You have really pretty eyes
Will, suspiciously: Thank you…?
Tessa: *leans in slowly*
Will: NO! You can’t have them!
Tessa:
Will: Jem asked me what soup I was drinking and I didn't know what to say because I just poured orange juice into a bowl and drank it with a spoon
Tessa:
Group: *arguing*
Will: Calm down, you idiots wanna hear my plan or not?
[silence]
Will: That’s what I thought. So, make suggestions.
Tessa: But we thought you had a plan?
Will: MY plan is to crowdsource a plan, now it’s your turn
Tessa, at the beginning of CA: The two of you have gone through a lot together. You really trust each other, don’t you?
Jem: Will likes to say he trusts me as far as he can throw me.
Will: It’s true!
Will: *grabbing Jem*
Jem: Wait-
Will: *yeets Jem full force across the room*
Will: It’s a joke of course, I can’t throw him far enough.
Will, narrowing his eyes: Yet
Will [every time he’s broke]: I’d be an amazing prostitute
Any main TSC couple:
Magnus:
Will: I don’t play favorites
[at the dinner table]
Tessa: Jem, can you pass the salt-
Will: Seriously, Tess! What the hell? You really have the audacity to doubt my beloved Jem’s ability to pass the salt? Let me tell you, James Carstairs is a GOD and he can do everything he sets his beautiful mind to, okay? Never let me hear you say such things again!
Tessa:
Jem:
Charlotte:
Church:
Will, sighing: I’m really sorry you had to go through that, Jem. Just so you know I’m here for you and I love you
Tessa: Happy Birthday, Will! I got you a present!
*Jem walks through the door*
Will: OHMYGOD you got me JEM?
Tessa: No, no. It’s this book-
Will, through tears: HE’S PERFECT, TESSA, I LOVE HIM! Thank you!
Gideon at 2 am: Sophie, wake up so we can discuss our love for each other
Sophie: By the angel, I love you so much!
vs.
Tessa at 2 am: Will, if you want to discuss how to exterminate all ducks on earth for good I’m leaving you.
Sophie: I keep a portrait of Gid in my purse.
Gideon: Really? I have a portrait of you in my wallet!
Tessa: Aww, that’s cute. Will keeps a portrait of Jem.
Will: He’s just so damn beautiful.
Tessa: Hey, do you have a bag I can borrow?
Will: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes and they’re specifically designed to carry the burden of my entire existence.
Tessa: … literally all you had to do was say no.
Gabriel: If you had to go on a date with anyone of us, who’d you choose?
Jem: No way
Tessa, blushing: I’m not answering that…
Will: Jem
Everyone: …
Will: oH- nO waY, i’M NoT anSweRinG tHat!
Tessa: I wonder where we will be in twenty years
Will: Dead
Tessa: Let’s think positive!
Jem: We will all have a nice house-
Will: … 6 feet under ground
Kit: *crying* You’ve failed me. I thought I could trust you. Once again, I’ve been left homeless. After all I’ve done for you!
Mina:
Jem:
Tessa: I think we should stop playing monopoly…
Will: I found James. He was sleeping while training again.
James: I wasn’t sleeping, someone drugged me!
Will, turning around to Tessa: Cancel that, he was doing drugs.
Will: I’m amazing at picking locks. It’s my specialty
Will: *smashes window with a baseball bat and opens door from the inside*
Will: See? It’s easy
Tessa: You are an ADULT, Will. It’s your job to keep our children from making stupid decisions like this!
Will: That is true…
Will: … but I was also really curious to see how many donuts James and Lucie can eat in one minute.
Tessa: Can I please stay in your room?
Jem: Why?
Tessa: Will and I played with a Ouija board and we cursed mine
Tessa: and Will isn’t much help. He doesn’t know how to banish spirits, so he just throws salt at them and yells: “Does this look like a hotel to you?!”
Will: [tapping on the table]
Gabriel: [tapping back furiously]
Cecily: What’s going on?
Tessa: They learned morse code so they could talk to each other secretly.
Will: .-.. .. --. .... - .-- --- .-. –
Gabriel: [slams fists on table] YOU TAKE THAT BACK
James: I can't believe you told on me, Lucie!
Will: And I'm currently glad she did, young man!
Will to Tessa: That sounds scary. I am nailing this!
Tessa: I make it policy never to date a peasant!
Cecily: Same
Tessa: Aren't you engaged to Gabriel?
Cecily: Aren't you married to my brother?
Tessa: ...
Cecily: ...
Will: my children are fine-
Tessa: your children have raised the dead, burned down an ancient family manor, conspiricized against the Clave, been manipupated by a phsychopath's daughter, and been in almost as much danger as we have. Is that what you call fine?