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Heronstairs - Blog Posts
will and jem invented soulmateism
rip will herondale you would’ve loved polyamory and gay marriage
Let’s be honest we all wanted to be Tessa when this happened
Found on Pinterest
"there was sadness in his eyes, a sadness so profound it was almost frightening"
me:
my heart is already broken thanks to you cassie so...it was necessary? I'm-
Jem: What’s for dinner?
Will: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise
Jem: Is it soup?
Will: I soup-pose it could be
Jem: Enough with the soup puns!
Will: You never soup-port my jokes
*five minutes later*
Jem: It's FISH
Jem: My kink is when people care about my feelings and what I have to say
Will: Too unrealistic. Settle for bondage like the rest of us
Jem: I personally don’t think it’s possible to come up with a crazier plan
Will: We attack Mortmain with hummus
Jem: I stand corrected
Will: Jem asked me what soup I was drinking and I didn't know what to say because I just poured orange juice into a bowl and drank it with a spoon
Tessa:
Will: I was BORN a winner! I didn’t even need nine months to be born, I came out in seven!
Jem: That’s… that’s not good…
Will: I didn’t do it
Jem: Then why are you laughing?
Will: Because whoever did it is a freaking genius
Tessa, at the beginning of CA: The two of you have gone through a lot together. You really trust each other, don’t you?
Jem: Will likes to say he trusts me as far as he can throw me.
Will: It’s true!
Will: *grabbing Jem*
Jem: Wait-
Will: *yeets Jem full force across the room*
Will: It’s a joke of course, I can’t throw him far enough.
Will, narrowing his eyes: Yet
Will: How do you always know when I’m sad?
Jem: Well, you look sad and you haven’t said anything mean to Gabriel for like 3 hours.
Jem: Oh, and you’re wearing a button that says “I’m sad, ask me why.”
Charlotte: Will, the assignment was to bring something important to you
Will: Yes, and I did!
Charlotte: I meant an object, not Jem
Jem: You’re right
Will: That’s… that’s an unusual phrase for you, my beloved parabatai. Did you just learn it?
Jem: You didn’t let me finish
Will: I had a hunch
Jem: Your stupidity simply goes too far
Will: THEN BUCKLE UP CAUSE I’M ABOUT TO GO FURTHER
Will: I don’t think we thought this through very well…
Jem: I could’ve told you that ten fuck-ups ago.
Will: I don’t play favorites
[at the dinner table]
Tessa: Jem, can you pass the salt-
Will: Seriously, Tess! What the hell? You really have the audacity to doubt my beloved Jem’s ability to pass the salt? Let me tell you, James Carstairs is a GOD and he can do everything he sets his beautiful mind to, okay? Never let me hear you say such things again!
Tessa:
Jem:
Charlotte:
Church:
Will, sighing: I’m really sorry you had to go through that, Jem. Just so you know I’m here for you and I love you
Will: I’d like to phone a friend
Game show host: I haven’t asked you the questions yet-
Will: I know, I just miss Jem already
Jem: Netflix lied to me
Jem: I’ve never seen bad boy types protecting stray kittens revealing to me their soft side
Jem: It’s always me picking up the kittens.
Jem:
Jem:
Jem: Maybe I’m the bad boy
Jem: Well, I did warn you
Will: Yes
Jem: But did you listen?
Will: No
Jem: Do you ever listen?
Will: No
Jem: Are you listening now?
Will: … no
Jem: Are you staring at my arse right now?
Will: N- yes
Jem: …
Will: In my defense it’s a nice arse.
Gabriel: If you had to go on a date with anyone of us, who’d you choose?
Jem: No way
Tessa, blushing: I’m not answering that…
Will: Jem
Everyone: …
Will: oH- nO waY, i’M NoT anSweRinG tHat!
Tessa: I wonder where we will be in twenty years
Will: Dead
Tessa: Let’s think positive!
Jem: We will all have a nice house-
Will: … 6 feet under ground
Will, rolling down the car window: What seems to be the problem, officer?
Cop: Get the FUCK out of my car!
Jem: I just wish you would admit that you made a mistake
Will, stirring salt into his tea: No, I like it like this!
Kit: Come on guys, let’s just hug it out!
Jem, Tessa, Mina and Kit: [struggle into group hug]
Jem: Ok, who took my wallet?
Kit: Sorry
Will: [pours salt in Jem’s tea]
Jem: [sips tea]
Will:
Jem: [finishes tea]
Will: … didn’t the tea taste weird?
Jem: Well, yes. But I didn’t want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.
Will, tearing up: Okay
Jem: Ok, Will, I know you mean well and everything, but please stop being a little bitch. We need to work together!
Will: Will do. But only if you take off your shirt for me.
Jem:
Jem: Weird flex but okay
Will: I’m amazing at picking locks. It’s my specialty
Will: *smashes window with a baseball bat and opens door from the inside*
Will: See? It’s easy
Will: [Pulls out a knife]
Jem: Oh no.
Will: [Opens a box with it]
Jem: Oh, okay.
Will: [Pulls another knife out of the box]
Jem: Oh no!