106 posts
self-improvement looks very simple on paper. eat better, workout, have a skin care and hair care routine. lower your screentime, study, be organized, have hobbies. but trust me i know how difficult it is to actually DO the things you talk about doing. how hard it is to even know where to start, and how to stay consistent. roadblocks also happen, things out of your control. but ultimately you can make change in your life, just little by little.
during this stage you need to think of what you want to accomplish and creating an action plan full of steps that can get you there. i've provided my own example too :)
prioritize your physical and mental health. when those things are improving then pretty much everything else in your life will start to follow. just look at yourself now and think 'what can i do better? how can i be happier & healthier?'
write down your goals.
create an action plan for each goal. what steps can you take to achieve this goal? make a step by step plan.
come up with things you can do everyday to reach that goal. what adjustments can you make in your everyday routine that'll help you get there? for example, i want to make an etsy shop so i sew for 20+ minutes a day on weekends, and sew 30 minutes on weekdays.
the most important part is slowly easing into your new habits. look at your goals and think 'what steps am i taking to reach it?'
meeting your basic needs. before you even think about self improvement make sure you're taking care of your health and hygeine. this means eating enough, being hydrated, taking care of your hygeine. always make sure that your core needsre met consistently before you even begin.
start small. once you've gotten consistent with meeting your basic needs then start making small changes. (ex. exercising for 10 minutes, reading for 10 minutes, start small with the habits you planned) dont overwhelm yourself!
have a fluid plan. be open to change- if something really isn't working then adjust it! and, when you continue to do something for a while, start doing it longer- i used to walk around 1.5 miles daily for almost a month and then started doing 2.5. keep increasing until you're at a healthy point.
having a good mindset. as always make sure your mindset is good. remember that progress isn't linear- you're going to screw up sometimes and get off track. just make sure you learn from every experience.
no matter what there ARE going to be problems or things that don't go your way, things that aren't in your control. since my 15th birthday i've been applying to jobs left and right, over 30 or so, and it's been 5 months of rejection due to my age (15 year olds can only work 3 hours in a row and most places need more). since i can't control that i just keep applying and in the mean time i focus on the other aspects of my life! it can be really frustrating but you just have to keep pushing.
so manifesting my desired appearance in full took roughly 2 weeks, also this post is pretty long bcuz im not gatekeeping anything, im giving u guys the full story, the full scoop on how i did it so here we go...
some things that i remember doing was, before going to bed i'd either read what my desired appearance looks like (i wrote a list bcuz me as a person, i LOVE writing things down) and i'd read that list before bed like it was fact.
or if i didn't have the list with me, when i was the state akin to sleep i'd talk to myself (ik it sounds weird but its natural for me so it worked) and i'd be like "ik for a fact that i am (fill in the blank)" or "ik for a fact that i have (fill in the blank)"
and i'd just say it to myself, or sometimes when i'd shower, for every part of my body that i'd wash (i separated it into sections) and for each section i'd talk about an aspect of my appearance as though it was from someone else's POV. for example, part of my desired appearance was a difference in hair texture so i'd say "omg honey's hair is SO long and glossy". like i'd talk thru someone else's pov ABOUT my appearance in either a tone of admiration, envy, or indifference.
even if i didn't see movement a couple times or got discouraged, i went back to what feels RIGHT and thats affirming for me.
some key statements i used :
i know for a fact
i have my exact desired appearance bcuz im god and i said so
another thing that rly helped me was visualization, i was living PURELY in my imagination, completely in my head. i was REAL delulu. i have a vision board on pinterest that was SO helpful for me.
when i saw things in the 3d that didn't please me i completely disregarded it, and when i tell u COMPLETELY, i completely dismissed anything that i didn't like, or that didn't sit right with me.
another little exercise that i liked to do was actually bcuz of a bad habit. so i have a RLY bad habit of checking the 3d but i used it to my advantage. my habit was that every morning the first thing i'd do is go and look in the mirror. when i manifested my desired appearance what i'd do, is i would go to the bathroom mirror and tell my subconscious what i see. so my logic behind this was that since the subconscious didn't have any eyes i could tell my subconscious that i had the head of a unicorn and it'd believe me 💀. so i would talk to my subconscious and tell it what i saw. "i see an angel skull" "i see rly rly long lashes" "i see waist-length hair" etc etc.
i went to the end and i BASKED in it. moral of this manifestation story :
persist regardless of what u experience with ur 5 senses
time is an illusion so forget about it
dont settle for less than what u seek
go straight to the end and bathe in it bcuz u can't try and be something that u already are
failure doesn't exist
apply
ACKNOWLEDGE THE PAIN AND DAMAGE. Others will try frequently to avoid these feelings and the thought that they’re hurt or hurting. However, it is a massive roadblock to starting your journey.
You have to truly confront yourself. Journal, vent to someone, draw or however you feel is best to truly express how you feel, you do.
EXTRACT TRIGGERS. Don’t let your physical environment encourage triggers that resurface your hurt self or continue to hurt you. E.g. friends, social media, family, bad habits etc.
DAILY REFLECTION. You have to start to confront your feelings and experiences, but I know, it’s scary and we don’t want to revisit bad times. Please try to do some self-reflection daily about personal feelings and experiences, as it gets easier when it’s so frequent.
ESTABLISH ORDER & ROUTINES. Start putting in good habits in your life and slowly improve your mental and physical well-being. Healing is going to be all over the place and messy. So when we have a routine to fall back on when needed, it just makes us feel better.
ACTUAL SELF-CARE. Everything showers and face masks are nice and all, but they are not the only aspects of self-care. Self-care is doing the things that are good for you, disregarding how you currently feel. E.g. cooking and eating a healthy breakfast instead of eating takeout.
BE PATIENT AND PERSISTENT. Healing is going to be hard regardless of what hurt you. There will be days when you feel like giving up. However, I encourage you to fight those feelings of hopelessness and continue.
REMOVE SHAME FROM YOUR MIND. Another roadblock, it limits you from all the help and lessons you get in life. It isolates you, from everybody else who does care about you and wants to help. Asking for anything is not embarrassing.
RECONNECT WITH YOURSELF. Start doing hobbies that you love, learning about things you’ve been curious about, and reading books on your favourite topics. Reconnection is so important because it brings emotional and mental prosperity.
using alter-egos is something that helped me a lot in almost all aspects of my life and rly pushed me to become the best version of myself.
alter ego by definition is someones secondary or alternative personality. successful ppl like kobe bryant, beyonce and more use alter egos in their field of work.
alter egos r a direct way to put urself into the state of ur dream self or the best version of urself and can help u to grow and get out of ur comfort zone.
HOW TO USE AN ALTER EGO :
write down a list of traits that defined the OLD you (or the you in the ordinary world) and then write down a list of trait that the best version of you or the traits that u wish u had
bring LIFE to ur alter ego. think about who are what inspires you, it can be real or fictional, living or inanimate DONT limit urself to anything
trust the process and put thought into it ~
3. once you've thought of all this for ur alter ego, all u have to do is breathe life into ur alter ego or egos. give it a name, ik megan thee stallion has an alter ego called tina snow.
dont just choose a random name, although u can name ur alter ego anything its important to choose a name that u feel some sort of emotional connection to. and a name that invokes or implies who you are or who you wanna be.
4. to activate ur alter ego use a totem or an artifact. (EX: when u wear a certain accessory or piece of clothing ur activating a certain alter ego) its called enclothed cognition which states the effect that clothes have on human cognition
90% of communication is body language, the mind is connected to the body. body language is so important to how u perceive urself and how others perceive you <3
DISCLAIMER : everything in this post is things i've noticed, and other girls have too, its little tips and tricks on how to be more feminine with ur body language if u wanna apply then do you but if this doesn't resonate with u then u dont have to take it~
UR WALK :
ur walk is what ppl see when u walk into a room, and when u walk with confidence you literally FEEL confident. the most feminine thing to do when walking is walking with ur hips.
the best way for it to become natural is with practice and repetition ofc. practice walking in front of ur mirror, the point of this is to have open hips. if ur hips r open, then walking with ur hips will be easy peasy.
the more flexible u are, the more naturally and organically walking with ur hips will be, i recommend yoga and hip mobility exercises.
POSTURE :
envision that u have a string attached to the head of ur spine and its pulling u up, kind of like a puppet lol. walk with ur back straight and ur chin parallel to the floor. also, keep ur shoulders back and ur chest out.
some ways to help practice posture is by using back trainers, pilates, and ofc yoga
WHAT NOT TO DO :
dont ever walk into a room with ur head down
HAND GESTURES :
a feminine thing to do is talking with ur hands, using hand or bodily gestures to express urself while communicating, is literally scientifically proven to add emphasis and structure when u talk.
the main thing i've learned about when researching feminine hand gestures is tilting ur head when ur listening or thinking, touching ur arms or neck etc.
movements should always be SLOW, dont be rushed, slow down ur speaking, walking, bodily gestures, etc. take ur time and collect ur thoughts, dont be in a rush and dont let ur thoughts be all over the place. its all about control.
OBVIOUSLY dont over-do it but u get my point right?
EYE CONTACT :
practice eye contact, ik its a bit weird if ur not used to it but genuinely give it a try if u want <3
MAKE A VISION BOARD WALLPAPER. Create one that aligns with your goals and dream self, so that every time you pick your phone up, you’re reminded of your goals and future vision. Also, great for manifesting!
KNOW YOUR APP’S PURPOSE. For me, tumblr is a way I share advice and learn, YouTube I also learn from others, pinterest I get inspired, netflix is a way for me to unwind etc. If for any app, you cannot name a proper purpose/intent to use it daily or to help with your goals, delete it.
DECIDE WHICH TYPES OF APPS YOU WANT. If you have a new phone, or you want to completely reset your phone, write or type, the apps, that you want and those you don’t.
E.g I want to learn a language, practice mindfulness on the go, get some mental gratification that isn’t addicting, organise my life better and have a way to track my progress. I don’t want apps that support doom-scrolling, make me compare myself and are addictive.
BE MINDFUL OF WHAT YOU SIGN UP TO. Newsletters, social media, subscribing to YouTubers and so on, just think about your goals and vision and if they align with them, every time you think about signing up/subscribing.
HAVE NO PHONE TIME/ZONES. For me, my phone is not allowed to be used in bed. If I must use my phone, I have to get out of bed first. My phone is also not allowed during study time, so I put it in a separate room which makes it inconvenient.
REGULARLY DO A DIGITAL DECLUTTER. Delete any old contacts that you don’t talk to, unsubscribe from newsletters and YouTube channels, organise your socials etc. Removes space and helps us to see our phones with more clarity.
SET PURPOSEFUL WIDGETS. These can be anything, motivational quotes, your daily to-do list, reminders of your habits and so on. However, make sure you’re looking at them and they're not just taking up space.
take care of yourself
𓂃 ゚。🎀 ⋆ ⟡ 𓂃 ゚。🎀 ⋆ ⟡ 𓂃 ゚。🎀 ⋆ ⟡ 𓂃
self-improvement looks very simple on paper. eat better, workout, have a skin care and hair care routine. lower your screentime, study, be organized, have hobbies. but trust me i know how difficult it is to actually DO the things you talk about doing. how hard it is to even know where to start, and how to stay consistent. roadblocks also happen, things out of your control. but ultimately you can make change in your life, just little by little.
during this stage you need to think of what you want to accomplish and creating an action plan full of steps that can get you there. i've provided my own example too :)
prioritize your physical and mental health. when those things are improving then pretty much everything else in your life will start to follow. just look at yourself now and think 'what can i do better? how can i be happier & healthier?'
write down your goals.
create an action plan for each goal. what steps can you take to achieve this goal? make a step by step plan.
come up with things you can do everyday to reach that goal. what adjustments can you make in your everyday routine that'll help you get there? for example, i want to make an etsy shop so i sew for 20+ minutes a day on weekends, and sew 30 minutes on weekdays.
the most important part is slowly easing into your new habits. look at your goals and think 'what steps am i taking to reach it?'
meeting your basic needs. before you even think about self improvement make sure you're taking care of your health and hygeine. this means eating enough, being hydrated, taking care of your hygeine. always make sure that your core needsre met consistently before you even begin.
start small. once you've gotten consistent with meeting your basic needs then start making small changes. (ex. exercising for 10 minutes, reading for 10 minutes, start small with the habits you planned) dont overwhelm yourself!
have a fluid plan. be open to change- if something really isn't working then adjust it! and, when you continue to do something for a while, start doing it longer- i used to walk around 1.5 miles daily for almost a month and then started doing 2.5. keep increasing until you're at a healthy point.
having a good mindset. as always make sure your mindset is good. remember that progress isn't linear- you're going to screw up sometimes and get off track. just make sure you learn from every experience.
no matter what there ARE going to be problems or things that don't go your way, things that aren't in your control. since my 15th birthday i've been applying to jobs left and right, over 30 or so, and it's been 5 months of rejection due to my age (15 year olds can only work 3 hours in a row and most places need more). since i can't control that i just keep applying and in the mean time i focus on the other aspects of my life! it can be really frustrating but you just have to keep pushing.
U
so if yk about the law of assumption or if ur active in the loa community at all, you know that its not enough to consume loa content but you must APPLY. in this post i'll tell u what that means.
"all that is required of you to manifest ur desire is for you to have a fixed attention on the fulfillment of it"
u need to be aware of where ur attention is and to be conscious of who you are BEING at any given moment. not for 5 minutes, or 5 hours but DOMINANTLY. discipline urself to pay attention and keep ur thoughts and state in check.
with the use of affirmations and imagination you'll build a stable feeling that u can tap into whenever u want. go back to ur imagination and familiarize yourself with the state of having what u desire, if u can't maintain that state for more than a couple seconds your not familiar enough with it.
sustain the feeling.
Choosing yourselfೃ࿔*:・
• Set boundaries and stick with them, girl. Allowing someone to cross your boundaries and hurt you, THEN FORGIVING THEM?? No. That is like the ultimate act of anti-self love.
It can be good to give second chances and be forgiving, but you have to cut out toxic people if you want the best for yourself.
• Say ‘no’ without feeling bad. YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON. Do what YOU want to do.
• Be caring and loving towards yourself. Never neglect or hurt yourself. You are the most important person in your life, seriously.
Be kind to others while still putting yourself first.
• Push yourself a bit! Try new things, set goals, and work to improve yourself.
Sometimes self love can mean getting out of your comfort zone and growing a bit. Find new ways to be your best self.
• Relax. Pushing yourself is great, but stretching yourself out too thin is no good. Sometimes you need to rest, relax, and pamper yourself, after all you deserve it.
I love to treat myself.
Go for a peaceful walk. Take a long bath/shower. Lay in bed. Make a warming beverage. Watch your fav show/movie/Youtuber/etc. Make yourself a cute snack or a nice filling meal. Do whatever makes you feel good. <333
Things I do to take care of myself
Inspired by @theambitiouswoman
Hello girlies! On this blog I'm going to write down all the habits I do to take care of my self. These ones I have been practicing them since a long time and I know they maintain me healthy, happy, balanced and stress free. I hope I can inspire you to discover the habits that make you feel your best and start doing some of the things I do!
My habits
Have a morning and night routine to follow
Sleep 8 hours on a consistent schedule
Eat at least one fruit a day, along three healthy meals and drink enough water
Pray when I wake up
Do yoga in the morning and meditate at night
Do my skincare 2 times daily (morning and night)
Have an "everything shower" 2x times per week
Listen to positive affirmations in the morning
Dress up pretty every time I'm going out
Listen a podcast daily
Read one chapter of a book daily
Dedicate one hour for introspective journaling and healing yoga + meditation 2xtimes per week
Use less than 4 hours my phone (15 minutes max on every social media app)
Unfollow any account that doesn't make me feel good with myself or consume content that doesn't inspire me
Study a language 30 minutes - 1 hour 3x times per week
Spend time with my loved ones during the week
Write down a journal entry before sleep
Be productive and focus on my tasks to be free the more time possible
Make a daily to-do list
Maintain my personal space clean
Take my daily supplements after breakfast
Look from time to time my vision boards
Dedicate time to prepare my meals and make lunch for university (instead of spending)
Keep track of my financial movementes
Focus on living in the present and be carefree about life
Smile, be kind and maintain the calm with people
On my free time do things I love ( like blogging, gaming, watch YT, etc)
Be mindful of all the sensorial stimulation (use less screens and earphones)
Respect when my body needs to rest
Have a optimistic mindset that works in my favor
Play with and take care of my pets (my happy pills)
Have a "Sunday reset" routine dedicated to deep cleaning, laundry, weekly review and planning, self-care, etc
See you on the next blog! 𑄽𑄺ྀ
Motivation Affirmations ✨✨
I am capable of achieving my dreams.
Every step I take brings me closer to my goals.
I am deserving of success and abundance.
Challenges are opportunities for growth.
I am focused, persistent, and driven.
My potential is limitless.
I believe in myself and my abilities.
Every day, I become a better version of myself.
I am resilient and can overcome any obstacle.
Success is a journey, not a destination.
I am in charge of my destiny.
My goals are achievable and realistic.
I am surrounded by positive energy and support.
I am constantly inspired and motivated.
My actions align with my purpose.
I am deserving of all the good that comes my way.
I am a magnet for success and prosperity.
I am committed to my vision and purpose.
I trust the process and the timing of my life.
Every setback is a setup for a comeback.
I am fearless in the pursuit of my dreams.
I am worthy of all the success I seek.
My determination is stronger than any challenge.
I am constantly evolving and improving.
I am focused on solutions, not problems.
I celebrate every small victory along the way.
I am in control of my thoughts, actions, and emotions.
I am surrounded by opportunities for growth and success.
I am driven by passion and purpose.
I am unstoppable in the pursuit of my goals.
Hi sweetie, how are you? Do you have some podcast’s recommendations? I don’t mind the topic, it could be about finance, mental health, self development, powerful women! Thank you <3
Hi love! Sharing some recommendations below. Hope this helps xxx
Stuff You Should Know
The Psychology of Your 20s
Bad with Money
Ted Talks Daily
The Daily
How I Built This
Stuff Mom Never Told You
The Michelle Obama Podcast
Lady Don't Take No
Our Body Politic
Sounds Like A Cult
Betwixt the Sheets
You're Wrong About
Ladies, We Need To Talk
Womanica
Hope this helps xx
hey can u give tips on improving ur attention span?
DAILY MEDITATION. Meditation is known for increasing focus and concentration. Try to increase the minutes you meditate each day, limiting the number of times your mind wanders/
DRINK BLACK TEA. Black tea contains L-theanine which affects the part of your mind which helps with focusing.
LIMIT DISTRACTIONS, especially those around you. Phones, TV, background noise, or bustling scenery are not the best features for a productive session. A calm, quiet, minimalist area is ideal.
TAKING SHORT BREAKS BETWEEN. Your brain needs time to recharge and refocus on the task at hand. Some ideas are taking a short walk, meditating, reading.
START DOCUMENTING THE TIMES WHEN YOUR MIND WANDERS. This helps you to be more aware of anything that may need to change. E.g my mind wanders more in the afternoon than at night, so I’ll do most of my work in the afternoon.
REGULAR EXERCISE. When there’s more blood in the brain, our concentration increases, so be sure to find ways to get your body moving and blood pumping.
CREATE A MINIMALIST WORKSPACE. Remove distracting decor, add reminders of anything productive and make it comfortable enough that you focus for long periods.
MAKE YOUR GOALS/HABITS AN IDENTITY. Your lifestyle makes up who you are, quite literally. If you want to wake up early, then start identifying yourself as an early bird. If you want to get good grades, then start identifying yourself as a studious student. And so on.
This helps with feeling more accountable and committed to our goals and habits. However, don’t use this as a reason to overexert yourself.
THERE IS SOMETHING UNDERNEATH CERTAIN BEHAVIOURS. All of your bad habits stem from your subconscious. This is why mentally healthy people tend to think more about their physical health.
The best way to recognise patterns beneath your bad habits is just to talk to yourself. In any way or any form. Identify it, see what might’ve caused this subconscious thought and then work towards a way to replace the feeling that these bad habits give with a good one.
DETACH FROM THE OUTCOME. The more you fixate on the long-term results, the more longer, strenuous and exhausting your journey is going to be, especially because you’re going to want to give up as soon as results don’t appear. Focus on the short-term results.
You exercised? Now you feel good inside. You studied hard and understood everything? Great job for being so productive. You did that one really scary thing? What a great start!
THE PART OF YOU THAT DOES BAD HABITS IS NOT BAD. It is the complete opposite of bad. It loves you and wants to keep you safe, so it refrains you from doing anything ‘scary’ (which is typically new things in our lives) and makes you fall back on ‘safe’ habits which are a coping mechanism.
So, instead of berating that part of you that participates in bad habits even if you know it’s bad, understand it. As these coping mechanisms usually stem from our childhoods, we turn to these habits when we feel stressed, anxious or depressed.
Hi, do u have any tips for building a thicker skin and not getting hurt easily? I've only just realized recently that I'm very sensitive, if someone talks a little rudely to me or says something rude to me, I get hurt and anxious. It's so weird because I usually do not care about what other people do or think about me. But I can't handle being treated rudely or criticism. I just have the urge to stop talking, runaway or leave if a person is even a tiny bit rude to me. help.
Hi love! I would say it's all about cultivating emotional resilience. Like any muscle, you need to train your mind to remain calmer under pressure or stressful situations. Here are some ways I think are helpful to build this skillset:
Step into difficult conversations as two people vs. a project/problem/situation. Depersonalize any criticism by objectifying the criticism of a certain behavior, action, etc. Think of it as its own entity – like an object that can float away in the wind.
Internalize that a lot of criticism/rudeness is a form of projection and says more about the other person's inner turmoil than your demeanor or character. Offering non-constructive criticism is self-destructive. Case closed.
Look inward and make it a priority to truly get to know yourself. What are your core values? Desires? Goals? How do you want to present yourself to the world? What are your likes? Dislikes? Fears? Self-knowledge gives you a blueprint of how to move forward.
Reverse your "what ifs." Instead of wondering what could go wrong by leaning into criticism and difficult situations, consider "what's the worst that can happen?" Once you ask yourself and answer this question honestly, you realize that most of the time your fear is disproportional to the likely outcome.
Consider learning to sit/be present in the discomfort to be an act of self-care. You're becoming emotionally stronger and proving to yourself that you can hold your own in any situation. Stick up for yourself but know when to silently bow out for your own sake vs run away due to perceived personal incompetence.
Hope this helps xx