Hi, Do U Have Any Tips For Building A Thicker Skin And Not Getting Hurt Easily? I've Only Just Realized

For my girlies that want to be really succesful and happy but have not figured out yet ie. Are yet to connect with their life's purpose and/or choose a career, here's the tip of the century: devote your time to learning a diverse group of practical, timeless and mostly widely applicable skills. Examples?

Language. Learning a parent language eg German or Spanish or Mandarin will never not come in handy. When you do figure out your career this skill will find a way to be applicable. Let's not forget the networking opportunities plus if there is a foreign aspect to it eg an office abroad guess who will make the list.

Dance or music. Mostly classical. This might not apply to your career if it's not in the arts but it connects you to your feminine creative side, is great for your mental health, brings a touch of sophistication to you, the health benefits and oh so impressive. Plus it's music sis. Music solves everything.

Crafts(wo)manship. We are talking knitting, pottery, crotchetting, couture, etc. One, hobby. Two, Etsy. Three, sophistication. Four, femininity. Five, you'll give the best gifts over Christmas, trust me.

Swimming, driving, flight, etc. I am 100% convinced swimming and driving are basic life skills. Will there ever be a day in your life when you'll regret that you can drive? Or swim? Unless you're angling for driver it might not contribute to your career but it will to your life.if you can get a flight license do that. If you can get a motorcycle license do just that. Even if it's a hot air balloon, do just that. You can not convince me swimming is not a life skill I am literally surprised by people that can't swim. Never been in a flood huh.

Social skills. The thing about social skills is that they are, drumroll, SKILLS. Skills are not inborn, they are learned and we live in the era of Robert Greene and Genie Sayles and Dale Carnegie and free online courses and if there is one set of skills that's the backbone of everything its this one. There is no time having social skills will not help. Not professionally. Not socially. Not even in your family. Or friends. Whatever your life purpose is, you will need social skills. Communication is the key to EVERYTHING.

"Health" related skills. I'm talking gut health, get a first aid certification, learn herbs and holistic methods and reiki and yoga and all that. Your wellbeing shouldn't even be a choice honestly. Is there one time being at prime health will Not come in handy? No. Till you figure stuff out learn the right foods, learn to heal your gut, learn quick first aid tips, learn how your body works, learn female reproductive health, learn evolutionary psychology- stack up on the health.if your community has traditional healing methods learn that. Especially those of us that want to be moms? You'll need this so bad.

Fashion, styling, beauty. Because we are women and let's be honest , it's much easier and better when you finally learn to style yourself and express yourself through your clothing & make up &c &c and do what's good for your skin and hair and- you get it. Is there a day you will not need to dress? No? There you go

Financial education. Now if I need to explain this to you please meet me out back I just wanna talk

You don't have to have the full picture to start investing in it

Website

what happened to originality??⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍬💕

social media is so helpful and is overall a positive thing in my opinion, but if we're not self aware i think that it can get to a point where u find urself parakeeting memes and stuff u see on social media and it starts to BECOME you.

and i think its so disheartening to see people band wagon on the next biggest trend and look to social media to find out who they are and what their personality is and how they should be. when it gets to that point ur like a copy and paste of everyone else and originality gets lost in the process.

it’s okay to like trends and participate in them, but let them be things that reflect who you already are, not who you think you should be. thats all ✍🏽🎀

DAILY HABITS FOR A HEALTHY MIND ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

Keeping you mind healthy is just as important as keeping your body healthy. Doing daily habits that improve your mental well-being can improve your mood, reduce anxiety and stress, and increase focus and learning.

JOURNALING

As you may know by now, journaling has so many positive effects on your mental health. Journaling could help you express your emotions, relive stress, and find different ways to cope.

RESTING YOUR MIND AND BODY

Giving your mind and body a break after using it all day long is a huge way to improve your mental health significantly. Taking a break from your electronics, moving around, or academic activities could be of good use to your mental health.

GET ENOUGH SLEEP

Try to get 7-9 hours of good quality sleep each night.

PRACTICE MINDFULNESS OR MEDITATION

Take a few minutes each day to focus on your breath and be present and in the moment. HERE is a guide to meditation.

EXERCISE REGULARLY

Engage in physical activity for at least 30-45 minutes a day to boost your mood and reduce stress

READ OR ENGAGE IN MENTALLY STIMULATING ACTIVITIES

Challenge your brain with books, puzzles, or other activities that promote cognitive function.

PRACTICE GRATITUDE

Take a moment each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for in your life.

MANAGE STRESS

Find healthy ways to cope with stress, such as journaling, practicing relaxation techniques, or seeking support from others.

GUIDE TO THE MINDSET GLOW UP 🎀

♡ | positive mindset

easier said than done, but it has such a huge impact in our life. we as humans tend to always think negatively of everything, resulting us to give up. but what if it will work out? what we think constantly reflects in our reality and actions. why do we have to always blame ourselves for everything, why do we have to be anxious over little things, why do we have to always think of the worst when we can just flip the words, meaning, love and believe in ourselves.

- ways to have a positive mindset

the bus theory - when u see the bus that you missed u don’t actually run after it, right? you just wait for another one, knowing that it 100% will be here. think of your opportunities/relationships etc that you’ve "lost" as this bus.

the universe/god never says no; it either says yes , not yet or I have something better for you.

practice self-care, be gentle to yourself. you are waking up and always trying and it’s enough.

the moments you thought that are the "worst" are only moments now, and you’re still here. Be proud of yourself for that

a little rain doesnt have to ruin the parade

practice meditation. clean mind = better mood

journal journal journal (I’m going to make a post of journal benefits soon)

this absolutely doesn’t mean that you always have to be positive about everyone and everything. If you feel sad or feel like crying let it all out. if you feel drained allow yourself to sit all day and watch shows. it’s all about accepting yourself and not "I’m such a failure I did nothing today" instead "it’s okay, I have tomorrow where I can try again".

♡ | discipline > motivation

motivation comes and go, but discipline is forever. you are scared and not trying? It’s okay, do it while being scared. count to 3 and start doing something, take action. just DONT sit around. have a plan and don’t try to do everything all at once, or you will be easily drained . everyday do something better for 1% and you’ll see how just in a short while this 1% will be 100%.

a very good episode of mimi’s :

♡ | kindness to yourself is kindness to everyone

treat yourself with love and respect before others. everyone in this world is a human and I do not wish for you or them to spread hate. we all have bad days and this is exactly why we should so self-care or reach out to someone, but never blame anyone for anything.

you don’t owe anyone anything, but kindness and respect.

what you give is what you receive.

respect is not earned, disrespect is.

♡ | no one knows you better than you do

no you are not horrible for the mistakes that you’ve made. do you know what makes you horrible? not acknowledging them. if you wronged someone, apologize. even if it’s too late and the relationship is lost, I’m so proud of you for realizing your mistake and trying to do better. learn AND improve. accept yourself for all the pluses and minuses. you’re a crybaby? good because I’m too, and it’s absolutely okay. In fact, I think vulnerability is very powerful. you are human and you don’t have to be perfect. thrive for being better not perfection. do not listen to rumors or someone thinking that you are a bad person. you in fact know that you are not and it’s all that matters. why do you care if you are enemy in their story , they aren’t heroes in yours either.

insecurity is loud, confidence is quiet.

♡ | boundaries

to stay away from toxic people you have to have boundaries. I think the most common type here is "people pleasing" so here’s my post to help you to stop being one.

when someone does something that makes you uncomfortable, please let them know about it. you don’t have to tolerate this behavior. your own peace is the most important thing ever.

if they still repeat their actions then well … it’s time to say goodbye.

if you think that you will "lose" everything by setting boundaries please go back to the top and read the "ways to have a positive mindset" :)

watch youtubers, listen to podcasts etc to connect with people like you and improve your mindset alongside with boundaries.

here’s my list of my favs, but you can find waaaay more on tumblr

♡ | confidence

be confident, trust yourself, and never let anybody put you down. If anybody puts you down, it’s because they’re jealous. – Adriana Lima

do not compare yourself with ANYONE. the person you are looking at and saying "I wish I was her" might be doing the same. compare yourself with YOUR dream girl that you have in your head. your only competition is you.

after boundaries, positive mindset, discipline, naturally comes the confidence. loving yourself and staying true to yourself is what confidence exactly is.

no fake it till you make it, no difficult words, just you . take it easy.

♡ | tip: body language and fitness

this is more on the physical side but I advice you to learn a little bit about body language. It helps you to appear confident and attractive. my "go to’s" are entering the room with high head and good posture, never sitting on your phone (as in checking the weather app awkwardly etc not when someone calls or texts u) when coming to an unknown place.

fitness helps to relieve stress and clear out your mind when you don’t want to meditate. and by fitness I don’t mean intense workouts, a 5 minute workout that you enjoy is enough. also walking 10.000 steps a day also counts as fitness to have a healthy and balanced life.

I , for example, have a playlist with different workouts and I do each on of them on different days, whenever I feel like choosing one. sometimes I don’t even work out I just walk 7-10K steps :)

— the end ♡

in conclusion I just want to say ITS OKAY ITS OKAY ITS OKAY. You are fine. You are enough. Make mistakes, be sad, improve, be disappointed, try, love, learn, thrive. The purpose of this post is for you to understand that DONT exist , LIVE. Because life is worth living for. You were, are, will be okay.

next time if you ever feel like falling back to old habits just remember this

personally, there's no better motivation than remembering that there's probably many people out there who don't want me to succeed.

20 NIGHT JOURNAL PROMPTS TO CLEAR YOUR MIND BEFORE BEDTIME

1. what's on my mind right now?

2. how am i feeling right now?

3. write down one word to describe my day (calm or hectic, productive or unproductive, etc.) and write a sentence about it (today was calm because i did my morning routine and that helped me stay in the present moment)

4. what am i grateful for today?

5. emotions i felt today include...

6. what did i do today to make myself proud?

7. what did i learn about myself today?

8. what is something I accomplished today, big or small, and how did it make me feel?

9. something that bothered me today was...

10. how did I handle any stress or anxiety that came up today?

11. have i done anything to make someone else happy today?

12. write one thing that made me feel loved today.

13. what do i want to take from today into tomorrow?

14. what's my word for tomorrow?

15. what would i like tomorrow to bring me?

16. if i could change one thing about my behavior today, what would it be?

17. what is a meaningful conversation I had today and why did it stand out?

18. what are my top three priorities for tomorrow?

19. what's one thing I can do to improve tomorrow based on today's experiences?

20. how do i want to feel when i wake up tomorrow morning?

GROW UP 102; CONFIDENCE BABY

Confidence is security in the reliability and competence of oneself. To be confident is to be secure in your ability to gain pleasure and avoid pain by being reliable and competent, so to speak. In this way at the heart of confidence is security.

What most people don't understand or get wrong about confidence is that it's not inown. Confidence doesn't 'come from the inside'. Unlike self worth you are not born with confidence, it's something you consciously cultivate daily. It's also not ego. In fact confidence that stems from the ego is fragile.

The opposite/ enemy/ indicator of the lack of confidence is anxiety. At the root of anxiety is the fear that you might not be able to avoid pain and gain pleasure, in fact it's the constant anticipation of pain. Given human survival hinges largely on avoiding pain you see how confidence in itself is crucial to life.

Now then, how do we build confidence?

1 . Know Yourself.

The problem with this little phrase is how easy it is to overlook. "I kNoW wHo I aM" okay and who is that. Go ahead love I'm listening. Who is you. See that little hesitation thing that happened after your " I like __ I hate__ " list?yes? Jump into pinterest, get you journal prompts and work that stuff our, yes? Get you a shadow work journal, get to the 360° of you. And yes this includes [and is ESPECIALLY about] the tough questions you wanna run from. It's SHADOW work. Face thy shadows, missus.

When you know who you are you build security in your choices, opinions and preferences. If you know who you are I cannot convince you to like someone or hate someone or buy something, I can not plant insecurity in you. If you know for a fact you are intelligent the statement [ you are dumb] can not trigger you into a 488579 word reblog because you know you're not.

2. Say no. [Build autonomy]

Confidence thrives in autonomy. There is a reason people pleasers are the poster kids for anxiety [hence lack of confidence], they lack autonomy. Listen if they get your nails wrong at the nail salon don't (haha it's okayyy) you're killing your confidence. Politely say no this isn't what I want. Get me what I want. What makes mean girls the poster kids for confidence is we don't settle for less than, we don't give in and we don't feel the need to explain unless we have to. No I'm not into you.why? Enjoy the blue ticks. No that's not the meal I ordered. Yes I understand you're having a rough day, I don't mean to add to your stress but if I don't then I'll be stressed for paying for something I didn't even want, you know? Get me what I ordered, yes? Thank you. Mean Girls are not scared to start a scene. To put up a fight. To walk out. Mean Girls have autonomy. The day you say "no" without your heart racing and anticipating social annihilation congrats. Welcome to the club.

3. Company

Now this is one of those things we think we know but we don't. When we say "show me your friends ill show you your character " we are not pulling an Aristotle on you. 95% of your thoughts are determined by the company you keep [or what you let influence you] . Humans are social creatures which means we pool our thoughts into our social group for the purpose of progress. Friend groups are literally based on a thought process. If you are friends with people who's entire personality is " I have anxayati I'm suisaidol I have mentol helth issues " 24/7 good luck on confidence if you hang out with the "ewwww that's so cringe" crowd how's that personality/ character annihilation working out for you if you are friends with people that constantly put other people down how are the anxiety meds coming if you're still in contact with your narcissistic ex or dad or mom how's that working for you if all you watch is Candace Owens and Andrew Tate and social politics clearly aimed to trigger how is your real-life relationship sabotage going if your friends are the moral police and virtue signallers mon amour hows the lack of self trust X extreme levels of self hate x unrealistic moral standards x loneliness? If you don't have uplifting friends read books on queens and power women and people that inspire you and watch videos that inspire you. Your friends literally make or break you.

95% of your thought process, sis. 95% . In a universe where thoughts literally create reality?? Think Elon Musk and Beyonce. Careful who you let in and please do not let your people pleading trap you in a pity bond.youre not a healer.

4. THERAPYY

I will NEVER not bring this bad bitch to your table every table I sit on I bring this absolute babe called therapee. There is no overlooking this. "I dont like talking about-" and where has that gotten you? Tough shit love. Download betterhelp okay? Okay. Not knowing the source of our actions, pain and shame forces us to lay the blame squarely on ourselves, it has to be someone's fault so it's mine. In this way since you believe in the past you could not avoid pain you lose confidence [because confidence is.....] until you learn to place the blame where it belongs [and it's never you. You know I'm not the touchy Feely type of blogger so I'm not sugaring you up rn. It's your responsibility yes, but never your fault.take it from a psych minor] the part of you that blames you will always get in the way and no your mom telling you it wasn't your fault is a great quick fix but when you are in the shower alone you know it'll creep up on you. Get you a trauma doc aka therapist. And we are ALL traumatized which means we have ALL been in a position where we couldn't avoid pain don't act like this doesn't apply to you.

5. Build a skill set

Kobe Bryant saying his confidence comes from knowing he did his best is all you need to hear. Most of confidence is built on competence, this is the part people hate. That Roman Reigns confidence comes from knowing he is the best, he's proven it over and over again. Listen love confidence does not exist in a void. You don't curl up in your bed and be confident you need something to be confident about you need something to be confident about you need something to be confident about you need something to be confident about you need- . When ladies ask me "how do I become confident" my first thought is, about what? You want to be confident about what exactly? About your social skills? That everyone will like you?? YOU ARE A SHY INTROVERT how will thar happen? In your grades? WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU STUDIED? In your talents? HOW MANY PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THEM? DO YOU PRACTISE?? what do you want to be confident about? Confidence, love, DOES NOT EXIST IN A VOID. The more skills you amass the more confident you are in yourself. The more competent you are the more confident you are.

Athletes are confident because they know they have trained. So are models and professionals &c &c. They are confident because they are COMPETENT which is because they put in the work.

Lazy girls don't win.

6. Positive focus

Now yall know I hate this little phrase here but but but you can not overlook the positive and expect confidence. If all you ever think is "I'm fat I'm broke no one likes me I'm a failure wuh wuh" what do you expect. Confidence doesn't exist in a void you must give it a threshold to operate on.

In his book [Mastery] Robert Greene (cementing his reign as the greatest Philosopher of the 21st century) states that all you need is one thing you are good at. A focus on it will make you a master. You don't need to have 588689 talents and straight As in all your classes and be liked by everyone and have 6777 minors no. That one thing. That thing that lights you up. That you never run out of ideas on. That you can work on for hours? Focus on that. That one friend that's always there. How you just love the shape of your eyebrows. How you are obsessed with your singing voice. How you just like how your table arrangement looks. How you like your meals. You need one thing. Just one. Focus on that. One thing you like. Repeat it to yourself everyday. I like my hair it's so glossy. I love science I'm great at it. I love my mom. Just one.

7. Affirmations

Another little thing I loath but science is science and science says the adult brain is programmed by repetition. That's the most I'll say because I loath this littol ting sm and I'm petty.

8. Looks.

On today's episode of things this girl REFUSES to explain how looking your version of the best boosts your confidence makes the list. The girls that get it get it the girls that don't, what's wrong with yuuuu

-,-

9. Boundaries

This girl has two different blog posts on those. This girl wants you to go read both, again.

10. Honesty & authenticity

If there is one thing that will miraculously boost your confidence it's these two. What makes point [1] so important is that it allows authenticity. I don't know how to articulate this without sounding like the psychology geek that I am but the highest level of confidence is being so comfortable with yourself that you don't need to hide. Compulsive lying is a marker of a people pleaser based on the belief [I am not good enough as I am] which is complete utter bullshit Self worth exists in a void its completely inown from the second you are conceived you are worthy. The marker of a confident person is being so at home and secure in yourself that you feel no need to hide. And I do not mean apathy, I mean being so at home with yourself that you do not feel the need to hide. This is me. Top tier mentality.

11. Kill thy ego

Just kidding hehe. Actually no I'm not. I don't think it's entirely possible to kill your ego (or even healthy) but I know it is the source of all your shame and rage and embarrassment and guilt. Your ego is ze enemy [its not actually its a friend but for the purpose of this point let's act like it is]. You need to take yourself off every single pedestal you're on. That [I'm a God] mentality will ruin your confidence because every time someone says or does something you disagree with its a 6979997 word reblog, 168 tiktoks commenting on it, a reddit thread and its just- get back down to earth. You're not God. Your perspective of life is not divine and holy and your philosophy and belief system is not the law. When someone does not agree with you let it slide. That's their perspective. Based on the life they've lived, their culture, their trauma, their beliefs, you're wrong. And that's okay. Don't let your ego keep you up writing 69789988 words in retaliation killing your confidence because you're getting hurt by the fact that someone that grew up in a different home, culture, religion & c has a different view. Did you expect we are all little yous? The ego is the sole origin of pain.

Confidence is security that we can AVOID PAIN and gain pleasure. You get??

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How I have improved my routines and consistency

Hello girlies! This first week of my vacations period I have been using it as a test for my ideal routines and schedule, identifying what goes right and wrong and what changes do I need to do to be consistent and have an efficient systmem. What you'll be reading next are all the things I have done and learned to apply to have a calm, healthy, fun and fulfillling routines and daily schedule, overrall improving my lifetyle.

Identify

Energy levels: Are you a morning person or a night owl? Do you identify when do you have the most energy and when it goes down? What would be my ideal time to sleep and wake up?

What negative habits do I have? And why do I have them? With what habits I can switch them?

Why do I procrastinate? In which ways I procrastinate and distract myself?

How I want my lifestyle to look like? What habits, routines, hobbies and activities are included in my daily life? How do I act on a daily basis?

Creating my schedule and routines

Set a sleeping schedule that fits you based on your energy levels.

Create a morning, night and pampering routines that you enjoy doing, that you are comfortable with and makes you feel fulfilled.

Create (if neccesary) other routines that you need:There are probably other things you want to do that you need a routine for! For example, I have a mini manifesting routine and a weekly spiritual healing routine. I also want to create a language sudy routine too.

Include non-negotiable healthy habits: this habits are the ones that keep you healthy in body, work with your mind and give you peace. For example, some of mine are: eating 3 healthy meals, tidying up my space for 30 minutes, listening to a podcast, don't use my phone for more than three hours, etc. Also, include fun habits to help you romanticize the day and feel good.

Have time to do things I love: I have noticed that if I don't do the things I love after long period of time, meaning productive only days, I get burned out and more prone to procastinate and get distracted when I get the chance. Make sure you have time to yourself, either be it hobbies or fun activities, you will keep your mind, heart, body (if it's physical) and soul healthy!

Have time to rest and be still: We need to understand that we need rests, so we have to respect it and let us be. Also we need some minutes in silence to connect with ourselves, body and creativity out of all the noise and stimuli.

Maintaining consistency

Plan my day: I plan my daily tasks and my daily schedule, this to not procrastinate overthinking "what I'm going to do?"

Add a place and hour: For any routine, habit or activity decide "Where am I going to do it? At what time or after what habit?"

Habit stacking or multitasking: If I have a "listening habit" (podcast, subliminal, listening to high vibe music) with a "not-thinking alot habit" (tidyin up my space, do the dishes, cooking) habit I do them both at the same time. If I need to do a habit that needs my full attention then it will be done that way.

Include timers (if needed): This helps me know how much time do I need to do my habits and to know if it's taking me more or less time to complete them. I use an app where I have my routines (morning, night, weekly reset, mini manifestation and spiritual healing activities) with each habit having a timer.

Have a habit tracker: In here I write a daily log that includes filling boxes of my daily non negotiable habits and extra habits (that romanticize my life or keep me healthy). Also includes two questions: "What progress did I made today with my goals? Is there something I need tom improve or change in my system?'.

Romanticize! Your habits and activities, routine sets, daily schedule, romanticize your days your way! It's different for everyone, so find out how to add magic into your life.

Wasted day? It's never too late to do something useful. Keep going or journal about what went wrong. I like to remind myself my motivations and ideal lifestyle to mantain myself going forward.

Let's be healthy and organized together! 𑄽𑄺ྀ

Biggest form of self love…

Choosing yourselfೃ࿔*:･

• Set boundaries and stick with them, girl. Allowing someone to cross your boundaries and hurt you, THEN FORGIVING THEM?? No. That is like the ultimate act of anti-self love.

It can be good to give second chances and be forgiving, but you have to cut out toxic people if you want the best for yourself.

• Say ‘no’ without feeling bad. YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON. Do what YOU want to do.

• Be caring and loving towards yourself. Never neglect or hurt yourself. You are the most important person in your life, seriously.

Be kind to others while still putting yourself first.

• Push yourself a bit! Try new things, set goals, and work to improve yourself.

Sometimes self love can mean getting out of your comfort zone and growing a bit. Find new ways to be your best self.

• Relax. Pushing yourself is great, but stretching yourself out too thin is no good. Sometimes you need to rest, relax, and pamper yourself, after all you deserve it.

I love to treat myself.

Go for a peaceful walk. Take a long bath/shower. Lay in bed. Make a warming beverage. Watch your fav show/movie/Youtuber/etc. Make yourself a cute snack or a nice filling meal. Do whatever makes you feel good. <333