Feminine Body Language⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧁

to all of my dolls finding themselves:

originality is the "aesthetic" you are looking for. individuality is the "it factor" you are looking for. from your personality, pieces, hair, cadence of voice...even down to your favorite foods or special interests. you aren't supposed to change every aspect about yourself to be more palatable for everyone you meet. that actually makes you BORING!!!

"but so and so is doing this" "but what if people don't like it" ... so??? don't take people disliking your aesthetic as a sign that you need to do something different. like, of course they don't like it or have second thoughts - it's because THEY wouldn't do it themselves because it wouldn't go with THEIR given aesthetic. HELLOO??????

unless they are like minded, stop asking other people to weigh in on the things you CLEARLY like about yourself. especially if it's a core personality trait or interest. your LIFE isn't a group project. your LIFE is not a co-op game.

and yes... people will try to force you to assimilate and follow the crowd by speaking misfortune on your rebrand, your expression, your hobbies, your chosen path out of jealousy. however, that jealousy is lowkey unspoken respect for the fact you have the candor to go against homogeneity.

your authentic dedication to everything that makes you YOU is what will bring you the illustrious life you so fervently seek in the end...not some book a celebrity wrote or a youtube video. it's in YOUR DNA to be a star already in anything you want to do.

there isn't one tutorial on this world wide web that will help you if you don't realize you have the components within you first. there is NOTHING wrong with you!!! you are EVERYTHING that is right already!!!

NEVER conform to the way they think you should shine.

HOW TO BEGIN HEALING

ACKNOWLEDGE THE PAIN AND DAMAGE. Others will try frequently to avoid these feelings and the thought that they’re hurt or hurting. However, it is a massive roadblock to starting your journey. 

You have to truly confront yourself. Journal, vent to someone, draw or however you feel is best to truly express how you feel, you do. 

EXTRACT TRIGGERS. Don’t let your physical environment encourage triggers that resurface your hurt self or continue to hurt you. E.g. friends, social media, family, bad habits etc. 

DAILY REFLECTION. You have to start to confront your feelings and experiences, but I know, it’s scary and we don’t want to revisit bad times. Please try to do some self-reflection daily about personal feelings and experiences, as it gets easier when it’s so frequent. 

ESTABLISH ORDER & ROUTINES. Start putting in good habits in your life and slowly improve your mental and physical well-being. Healing is going to be all over the place and messy. So when we have a routine to fall back on when needed, it just makes us feel better. 

ACTUAL SELF-CARE. Everything showers and face masks are nice and all, but they are not the only aspects of self-care. Self-care is doing the things that are good for you, disregarding how you currently feel. E.g. cooking and eating a healthy breakfast instead of eating takeout. 

BE PATIENT AND PERSISTENT. Healing is going to be hard regardless of what hurt you. There will be days when you feel like giving up. However, I encourage you to fight those feelings of hopelessness and continue. 

REMOVE SHAME FROM YOUR MIND. Another roadblock, it limits you from all the help and lessons you get in life. It isolates you, from everybody else who does care about you and wants to help. Asking for anything is not embarrassing. 

RECONNECT WITH YOURSELF. Start doing hobbies that you love, learning about things you’ve been curious about, and reading books on your favourite topics. Reconnection is so important because it brings emotional and mental prosperity. 

STOP Being His “Spoiled” Girlfriend

HOW TO RECEIVE GF TREATMENT WITHOUT COMMITMENT!

“My man, my man, my man,”

You’re not spoiled being on standby when you want to be secured, sorry. It cancels out.

Here’s why you’re still a placeholder even though you’re being spoiled by the most generous boyfriend in the world:

You’re giving up the cat (with excitement bc he’s “spoiling you). I can stop here.

You’ve claimed commitment in exchange for his companionship (and coins). This means you’ve loss the leverage of having him chase and most likely don’t care to make him chase

Most of y’all are receiving gifts, not investments (purses not properties)

The strategy of “Beneficiary Dating” allows you to receive both gifts and investments from suitors without being on standby for a ring (or to bend over)

Here’s how you can receive Girlfriend Treatment WITHOUT becoming anyone’s girlfriend:

Commit to celibacy, please

Keep them at a physical and emotional distance. Y’all We can’t WAIT to pillow talk about our traumas and past relationships. Detachment please

Have the goal of marriage without rushing to get married

Become the girl they beg for commitment, even if you know you’re going to always say no.

There’s a psychological allure of perusing something that is not accessible. Or someone that’s not accessible- you.

You’re inaccessible for commitment without a masculine making you the beneficiary for their life insurance plan. I don’t make the rules!

First comes investment, then comes intimacy

Click to learn how to “Beneficiary Date”

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where to start

introduction:

self-improvement looks very simple on paper. eat better, workout, have a skin care and hair care routine. lower your screentime, study, be organized, have hobbies. but trust me i know how difficult it is to actually DO the things you talk about doing. how hard it is to even know where to start, and how to stay consistent. roadblocks also happen, things out of your control. but ultimately you can make change in your life, just little by little.

planning:

during this stage you need to think of what you want to accomplish and creating an action plan full of steps that can get you there. i've provided my own example too :)

prioritize your physical and mental health. when those things are improving then pretty much everything else in your life will start to follow. just look at yourself now and think 'what can i do better? how can i be happier & healthier?'

write down your goals.

create an action plan for each goal. what steps can you take to achieve this goal? make a step by step plan.

come up with things you can do everyday to reach that goal. what adjustments can you make in your everyday routine that'll help you get there? for example, i want to make an etsy shop so i sew for 20+ minutes a day on weekends, and sew 30 minutes on weekdays.

excecuting:

the most important part is slowly easing into your new habits. look at your goals and think 'what steps am i taking to reach it?'

meeting your basic needs. before you even think about self improvement make sure you're taking care of your health and hygeine. this means eating enough, being hydrated, taking care of your hygeine. always make sure that your core needsre met consistently before you even begin.

start small. once you've gotten consistent with meeting your basic needs then start making small changes. (ex. exercising for 10 minutes, reading for 10 minutes, start small with the habits you planned) dont overwhelm yourself!

have a fluid plan. be open to change- if something really isn't working then adjust it! and, when you continue to do something for a while, start doing it longer- i used to walk around 1.5 miles daily for almost a month and then started doing 2.5. keep increasing until you're at a healthy point.

having a good mindset. as always make sure your mindset is good. remember that progress isn't linear- you're going to screw up sometimes and get off track. just make sure you learn from every experience.

conclusion:

no matter what there ARE going to be problems or things that don't go your way, things that aren't in your control. since my 15th birthday i've been applying to jobs left and right, over 30 or so, and it's been 5 months of rejection due to my age (15 year olds can only work 3 hours in a row and most places need more). since i can't control that i just keep applying and in the mean time i focus on the other aspects of my life! it can be really frustrating but you just have to keep pushing.

Hi, do u have any tips for building a thicker skin and not getting hurt easily? I've only just realized recently that I'm very sensitive, if someone talks a little rudely to me or says something rude to me, I get hurt and anxious. It's so weird because I usually do not care about what other people do or think about me. But I can't handle being treated rudely or criticism. I just have the urge to stop talking, runaway or leave if a person is even a tiny bit rude to me. help.

Hi love! I would say it's all about cultivating emotional resilience. Like any muscle, you need to train your mind to remain calmer under pressure or stressful situations. Here are some ways I think are helpful to build this skillset:

Step into difficult conversations as two people vs. a project/problem/situation. Depersonalize any criticism by objectifying the criticism of a certain behavior, action, etc. Think of it as its own entity – like an object that can float away in the wind.

Internalize that a lot of criticism/rudeness is a form of projection and says more about the other person's inner turmoil than your demeanor or character. Offering non-constructive criticism is self-destructive. Case closed.

Look inward and make it a priority to truly get to know yourself. What are your core values? Desires? Goals? How do you want to present yourself to the world? What are your likes? Dislikes? Fears? Self-knowledge gives you a blueprint of how to move forward.

Reverse your "what ifs." Instead of wondering what could go wrong by leaning into criticism and difficult situations, consider "what's the worst that can happen?" Once you ask yourself and answer this question honestly, you realize that most of the time your fear is disproportional to the likely outcome.

Consider learning to sit/be present in the discomfort to be an act of self-care. You're becoming emotionally stronger and proving to yourself that you can hold your own in any situation. Stick up for yourself but know when to silently bow out for your own sake vs run away due to perceived personal incompetence.

Hope this helps xx

PROCESSING YOUR EMOTIONS WITHOUT SUPPRESSING THEM - TECHNIQUES

this post is all about how to process emotions that we are uncomfortable with, safely and positively. Today, I’d like it if you’d try to implement at least one technique today!

REMINDERS

Remember that when you feel an emotion, it is your body communicating itself to you. Listen to your emotion, and understand.

All emotions are temporary, and will pass. But some can leave a more long term effect on us.

Having the skill of sitting through uncomfortable emotions calmly, and not let it impact our lives greatly will serve you well.

TECHNIQUES

STOP TECHNIQUE

S- Stop what you’re doing, pause all activities and shut off your brain.

T- Take a few deep breathes, continue until your focus is only on breathing deeply.

O- Observe your thoughts, your body language, any physical sensations and acknowledge them within you.

P- Proceed with any activity that may help you process this emotion. Meditation, journaling, stretching, talking to someone, etc.

ALL TECHNIQUE

A- Acknowledge, accept and alllow what you feel. Identify what emotion you feel, if you can’t, try to associate it with something. Sit in this feeling for awhile and truly accept it within you.

L- Link it to a circumstance or situation that may explain why you’re feeling this way. E.g ‘I feel so irritated lately, it may be because I’ve been eating sugary foods more’

L- Learn what this emotion may be telling you. There’s not much detail on this because only you know what your body needs/wants.

SELF EXPRESSION

Draw, write, compose music on what this feeling looks like, sounds like, maybe even their taste. This really helps go deep in your emotions, analyse it and then hopefully process it.

me

Cute habits for this fall ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

• hot girl walks in autumn weather

• drinking tea in a cute mug, early in the morning

• study dates with the girls (library, cafe, so cute)

• meditating outside, breathing in that fresh autumn air girllll

• reading/book shopping

• gua sha + skin care routine + lash/eyebrow serum

• working out like a pink pilates muscle mommy

• journaling + self improvement/healing

• long soaks in the bath, epson salt, bubbles, essential oils, candles, everything girl

• manifesting/daydreaming (one of my favs)

what happened to originality??⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍬💕

social media is so helpful and is overall a positive thing in my opinion, but if we're not self aware i think that it can get to a point where u find urself parakeeting memes and stuff u see on social media and it starts to BECOME you.

and i think its so disheartening to see people band wagon on the next biggest trend and look to social media to find out who they are and what their personality is and how they should be. when it gets to that point ur like a copy and paste of everyone else and originality gets lost in the process.

it’s okay to like trends and participate in them, but let them be things that reflect who you already are, not who you think you should be. thats all ✍🏽🎀

what if god said yes

what if you got quiet. what if you got so quiet and you curled up in a little ball in your bed with a stuffed animal or a blanket or a pillow and you said, “god, can we talk?” and because god is you and you are god you didn’t have to wait and you didn’t have to go anywhere at all and—“yes,” god said. and you said, “god, i want an apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city.” “god, i want the boy with the kind eyes and tattoo-covered arms and exquisite taste in music.” “god, i want to feel alive again.” “god, i want to travel first-class to switzerland.” “god, i want a hound dog named finn.” and god said, “yes.” and you said, “but how can you make this happen?” and god said, “i can make anything happen.” and you said, “quickly?” and god said, “i love you. why would i not make this rapid?” and you said, “i can trust you?” and god said, “like your life depends on it.” and you said, “my life does depend on it.” and god said, “i know. i’ve got it now. you’re safe. let me take care of it.” and you hugged god. and god hugged you. and you hugged yourself. and you drifted off to sleep saying, “i have it. i’m safe. i have it. i’m safe. i have it. i’m—” and you woke in the morning and the world was new. because you knew it was done. because god said yes. and god never goes back on a yes unless you tell god “no.” and any time throughout the day you thought, “is anything happening?” god said, “it’s all happening.” and you said, “but i can’t see a thing.” and god said, “i am your eyes.” and you said, “but i don’t have to do anything?” and god said, “you did the only thing needed.” and you said, “but what about my thoughts and my state and acting as if?” and god said, “i love you.” and you knew what that meant. so instead of worrying or wondering or obsessing another second, you went to the bakery and bought a slice of chocolate cake and drove home and sat on your back deck and ate and ate and watched the sunset and celebrated.