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Kidnapper: Did you order a pizza?
Simon: … maybe
Kidnapper: So, you found a phone and instead of calling someone for help, you ordered a pizza?
Simon: Are you mad that I used your card?
Kidnapper: You wHaT?
Jace: you see, I just realized I have two ears so it’s a waste to listen to just one thing.
Alec: let me get this straight
Alec: you’ve only just realized you have two ears?
Jace: I’ve killed more demons than I can count
Jace: Because I’ve killed a lot of demons
Jace: Not because I can’t count very high
Simon, meeting the TMI gang after losing his memories: Wait, demons and are real? I thought they were just something made up to scare children... like vitamins
Magnus: Vitamins are real
Simon: Well, now I'm thinking they might be...
Valentine: Voyages are like children
Valentine: You delete the ones that don’t succeed
Jocelyn: wHat?
Simon: Hey, what is your greatest fear?
Alec: Losing a loved one
Simon: That’s deep…
Simon: … mine is the kool aid man, but I feel kinda stupid about it now