Brainwash Yourself With Good Habits. You Need To Do It The Way You Would Train A Dog - Fetch The Stick

essential soft skills for personal excellence

+ emotional intelligence: the ability to understand emotions (yours + others) with empathy and how they impact behaviour. without it you are liable to be defensive, self-centred, and experience a feeling of disconnection (from self + others).

+ resilience: how well you react when something bad happens. do you fall apart or can you navigate challenges without setting yourself back?

+ critical thinking: the ability to slow down and approach ideas with rational intelligence so that you can make thoughtful, considered decisions instead of impulsive, reactive ones.

+ adaptability: remaining flexible to the circumstances and cultivating the ability to deal with change (see also: resilience). can be more difficult if neurodivergent; they key is to be gentle + forgiving with yourself.

+ (healthy) self-discipline: doing what you need to do regardless of whether you 'feel like it' (see also: emotional intelligence, so that you're not ruled by your emotional state). remember that you can cultivate healthy discipline with gentle nurture that builds confidence over time, rather than toxic discipline that uses shame, fear, and punishment.

+ self worth: continuously building the foundational idea that you are worthy of the good life. without self worth, most attempts at self-improvement start with grandiose ideas of huge change and result in broken promises, difficulty sticking to goals, and a spiralling shame cycle.

" I don’t compete, I complete—myself. " mindset

"I don’t compete, I complete—myself." That’s the mindset I live by. I’m not here to measure my worth against anyone else because my journey is mine alone. I focus on growth, not comparison, and every step I take is about becoming the best version of me. Validation? I don’t need it from anyone else—I validate myself by showing up, leveling up, and embracing everything that makes me unique. Competing with others is a waste of time when I can use that energy to build the life I deserve. Self-love, confidence, and knowing my worth? That’s my recipe for thriving. I’m not in anyone’s race because I’ve already won by owning who I am. That’s the power of completing, not competing honey !

Tips for my baebaddies 💅🏻 :

1. Set your own standards – Don’t let anyone else define what success or happiness means for you. Create your own rules.

2. Prioritize self-care – You can’t pour from an empty cup, so make yourself a priority every day.

3. Avoid the comparison trap – Remember, what you see online is just a highlight reel. Focus on your reality and your progress.

4. Build your confidence daily – Wear what makes you feel comfortable, speak your mind, and stand tall—confidence grows with action.

5. Surround yourself with good energy – Keep people around you who inspire and uplift you, not those who drain or bring negativity.

6. Celebrate every win – Whether it’s big or small, acknowledge your achievements because you worked for them.

7. Stay soft but strong – Being kind and compassionate doesn’t mean you let people walk over you. Set boundaries and stick to them.

© bloomzone

Mediocrity is my biggest fear

High standards aren’t a flex; they’re a lifestyle. I refuse to settle for anything less than extraordinary in any area of my life. Whether it’s the people I surround myself with, the opportunities I take on, or the way I treat myself—I expect the best, and I make sure I get it.

I’ve learned that if you don’t set the bar high, people will gladly lower it for you. And I refuse to let anyone dictate my worth or my potential. My standards are non-negotiable, and honestly, life is better because of it. When you hold yourself to a high standard, the world has no choice but to meet you there.

It’s not about being picky; it’s about knowing what you deserve. I won’t settle for a half-hearted effort, a mediocre relationship, or anything less than what aligns with my vision of the life I deserve. Everything I do reflects my standards. Every decision is made with my future in mind.

Having high standards isn’t about perfection—it’s about striving for the best in everything. And trust me, the results speak for themselves. The right people show up, the right opportunities find me, and my life becomes exactly what I’ve always known it could be.

Set the standard high, and watch your life rise to meet it.

Hi, do u have any tips for building a thicker skin and not getting hurt easily? I've only just realized recently that I'm very sensitive, if someone talks a little rudely to me or says something rude to me, I get hurt and anxious. It's so weird because I usually do not care about what other people do or think about me. But I can't handle being treated rudely or criticism. I just have the urge to stop talking, runaway or leave if a person is even a tiny bit rude to me. help.

Hi love! I would say it's all about cultivating emotional resilience. Like any muscle, you need to train your mind to remain calmer under pressure or stressful situations. Here are some ways I think are helpful to build this skillset:

Step into difficult conversations as two people vs. a project/problem/situation. Depersonalize any criticism by objectifying the criticism of a certain behavior, action, etc. Think of it as its own entity – like an object that can float away in the wind.

Internalize that a lot of criticism/rudeness is a form of projection and says more about the other person's inner turmoil than your demeanor or character. Offering non-constructive criticism is self-destructive. Case closed.

Look inward and make it a priority to truly get to know yourself. What are your core values? Desires? Goals? How do you want to present yourself to the world? What are your likes? Dislikes? Fears? Self-knowledge gives you a blueprint of how to move forward.

Reverse your "what ifs." Instead of wondering what could go wrong by leaning into criticism and difficult situations, consider "what's the worst that can happen?" Once you ask yourself and answer this question honestly, you realize that most of the time your fear is disproportional to the likely outcome.

Consider learning to sit/be present in the discomfort to be an act of self-care. You're becoming emotionally stronger and proving to yourself that you can hold your own in any situation. Stick up for yourself but know when to silently bow out for your own sake vs run away due to perceived personal incompetence.

Hope this helps xx

2024 goals & resolutions 🎀

with 2024 right around the corner I figured it would be a good idea to list out some of my 2024 goals in the different areas of my life. I will have financial goals, health goals, fitness goals, academic goals, and relationship goals.

💕 Financial Goals

build my savings account to a minimum of 1000$ by the end of the year

save enough (~800$) to move into an apartment with my boyfriend

pay off my two credit cards, then use them sparingly

begin investing my money

use a monthly budget spreadsheet (loosely)

💕 Health Goals

Follow a semi anti inflammatory diet using the 80/20 principle

get closer to my goal weight range (healthy weight for my height)

only eat out on occasions, otherwise cook at home only

incorporate more whole foods into my diet

stay hydrated on a consistent level

💕 Fitness Goals

walk 7k-10k steps daily

keep a consistent weight lifting/cardio routine

begin attending pilates/workout classes

don't skip any of my yoga classes at my university

work on improving health and reaching my dream physique

💕 Academic Goals

raise my GPA closer to a 4.0

pass spring/fall classes with all B's/A's

keep a consistent study routine

turn in all assignments conplete and on time

increase class attendance as I am paying for my education and should utilize class time

💕 Relationship Goals

join one to two on campus clubs

make a friend or two within my major

take myself on solo dates

weekly dates with my boyfriend

keep in contact with all friends I make

💕 Random Goals

Read at least 3 books in their entirety throughout the year

Move into a new apartment/rented house

Continue regular posts on my tumblr

Get to N5/N4 level of Japanese proficiency

Get to conversational fluency in Spanish

Those are my goals for the next year! Given that there are 365 days in a year, I should be able to accomplish at least 85% of these!

til next time lovelies 🩷

Becoming "that girl" and the trap of materialism

Work on your inner self before making any external changes.

It's easy to believe that the next new thing you acquire, whether that be clothes, beauty procedures etc will be the thing to solve all your problems in life. But, it probably won't. All it will be is a drain on your resources and you will still be insecure, just with more stuff. This is not to say you can't buy those things, but to be mindful of the reason why you're buying them. Do you actually want it? Or have you been led to believe you want it, by marketing, social media or what other people are doing?

Even if you don't necessarily like what you see in the mirror, it's important to have love for yourself regardless. At the end of the day, all our bodies are is a vessel for us to inhabit. Despite our best efforts, we are not always going to be looking 100% because life constantly throws stuff at us. There will be times we are so busy we don't eat as well as we should, or stress may impact our appearance through weight gain, acne or bloating. If we go seeking validation for this vessel from the outer world, we make ourselves vulnerable to attracting bad people/energy into our lives. If we are mentally in tune with ourselves, this reflects into our outer appearance and we cannot be shaken by external influences.

You can love yourself and think you'd look objectively better with a certain procedure or a different weight. You can love yourself and want to be different than the person you are currently. A desire for improvement that stems from your love of self is stable and patient. This is important because real change doesn't happen overnight. If you lack this self love, you cannot be objective about yourself and will end up in a never-ending series of 'quick-fix' changes in the impossible pursuit of perfection that will leave you worse off in the long run.

Things you can do to develop your inner state:

Shadow work - Your unresolved tensions from past events will repeat themselves until you address them.

Read/listen to podcasts about things that interest you - Don't you love seeing the way a person's face lights up when they talk about something they find fascinating?

Reducing your social media time - Social media is fake, everyone is just projecting the image they want to project and you have no clue what's truly going on in their lives. Take part but be mindful of this.

Practice gratitude and kindness everyday - To yourself and others. Thing about the simple routines in your daily life, how lucky are you to be able to partake in them? Someone's being a bit rude to you? It's nothing to do with you and everything to do with how they show up in the world, so don't take it personally. A bad personality makes a person look ugly, no matter how attractive their appearance is.

Exercise - It does wonders for mental health. Start small and work your way up. It can be as simple as taking a walk outside or following a YouTube video. Even if you give up halfway, you still showed up and gave something. Something is always better than zero.

Change your diet - Our mental state is impacted by the things we choose to put inside ourselves. If you're eating ultra processed foods like McDonalds, Doritos etc on the daily you could probably feel better than you currently do. You don't have to go crazy and cut everything cold turkey (you'll more than likely relapse), work on making small swaps for healthier versions of the things you like for a sustainable, long-term approach.

Motivation Affirmations ✨✨

I am capable of achieving my dreams.

Every step I take brings me closer to my goals.

I am deserving of success and abundance.

Challenges are opportunities for growth.

I am focused, persistent, and driven.

My potential is limitless.

I believe in myself and my abilities.

Every day, I become a better version of myself.

I am resilient and can overcome any obstacle.

Success is a journey, not a destination.

I am in charge of my destiny.

My goals are achievable and realistic.

I am surrounded by positive energy and support.

I am constantly inspired and motivated.

My actions align with my purpose.

I am deserving of all the good that comes my way.

I am a magnet for success and prosperity.

I am committed to my vision and purpose.

I trust the process and the timing of my life.

Every setback is a setup for a comeback.

I am fearless in the pursuit of my dreams.

I am worthy of all the success I seek.

My determination is stronger than any challenge.

I am constantly evolving and improving.

I am focused on solutions, not problems.

I celebrate every small victory along the way.

I am in control of my thoughts, actions, and emotions.

I am surrounded by opportunities for growth and success.

I am driven by passion and purpose.

I am unstoppable in the pursuit of my goals.

Woman to Woman

Don’t get your hair or nails done for the entire 2025. Use press ons if you must. Learn how to do your own acrylics, waxes and pedicures. Research the how-to’s on opening a nail salon, even if you decide that is not something you want to invest in.

Shop on a strict budget as if you are struggling. Use the $ you would’ve spent to invest into a money market fund, a high yield savings account or a Roth IRA. No more Amazon. No more Temu, Shein. Nothing that’s not the bare necessity.

You’re not spoiling yourself, you are soothing yourself. You are also soothing yourself needing to be surrounded by people. Stay solo for the entire 2025. Don’t announce anything, just suddenly stop hanging out, texting and talking to folks. Focus entirely on you despite anyone having your best interest.

Sacrifice friendships, shopping and self care activities for the sake of enjoying your life in retirement. In the event of a pandemic. In the case of emergencies, etc.

Spend the next few years securing your future’s foundation. There will always be clothes to buy and someone to do your hair and nails.

september is giving main character. i will stand on business this month when it comes to me. i won’t play about me this month because i KNOW i’m HER! i have a magnetic presence even when I’m not seen. i don’t even have to be in the room for my aura to be sensed. people can’t help but to luv me. i am everyone’s dream girl. of a presidential caliber. i set the standard. exclusive, luxurious, high commodity DOLL.

Hii

Do you have any advice on how to not get anxious or control anxiety....becoz after some time of persisting i get anxious what if it doesn't happen

regulating ur nervous system is an amazing way to calm anxieties that might come with manifesting something.

something that helps me in regulating my nervous system is deep breathing and coming back to what ik to be true:

that im the creator of my reality

that im in control

that everything in life is here to help me

that there's nothing i can possibly do to fail

failure doesn't exist

that im doing everything right