*inhales* WOMEN

Lily: why do you want to be a prefect anyways?

Remus: private bathroom

Lily: really?

Remus: I have shared a bathroom with Sirius, James, and Peter for the last 4 years.

Remus: I dream about showering in peace

POV’s

Reading fanfic has heightened my paranoia. Somebody could be directly across from me on the other side of the room with no reasonable way of being able to see my phone screen but I always have that nagging feeling that somehow everyone in the room knows exactly what sins I’m committing and are severely disappointed in me.

this is accurate.

James: *ranting about something*

Reg: You talk a lot.

James, who’s used to apologizing for talking too much: I’m sor—

Reg: It’s cute.

James: *blushes*

James: *punching tf out of someone*

Regulus: why am I into this?

Regulus: *verbally abusing the life out of someone*

James: why am I into this?

Oil for Sea Witches

This one is for my Water sign, beach loving, mermaid believing, sandy spellcasting witches.

4 Ounce warm Coconut Oil

2 drops Sandalwood essential oil

5 drops Orange Essential oil

2 drops Vanilla essential oil

3 drops Lime essential oil

2 Drops Patchouli essential oil

Mix them together thoroughly. Reheat and rub on skin as a warm oil. As you massage into the skin visualize the ocean and manifest that power into you. 

ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ ˢᵖᵉˡˡ﹖ ᵇᵒᵒᵏᵐᵃʳᵏ ᵐʸ ᵉᵗˢʸ ᵗᵒ ᶠⁱⁿᵈ ˢᵖᵉˡˡˢ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱⁿ ᵐʸ ᵘᵖᶜᵒᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵉᵇᵒᵒᵏ﹗

As we all decided "death of the author" I will start adding new, 100% canon, information:

• Madam Maxine taught Hagrid how to do the macarena

• The Black family used to go on vacations to France

• Sirius won the Most Handsome Convict three years in a row

•Regulus used to shout obscene things to James while he was playing Quidditch to distract him but it stuck so James couldnt talk to him without feeling harassed

• James used to blame Remus' "bad behaved rabbit" for their pranks

• Sirius is wanted in France

• McGonagall has a private section of cat weed on the greenhouses

• Blaise bet with Pansy that Drarry was end game, he still owes her 25 galleons because "It might still happen"

• Remus and Lily told all the purebloods that Mickey Mouse is a muggle God

• Once James threatened to hex Evan but Regulus heard and said that likes when he hexes him at night, James immediately left

•Dumbledore is a war criminal

•James and Sirius tried dog food, Sirius because of padfoot, James was just curious, they both liked it a lot and eat when nobody is looking

• Regulus convinced Sirius that they have a squib brother who was sold tho the Polish mafia

• Harry once went to a therapist and made her cry

• Mrs Dursley had an affair with a fortune teller

•The Daily Prophet had a 12 pages article about the scandal of the "LOST BLACK BROTHER" it involved pictures of random polish kids with black hair and an interview with a very confused polish farmer who didn't speak english

•Hedwig is pansexual

•Mr Dursley once found the fortune teller in their kitchen so Mrs Dursley gaslighted him to believe she was a maid they hired 3 years ago

• Voldemort stole his name from a old french cartoon where the dog was called VoldiMorti

• The Death Eaters lived in fear of accidentally touching the black mark while bathing

• When James started dating Lily, Regulus started calling him cheater, half of Hogwarts believed that they were in a relationship despite James' angry denials

• You're gay

this was inspired by a @/avesinhogwarts tik tok she’s made like AGES ago

tbf, the real rizz lord is remus, followed by marlene and peter

in the end the “few days” turned out to be barely 24 hrs lol

By evix, and reposted with permission.