Start living life instead of watching it pass by.
Remember your manners but know your boundaries.
Make a conscious effort to better yourself every day.
Remember to stay hydrated and try to eat real food.
Limit your intake of alcohol, sugar, and caffeine.
Remember to sleep. You need to get your hours in.
Never stay idle, remember to move your body often.
Avoid bad influences and don’t obsess over nonsense.
Care for yourself as you would care for a loved one.
Work hard and remember to save some of your money.
Know that life is meant for socializing and studying.
If you’ve fallen behind, do your best to get caught up.
Always pursue more but stop when you feel content.
Free yourself of the idea that success means fame, wealth and beauty. It does not.
One of the most toxic things we've managed to do as a generation is indoctrinate ourselves (yes, us. It's us) with the idea that it's only as good as it's being seen. You're only as good as who you're better than. Your blog is only useful when it gets 133k notes. Your pictures are only worthy when you get 400k likes or you delete it. You dropped piano because you can't make a career out of it it's not like you'll beat Elton John. You can write, yes, but you're no Jane Austen so you never post your work and when you do and all it gets is 500 reads and not an entire Fandom like that 13 year old who gets 500m reads for a book that's only good for toxic relationships and the worst sex scenes ever written so you give up. Yeah sure you could make a great singer but man you're no Ariana Grande and only 60 listeners on Spotify (friends and family) is embarrassing so you just don't anymore. Because we've managed to indoctrinate ourselves with the idea idea a thing is only as good as its being seen and we scroll all day on Instagram past 20 year Olds with 30M $ net worth from making tiktok videos and that one guy that plays piano like an actual God but he's from Old Money and will definitely get sponsored into a career and God what's even the point.
Your sign to free yourself from the idea that only massive external validation makes a thing worth it and you validating things makes them worthy, more so than countless people you don't know. Play that piano because you want to. Try for a career and fail and get one for your kids and cat to listen. If you have none play for you. You deserve to listen to those tunes and goddammit start doing things for the mere pleasure of doing them. You like art so you painted. Yes it sucks. No ma'am you are no Da Vinci that's for sure. But it made you happy. It's yours. You see it. You like it. That counts. And screw you if you don't think your own opinion counts. Genuinely. Screw you.
Next time you look at your B- in that subject you stayed up all night studying and there's ms smartkid that doesn't even come to class walking out with a 99 and the only reason it's not 100 is there's always room for improvement take yourself out to brunch and have the time of your life. It's no A but it's yours. And its your best. You're no Gordon Ramsay but that dish, oversalted and burnt, was fun to make so you pour yourself juice into your wine glass and eat it up, savoring every bite and wash it down with milk for the salt. You can't sing and honestly those notes could go unheard but it's YOUR bathroom one thing you'll do is scream Lana del effing Rey. You Paid to get into that club you'll dance .
Free yourself from the human gaze and chronic performance, unlearn the idea that you must be groundbreakingly talented or intelligent to do something or you must be unexplainably beautiful or ridiculously wealthy to be a success. If you're going to be on this planet, paying tax and dealing with unnecessary trauma the least you can do is live for yourself.
Sucess is doing something for the pleasure of it. Everything else is performance. The world is NOT a stage it's a planet you're meant to enjoy life on.
Categories by which you can sort your glow up / self development process:
fashion (wardrobe, jewelry, shoes collection, etc)
body (nutritious diet, skincare, haircare, teeth, fitness, etc)
mental wellbeing (confidence and self-esteem, positivity, focus)
emotional wellbeing (emotional stability, addressing inner wounds, childhood wounds, traumas, anxieties - you have to be in a balanced place in order to really thrive)
education (learning new languages, cultures; courses and certifications; learning about various topics, politics, science, whatever interests you)
grace, poise, posture, manners
financial education - a separate category in and of itself because being financially savvy will change your life (basic financial education, how to invest, healthy money mindset, what are good investments, how mortgages work, etc)
and so many more!
Feel free to add more below or let me know if you’d like more in-depth article on this.
💋 𝐿𝓊𝓂𝑒𝓃
Ways to Cultivate Self-Love
Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would someone you love.
Practice self-care: Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Take time for relaxation, get enough sleep, eat nutritious food, exercise, and pursuing hobbies or activities that make you happy.
Set healthy boundaries: Assert your needs, desires, and limits. Establish clear boundaries in your relationships and communicate them assertively. Saying no when necessary and honoring your boundaries helps protect your well-being.
Practice mindfulness: Be present in the current moment and non-judgmentally observe your thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness can help you develop self-awareness, reduce stress, and cultivate a deeper understanding of yourself.
Challenge self-limiting beliefs: Challenge negative thoughts and self-beliefs that hold you back from self-love and personal growth. Replace them with positive and empowering affirmations.
Surround yourself with positivity: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Minimize contact with those who bring negativity or undermine your self-esteem.
Practice gratitude: Regularly express gratitude for the positive aspects of your life, as well as your own strengths and achievements. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus toward self-appreciation and increase your overall sense of well-being.
Celebrate your wins: Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Recognize your efforts, progress, and achievements, and take pride in them. Doing this reinforces a positive self-image and boosts self-confidence.
Practice self-acceptance: Embrace and accept yourself fully, including your flaws, imperfections, and past mistakes. Realize that no one is perfect, and that self-love involves accepting and embracing your whole self, including both your strengths and areas for growth.
Focus on self-care rituals: Engage in regular self-care rituals that make you feel nurtured and valued. Take long baths, practice yoga or meditation, journaling, creative activities, or spending time in nature. Find what activities make you happy and make them a priority.
Embrace self-expression: Explore ways to express yourself authentically. This could be, engaging in creative activities like art, writing, music, or dance.
Practice forgiveness: Forgive yourself for past mistakes and let go of any self-blame or guilt that may be holding you back. Making mistakes is a part of being human, use these experiences as opportunities for growth and learning.
Celebrate self-care milestones: Celebrate the progress you make in your self-love journey. Set small achievable goals for self-improvement and celebrate when you reach them. This helps build self-confidence.
Surround yourself with positive influences: Surround yourself with people who inspire and uplift you. Invest in relationships that support your growth, well-being, and self-love. Distance yourself from individuals or environments that consistently bring you down or undermine your self-worth.
Practice self-empowerment: Take control of your life and make choices that align with your values, desires, and aspirations. Set goals and take steps towards achieving them.
Engage in self-reflection: Reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Incorporate journaling, meditation or mindfulness exercises. Self-reflection helps you gain insight into yourself, your patterns, and your needs, enabling you to make intentional choices aligned with self-love.
Be your own advocate: Stand up for yourself and your needs. Speak up assertively when you feel disrespected or when your boundaries are crossed. Express your opinions, asserting your rights, and asking for what you need in various areas of your life.
stay well-kept. stay endlessly evolving. tend to your creative gifts. smell divine. be selective. cook something new. write something true. keep fresh flowers. make decisions that age well. spread light to those in need. pray often & sincerely.
UP your water intake! no more bloating here.
7-10k steps a day. move. your. body — walk, chores, park farther. don’t take shortcuts, do it all!
probiotics, protein, fiber.
prioritize whole foods.
educate yourself for an hour a day. NO EXCUSES. listen to podcasts/youtube videos/audiobooks. read an article or book. learn how to cook better or take care of your skin type. just learn something! don’t let your brain be wasted away. it CRAVES growth.
HAVE ADMIN DAYS. make your to do lists, set 3 priority tasks and set 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted time to tackle them. boom.
stop aimlessly shopping. you have everything to need to live. save up! your future self will thank you.
I saw an article called “Make Peace With Your Unlived Life” and it really made me stop and think. So much of our lives is mourning for what we didn’t become. It’s a waste. We didn’t waste any opportunities. What came and went was not meant for us.
Turning your life around? Coming out of a funk? Getting over a breakup? Need to reignite your spark for life? Need to feel in control? Want a boost of confidence? Dealing with low self esteem?
Where to start:
Exercise every day
Skincare + makeup of personal preference (yes this includes not wearing makeup at all if that is your personal preference)
Hair done
Showered and moisturized
At least one hobby you engage with on a daily/frequent basis
At least one skill you are developing on a daily/frequent basis
If you haven’t gotten a 7 day workout streak and completed the other bullet points on this list yet, stop moaning, get to work, and kill your distractions.
This is level 0.
Charles James Ball Gowns, New York, 1948
Photograph by Cecil Beaton
There is no such thing as a future you. Time is not real. Stop dreaming and just show up. Don’t make things complicated. ❤️
I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:
It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.
Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.
1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.
2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?
3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?
4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”
5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.
6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)