Charles James Ball Gowns, New York, 1948

drop the scarcity mindset that there’s not enough. there is more than enough. the earth is abundant and your opportunities are limitless. time isn’t running out. it’s never too late to do what you love. there’s always room for you. prosperity is always available for you—in all places, at all times. no matter how much time you take off to rest and recharge. abundance will always be there available for you.

There is no such thing as a future you. Time is not real. Stop dreaming and just show up. Don’t make things complicated. ❤️

I really can’t with these ‘femininity guide’ posts that want to have women behaving like they just time-travelled from 1955. Getting in touch with your divine feminine is fundamentally about authenticity, not performance. Marilyn Monroe, Rihanna, Meghan Markle, Monica Bellucci, Dita Von Teese, Saweetie, and Amal Clooney are markedly different types of women but they are all rightfully considered feminine. 

If the vintage, old Hollywood vibe is authentic to you, then by all means, please embrace it. But if that is just not who you are, you will end up performing for the rest of your life. The unifying factor that makes all the aforementioned women attractive is their confidence. They carry themselves with an air of grace and self-assuredness that is irresistible and undeniably feminine. Obviously take care of your appearance, move with grace, and practice etiquette, but don’t put on a costume. You won’t be able to keep up the act forever, and people will eventually see right through it.

Here are my personal tips for cultivating divine feminine energy:

Practice following your intuition. Our patriarchal society places a huge premium on logic but it is very healthy and necessary to honor your emotions. Check in with yourself to gauge how you’re feeling in different situations. This makes it easier to set healthy boundaries and choose what is right for you.

Connect more deeply with your body. For me, this looks like yoga, breath work, and dry brushing. Practice listening to your body and honor what it tells you.

Practice self-inquiry. Interrogate your assumptions. Ask yourself why you have certain reactions to things. Engage with your shadow self, don’t run away from it. 

Cultivate openness, compassion, love, and gentleness towards the world and yourself.

Explore your sensuality. Make it a point to appreciate and celebrate beauty in your life. Surround yourself with aesthetically pleasing things and enjoy sensual pleasures. 

Explore your sexuality. Female sexuality is often policed which leads to sexual hang ups that need to be overcome. Interrogate and heal hypersexuality as well as hyposexuality. Get to know yourself intimately. I took burlesque and pole dancing classes to learn how to tap into the more sexual part of me.

Create ritual and sacred space. My nighttime routine is very important to me. I do my skincare, haircare, and bodycare, pray, and just get in touch with myself. Carve out some time in your day to do the same, whatever it looks like for you.

To put it simply, getting in touch with your femininity should be a spiritual practice. I’m happy to elaborate if anyone has questions.

Sorry if you have already answered but do you have any ideas about how to develop intuition? Thank you so much

I haven’t!

Meditating every day - this will help you clear your mind of distractions and teach you how to better recognize the emotions you’re feeling, and why you’re feeling them. And overall being very in tune, and aware of who you are. Mindfulness techniques are also really helpful as it helps by being present, and mindful of our surroundings.

Practice using your senses daily - such as your sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. You can do this by spending more time in nature, sitting down somewhere peaceful and just be.

Learn how your intuition speaks to you - your intuition may speak to you in physical/emotional sensations, such as goose bumps, a anxious or uneasy feeling, or even a bad taste in your mouth when you’re being guided towards something that isn’t right. Or can be feelings of excitement, relief or overall peace when you’re being guided down the right path. Also can be communicated through mental pictures, and even your dreams. Also pay close attention to how your energy levels are around certain places, and people.

Be more present - focusing only on the present is the best action you can do for yourself, and your intuition. Focusing too much on things that have happened in the past, brings up unnecessary negative emotions and delays your process on moving forward. Only focus on things that you can control. As this helps you to be in a happy, and positive mindset, which can help you to develop your intuition.

Trust yourself - trusting your intuition is all about trusting yourself, and the more trust you have with yourself, the more successful you’ll be with your intuition.

Learn how to distinguish the difference between your fears and intuition - sometimes we tend to follow with our fears, and this is what holds us back. Think about what it is you’re fearful of, write it down if it helps and how you can make yourself feel more at ease.

Keep a journal - write down any moments you’ve had when your intuition was correct, or not. Keep track of any sensations associated with your intuition. This helps you reflect on what were the signs prior, and how your subconscious communicates.

Ask yourself questions -“How do I feel about this decision?” “How does this person or situation make me feel?” And notice the first answer that comes to your mind.

Build self awareness - self awareness is the power to be aware of your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours, and how they effect you. The more aware we are of how we feel deep inside, the easier it will be to identify our intuition and what it’s trying to tell us.

Your home is an extension of your energy field. That’s why habits such as cleaning your home, getting rid of unnecessary clutter, opening all the windows and keeping your environment positive can have an impact on our mind, body and spirit. Take care of your safe space.

how to build self worth: keep the promises you make to yourself. if you're not going to follow through, stop saying you'll do it. stop saying you're going to exercise daily if you aren't going to keep your word. either say, 'i'm going to do my best to exercise as much as i can, but i'm not at a place to be rigid about it yet' or hold yourself to it. if you do the latter but can't keep it up, there's no need to force it. just introduce compassion: 'i tried my best but it's not working for me right now and that's okay. moving forward i'll do what i can.'

you need to be able to trust yourself. when you constantly break promises to yourself you destroy your self worth. could you build a life with somebody you don't trust? somebody who never holds their word? who is full of big promises and nothing to show for it? ...yet this is what you do to yourself.

raise the standard, you deserve better. you need to keep your promises.

Don't fall for the lie of "doing everything in moderation", following that line of thought will never lead you to achieve anything exceptional. Some things you simply do not do, because you prioritize your end goal and vision above quick pleasures that are counterproductive to your growth as person and we'll being. Don't let anyone shame for being "extreme" in areas you refuse to compromise on, extreme people produce extreme results.

Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Find & Be A Good Friend To Other High-Value Women

Approach finding friends like you would dating (which is essentially a networking activity). Meet and mingle with as many people as you desire but refine your vetting process for your friends well before your next social interaction – whether it's a group get-together, coffee/lunch date, or a party/work event from which prospective friendship could potentially flourish.

Set your friendship standards. Know the types of people, common interests, values, lifestyle, etc., you desire to have within your friendships. Consider the type and frequency of communication that gives you energy. Be aware of your boundaries so you can communicate them calmly, clearly, and with kindness. Embody the type of friend you would want to have in your life already. Compatibility will minimize conflict in any type of relationship, including friendships.

Remind yourself that it can be more fulfilling to have friends that suit different needs, interests, activities, and sides of your personality. Once you understand what your "ideal" friend or friendships look like, you use this "best friend" archetype to divide up these qualities among the people you meet IRL. See if you click with someone who suits some of these characteristics & shared goals/interests. Choose friends you admire in different areas of their lives. Some friends may be in your life because you connect over your ambitious personalities or bond over working in the same industry/field. Other friends may be so much fun to go out with or chat about romantic relationships with, while others can be great travel companions, intellectuals, workout class friends, etc.

Practice differentiation. Understand both of you have your own boundaries, expectations, desires, and personal limits. Communicate your needs directly without people pleasing while still showing empathy and validating the other person's equal right to have their own boundaries, expectations, desires, and emotional/logistical limitations. People-pleasing is a form of manipulation because this self-sacrificing leaves you resentful of the relationship and blindsides the other person because they didn't know they crossed your boundaries. If someone crosses your boundaries and you address it from a compassionate "it's me, not you" POV, genuine friends will react to your reply from a place of understanding. To be a good friend, you need to do the same. Good friends respect each others' needs and would never threaten the friendship because you need to take care of yourself first.

Be their ultimate hype woman. Show up when it counts, follow up, and engage with a genuine interest. Cheer your friends on when they're going after and achieve their goals. Don't let jealousy & a scarcity mindset get to you. Show support for their wins. Be genuinely happy for them. Go to their milestone events (if you're invited and able to within reason), and send them words of encouragement before a big work presentation, interview, date, etc. Follow up after a coffee date to see how a certain conversation or event went if it seemed important to them. Ask them questions and thoughtful follow-up questions about their lives/something they brought up to discuss. Curiosity is the simplest way to form a connection – especially in conversation.

Don't try to one-up your friends. You appear haughty and insecure when you do this. Good friends complement and compound – not compromise – each others' successes.

Keep it real. Set each other up to win. Good friends don't let their friends ruin their lives, goals, health, or reputation. Call out a friend's bad or desperate behavior by using language that criticizes their behaviors vs. their character (Ex: "Remember how bad your ex made you feel about yourself, you don't deserve to put yourself through that again and spend this precious time with people who care about you or going on dates with others who will value what you have to offer." vs. "You're dumb for getting back together with your ex. You're so desperate for his attention/to be in a relationship." Another example: "Yeah, not working out and eating junk food all day can make you feel sluggish and lazy. You're too cool to be acting like this. It's time to live a healthier lifestyle again so you can be your best self so we can all appreciate your energy to the fullest again." vs. "You've turned into a slob. Get it together.")

Be trustworthy. Everything they share in confidence is top-secret information unless they disclose otherwise. Only share their successes in public. Keep friends' struggles private. Don't be two-faced. Stand by your friend to their face and when they leave the room.

Schedule time to make each other a priority. Invite them out. Set a date on the weekly/monthly calendar to hang out, Facetime, have a long catch-up call with each other, etc. Create fun rituals you do together with each friend or in groups of friends.

Follow through with the plans you set in stone (unless there's a true emergency/late night at work/you feel sick, etc.). Never cancel last minute unless it's essential for your well-being. Show up when you say you will. Respect other people's time. Don't be flaky.