I’m About To Save You Thousands Of Dollars In Therapy By Teaching You What I Learned Paying Thousands

horse back riding lessons, piano lessons, french/spanish/japanese lessons, regular work out routine, every day runs, screen time below three or four hours, longer reading lists, longer pre and post shower rituals, a morning routine, a night routine to breathe and wind down...

... a closet full of good quality staples, putting effort into my appearance (skin, hair, diet) every day, reaching out to my family atleast once a day, taking time to express my gratitude. putting time aside to write to myself and talk to myself. remaining calm, taking longer breaths, staying patient... reminding myself that i deserve it. i deserve the love, understanding, success, and extraordinary life-changing events that are coming for me.

2023 reset guide

Glow up

2023 vision board. Visualize your dream 2023 and write down your goals!

Daily Hot girl walks. No excuses, babes; let's get moving!

Reflecting on 2022. Look back at what you've accomplished and what you could have done differently.

Make a Bucketlist. Write down places you want to visit and things you want to do.

Extended self-care. Take some time to yourself to recover from the stressful holidays and get back on track. <3

Buy a good SPF. Do some research and find something that works for you!

Start Investing in yourself. Money, time, and energy. Put yourself first!

Annual check-ups. Make a dentist appointment, go to the optometrist etc...

Buy a Silk pillowcase. Protect your skin and hair!

Set clear boundaries. And make sure that people respect them!

Less screen time. Self-explanatory.

Manicure, lash lift, haircut. High maintenance to be low maintenance! ;)

Wellness

Daily vitamins. Visit a doctor to discuss which ones you should be taking for the best results.

Morning stretches. Wake up your body and drink some water!

Skin/hair care. It's time to find products that actually work for you.

Reading more literature. Set yourself a daily reading goal.

Planned grocery lists. Make a grocery list that aligns with your dietary needs and goals to make shopping less stressful. <3

Less coffee. Especially if you struggle with anxiety!!

More greens and protein. Let's give our body what it needs.

Journaling. Truly helps with overthinking!!

8 hours of sleep. Beauty sleep. <3

Cooking for yourself. Such a cute form of daily self-care.

Yoga. Or just any low-impact exercises in general.

Deep cleaning

Organizing your closet. Only keep things that make you feel beautiful.

Budgeting. Check your bank account and plan ahead.

Clean your hairbrushes. Trust me...

Donating clothes. Donate the items that you don't wear anymore.

Clean your make-up brushes. The first step to clear skin!!

Fresh sheets. Wash your pillows too.

Charge your electronics. IPad, Mac, Camera etc...

Get rid of expired make-up and skincare. Step 2 to clear skin, lol.

Declutter stationary. No need to keep dried-out pens.

Delete old emails. I currently have 1840...

Delete unnecessary apps. Anything you don't need.

Clean your camera roll. Making some space for new memories! :)

Cut out toxic people. <3

Mindset

Pretty, smart, kind, and prioritising myself.

Positive affirmations!!

Your daily habits play a huge role in your mood/life. Be mindful, and take care of yourself.

It's okay to outgrow people!!

Decide what kind of life you actually want and start saying no to everything that won't get you there.

"I'm attracting opportunities that align with my dream life."

A girl who will do big things can't let small things bother her.

Honestly, reinvent yourself over and over again until you are satisfied with who you are.

Do you want to be comfortable, or do you want to grow?

"Am I doing this for me, or am I performing for others?"

very high standards. VERY HIGH STANDARDS.

Be obsessed with yourself.

2022 has been such a life-changing year for me, not only personally but also regarding my social media! As I already said on Twitter, I'm incredibly grateful for this little community that has formed this year, and I'm excited for all the things that lay ahead of us! I wish everyone a successful 2023 with many beautiful moments and lots of growth!!

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

Femme Fatale Guide: Tips On How To Be A High-Value Woman

Table of Contents:

Prioritize Your Self-Respect Above All Else

Set & Uphold Clear Boundaries in Every Area of Life

Make A Deliberate Effort To Discover Your Values, Passions, & Boundaries

Build A Strong Personal Brand & Cult of Personality

Center All Aspects of Your Health & Well-Being

Read, Study, & Build A Strong Skillset

Consistently Invest in Your Appearance

Remain Dedicated To Lifelong Learning

Personalize Your Interactions & Learn Proper Etiquette

Master The Art of Engaging Conversation

Become Extremely Discreet Yet Utterly Shameless

Embrace Growth Without Succumbing To Your Perfectionist Expectations

HOW TO BE A HIGH-VALUE WOMAN:

Prioritize Your Self-Respect Above All Else: Get goals and standards that align with your needs in every area of life (career, finances, physical/mental/sexual health, emotional well-being, friends, family, intimate relationships, self-development). Express and act in alignment with your standards and dreams. Don't allow the displeasure of others to dictate your actions or daily activities.

Set & Uphold Clear Boundaries in Every Area of Life: State them calmly and clearly. "No" is a complete sentence. Reciprocate this effort to others. Practice the art of discernment, differentiation, and interdependence. Get to know yourself, and learn how to observe your needs independently of others' expectations and desires.

Make A Deliberate Effort To Discover Your Values, Passions, & Boundaries: Figure out what matters most to you in life. What activities, topics, aesthetics, art, clothing, hobbies, sounds, movements, books, television shows, movies, songs, and types of conversations most light you up inside? Here are some resources to guide your self-discovery journey HERE, HERE, and HERE.

Build A Strong Personal Brand & Cult of Personality: I have more tips on building your personal brand, creating your persona (or ‘Dream Girl archetype’), and an ultimate Femme Fatale playbook linked HERE, HERE, and HERE.

Center All Aspects of Your Health & Well-Being: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Sexual, and Spiritual. Celebrate your needs – they make you human. Eat a healthful, plant-based diet, exercise and walk daily, meditate, read at least 10 pages a day, journal, make to-do lists, declutter your space, self-pleasure, recite your affirmations, lean into shadow and mirror work, create morning and nighttime routines. Feeling in alignment is essential to allowing your magnetic aura to shine through. Find all my tips to cultivate self-regard in every area of life HERE.

Read, Study, & Build A Strong Skillset: Designing the life of your dreams is an inevitable aspect of living in your queen energy. Stay informed, read books and articles on your industry, interests, current events, cultural happenings, history, and any other topic that brings you joy or you would find intriguing if someone brought up the subject at a dinner party. Mastering an evergreen skillset is essential for succeeding in your career or building a business. Living in your queen energy means living in abundance. While queen energy is a mindset, it is impossible to fully live in this dream reality without having passions and your finances in order. Start with my entire Femme Fatale booklist HERE and guide to building your dream career HERE.

Consistently Invest in Your Appearance: Choose between investing time, money, or extra effort into upkeeping a polished style, beauty, grooming, and physique-maintaining routine. Wear clean, wrinkle-free, well-fitting clothes – styled and accessorized in a way that appears thoughtful & put together with impeccable grooming (clean hair, nails, skin, etc.). Stay consistent with your beauty/makeup/skincare routines, smelling nice daily, and maintain a scheduled routine (weekly, monthly, every 6 weeks, etc.) for specific treatments that make your life easier and make all the difference. These practices don't need to cost a lot of money. You choose to spend more money, time, or effort on these practices, depending on your personal preferences and based on your lifestyle and circumstances.

Remain Dedicated To Lifelong Learning: Make it a priority to read a few articles and 10 pages of a book daily. Ensuring keep up with your learning & education on different topics and the world is fulfilling and enables you to enter into a wider pool of conversations. This practice also strengthens your mind, sharpens focus, and helps your brain relax.

Personalize Your Interactions & Learn Proper Etiquette: Address people by name, and offer a firm handshake. Maintain eye contact. Say "please" and "thank you." RSVP promptly. Communicate clearly and compassionately. Make the person feel special and like the only individual in the room while introducing yourself. It’s the secret to leaving a lasting impression, 

Master The Art of Engaging Conversation: Prioritizing self-presentation, learning how to listen, holding your own, and encouraging others to feel relaxed are the secrets to becoming magnetic in any social situation. Be mindful of how much you listen (more) and speak (less). Carefully consider your tonality and word choice. Remember and recounter the small details of another person’s anecdote that felt important to them. Acknowledge their emotions and validate them. Read more of my tips HERE. 

Become Extremely Discreet Yet Utterly Shameless: Do as you please, but keep your business (or pleasure) to yourself. Privacy is peace, power, bliss, and radiates quiet confidence – the greatest telltale sign that someone is living in her queen energy. Learn to hold your own. You will be guaranteed to earn respect within seconds of gracing anyone's presence.

Embrace Growth Without Succumbing To Your Perfectionist Expectations: Remember that every skill, successful relationship, and goal takes time and experience. No one has it all figured out. It’s okay if you’re not where you expected to be or desire to be at this stage of your life. Stop comparing yourself – we all have our own paths. Choose to do one small thing every day to make your life better – either a step towards reaching a goal or indulging in a deep desire. Ensure there's a healthy (not necessarily equal) balance between the two. Leave your future self better than you found your past self. Express compassion towards yourself and acknowledge that you’re doing your best. Everything starts to make considerably more sense in hindsight. 

You owe it to yourself to get up after each fall, brush yourself off and do better. There is no finish line, no race. The only competition is yourself, and when you realize that, you finally know that there was never the question whether you fail or succeed. You have already won darling, as long as you keep moving forward.

How to be more feminine?? Besides looks what can I do to increase my feminine energy

Like I always say, femininity isn’t always about looks, it’s about mindfulness.

Keep in mind feminine energy is unique to every person.

Feminine energy also does not mean you forsake a balance with your masculine energy. I have talked about it in another post.

These are simply suggestions, but this is what I find best.

Doll Diaries: Femininity From Within

1. Etiquette, Class, and Poise.

Be nice or don’t say anything at all. It’s not cute to gossip about other women, and it only speaks volumes about you, not the other individual.

When in conflict, know how to still maintain a balance with your masculine energy. Stand up for yourself when needed, while being classy. Respond to the problem, don’t attack the person. Or you can completely ignore someone who is spiteful. Either way, don’t give them the power.

-> Expressing yourself with eloquence will always win versus expressing yourself with sloppy and negative verbiage. If you find yourself complaining, work on it. If you find yourself discouraging others and yourself, work on it. Leave deprecation, especially self, alone.

-> Having manners in general will set you apart. Saying “please”, “thank you”, “excuse me”/“pardon me” is very important when speaking to others. Consider the way you speak to others.

-> Know what language and what jokes are appropriate in each situation you’re in. Always be on the side of caution if you’re unsure.

-> Leave all pettiness behind. The only woman you are in competition with is yourself.

2. Confidence.

Having confidence will enhance your femininity physically and mentally. You will become more independent and in tune with yourself. Confidence is not to be confused with arrogance, which involves overzealous behavior such as bragging. A confident presence speaks before you say a word. Let it speak for you, rather than proving anything.

•Dignity — always reflect on your thought processes, behaviors, and actions. Be self aware of what can completely destroy your sense of dignity.

•Graciously accept compliments, and graciously give them. Know that someone else’s good attributes do not negate yours. Never be threatened by another woman.

•Always walk with your head high, looking ahead, never at the floor, no matter what happened that day. Have good posture to follow that — shoulders back. Walk gracefully at an even pace.

•Speak clearly enough for others to understand, and project your voice at an appropriate volume. Enunciate your words properly to show your intelligence. Refrain from “ums” and speaking too quickly.

•Take pride in your body, live a better life and have a healthier association with your temple. This is the only body you have, treat it well.

3. Nurture your mind.

Have hobbies, read stimulating material, and always be up to date with current events, rather than gossip about what Susie, your ex’s new boo and your next object of envy, wore on Insta last night. Level up and focus on yourself, rather than low vibrational topics.

Examples of hobbies:

-> Journaling

-> Gardening

-> Cooking

-> Art

-> Music

-> Sports

-> Reading

-> Dancing

-> Yoga & Meditation

-> Makeup

Have things you are interested in, so that you become enraptured in those things. Know when you need to connect with what you love. Do what feeds your soul. Have a good routine involving your hobbies/interests mixed with self care so that you will be a balanced individual.

4. Gratitude, Compassion, and Communication.

Don’t ever feel as though you are entitled to anything. Be grateful for what you have, and what others do. Express your gratitude to others with a “thank you”/thank you card or gesture, and “I appreciate”.

Know when to congratulate someone, and when to emphasize their successes.

Always stay true to your agreed obligations, and if you cannot, communicate such. Be a woman of your word.

If you’re going to be grateful, you also have to care about others.

-> Show compassion.

Be an active listener to your friends. Let them express what is on their minds. Some people just need you to listen, not fix. Some people just need you to listen, not judge. See their perspective, because a good friend would do the same for you.

-> Do things for others, within your boundaries and limits. Make others feel special, because they are as well. Engage with whoever you are speaking to.

-> Respect other opinions and know when to agree to disagree. Do not make generalizations with others and tell them what they “always” do. Communicate maturely.

Be honest, and mean what you say. Be impeccable with your word. Let truth and love prevail.

5. Self Awareness & Authenticity.

Always have the self awareness to know what is going on within yourself. Know your qualities. You can be your own worst critic, and you are the only thing holding you back from being the divine woman you would like to be.

What will set you apart from others is your willingness to be authentic and genuine. Most people are busy putting up a front to keep face. With you, what you see is what you will get. Your characteristics make you you, and you are appreciative of them.

-> Recognize your imperfections, but don’t dwell on them. Forgive your mistakes, and allow yourself to be blessed.

-> Maintain your boundaries and values.

-> Always remain cognizant of how you see yourself and how others see you. Know what impression is being made.

-> Take appropriate risks instead of being anchored down by “shoulda coulda woulda” mentality. Stop talking about it and just do it.

-> Never please others at the expense of yourself. Don’t become obsessed with people pleasing.

-> Be self aware enough to know when you must learn. Nobody is exempt from learning and adapting. Accept criticism to grow in wisdom, rather than being defensive.

Know your strengths and focus in on them. Be so finely in tune with yourself that no one will catch you off balance. If you must have a moment to yourself, withdraw and refresh.

All of these things will lead you to your path of divine femininity. These qualities and lessons go beyond outward appearance. Your relationship with yourself will set the tone for everything else.

I hope this helps!

xoxo, thevirgodoll ♡

Half the game is getting yourself out of environments that no longer serve you & that don’t align with the life you want

how to build self worth: keep the promises you make to yourself. if you're not going to follow through, stop saying you'll do it. stop saying you're going to exercise daily if you aren't going to keep your word. either say, 'i'm going to do my best to exercise as much as i can, but i'm not at a place to be rigid about it yet' or hold yourself to it. if you do the latter but can't keep it up, there's no need to force it. just introduce compassion: 'i tried my best but it's not working for me right now and that's okay. moving forward i'll do what i can.'

you need to be able to trust yourself. when you constantly break promises to yourself you destroy your self worth. could you build a life with somebody you don't trust? somebody who never holds their word? who is full of big promises and nothing to show for it? ...yet this is what you do to yourself.

raise the standard, you deserve better. you need to keep your promises.

had to scour through my watch history to find these videos I watched ages ago but if I had to recommend the most helpful and actually practical fashion advice I've heard, it's from these videos, ESPECIALLY the second video (linked bc I seriously want you to watch it. like literally, go watch it). It's not telling you what aesthetic to pick, it's not telling you to get rid of your sambas, it's not telling you to get a capsule wardrobe or only stick to classics. highly recommend ♡