This Meme Is Not Relevant Anymore But I Wanted To Do It Anyway.

maggie reacting to fusehound being canon

2500 likes!

This proves I need to get off of Tumblr and go outside good lord

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

Thinking about

Husband!Price who is so horribly, atrociously down bad for his wife. Like loves her more than breathing. She’s just had their first baby and poor girl is DEPRESSED about how her body looks. She’s been hiding herself from John because she’s afraid he won’t like her anymore, but my man is NOT having that. Maybe some angst to comfort to smut if you’re comfortable??🥰

of course! i believe with my entire ass that price is the biggest simp for his wife. the only ex he's ever had, ex-gf and ex-fiancee turned wife. so if you ask him then that's all he's gonna bring up bc you're his one and only. so of course he's going to notice if there's something amiss in his wife's attitude :(

he'd probably have taken the baby to play with while he can make sure mama gets her rest. but the baby falls asleep on him fast since they love being cuddled up against his big, warm chest. so when he tries to sneak back into the bedroom to put the baby down (bc mans would not let the baby out of his sight and if it wants to sleep, it can do so under his watchful eye), he catches you standing up and trying to get dressed instead of sleeping. he's about to just walk in until he hears you huff and let out a little cry.

and that's when he realizes that you've angled yourself in front of the mirror while pulling at your skin to reveal the stretch marks you've gotten from the pregnancy. sees how you've thrown a bunch of your maternity wear onto the ground. the most recent addition being the sleep shirt you were just wearing, one that john had bought you, as you crumple it into a ball and sigh angrily. you hated how it looked on you, or rather, how you looked.

and it absolutely broke his heart to see his wife so upset over her changed appearance. but in his eyes it made you glow so much! :( the mother of his child, his wife, his little love. ugh! of course he'd have to do something about it. and for the first time, john sets the baby down in nursery crib instead of in bed between you two.

"whatchu up to, lovie?" john's voice rumbles into the quiet room. and just makes his way over to you in hugs you from behind so he can watch your face in the mirror. he can see the way you're trying to cover up. which is a hard feat when he's already got you wrapped up in his arms.

"where's the baby?" you stutter out.

"'n the nursery. decided it's probably good to get some crib time. and i wanted to spend time with my wife." you melt into his arms, but the insecurities stay solid within you. he sees the way you can't meet his face and glance at your figure as it shows through the gaps of his arms.

he hums as he watches those wandering eyes. as much as he wants to believe it's because of those beefy arms around your waist, he knows better. instead just starts kissing the side of your face, then down your neck and to your shoulders.

"what are you doing, john?" you ask while resting palms over the backs of his hands. he rubs his face into your neck and hums, casually glancing up at you in the reflection.

"loving on my wife. why? got a problem with it?" he smiles and then rests his chin on your shoulder. starts to roam his hands over your body. it makes you squeal since you're wearing only panties right now, having been caught changing by him.

"john!"

he silences you by using a hand to turn you to kiss him. he presses a sweet, tender kiss to you. much like the ones he gives you when saying hello in the mornings and when he comes home. and his eyes? oh, they look at you with so much adoration. a dopey smile on his face and cheeks flushed as he takes you in.

"god, i'm in love with you. you know that?" he whispers to you. he then turns you back to the mirror so you can look at yourself. he rests his hands on your hips so you aren't hidden by his arms anymore. "you're perfect. don't matter what you looked like then and now and then after. love this beautiful body, love this warm heart, love this fantastic mind. i love this beautiful woman." he squeezes gently at your hips and hums behind you. it makes you tear up a bit and then he gently pushes you towards the bed.

"where are we-"

"can i show you how much i love you? how obsessed i am with you?" he asks you, eyes determined to do just that. it has you choking on your words and you're already sitting on the edge of the bed as he strips himself of his shirt already. you don't have too much of a fight in you as he crawls over you and kindly pushes you down, a hand cradling your face.

"but, john. don't i look... weird? we can wait a little longer and i can start trying to go to the gym."

"we can work out just fine by doing this," he teases with a slight smirk. he raises his eyebrows provocatively and it has you flushing even more.

"but i look-"

"like a goddess, love. s'nothing i don't love about you." he kisses you sweetly and then settles his weight a little more on you, shifting between your legs and wrapping them around his waist. "and i mean it. nothing i don't love 'bout you."

"john," you whisper out, but he kisses you again. keeps kissing you until the doubt about your own body starts to melt away because you're too focused on how his hands lovingly trace up and down your sides.

"c'mon, my sweet wife. you look amazing like this."

it makes you sigh a little, as if finally giving into his wishes. but it does warm your heart at how earnest he is. and not a shred of doubt in the look he gives you. but you're pretty sure there's a little bit of hunger in them.

"but i just gave birth."

"never looked better." he grins and rakes his eyes down your body. now you're pretty convinced. and if you weren't before, you can visibly see the way his boxers shift on their own. "in fact, what if you give me another one. bet you'll look like a dream."

(Y/n): *slams books down in front of Gaz*

(Y/n): Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night.

Gaz: You could of said literally anything else.

(Y/n), with a serious face: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.

Gaz: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

*Meanwhile, Somewhere*

Price, standing up suddenly:

Ghost:

Soap:

Laswell: Are you alright..?

Price: Something has happened…

Every single fanfic writer that ever made Five be a sarcastic ass to his partner must be rolling like a bayblade rn because S3 literally confirmed that Five is a sappy old man who calls his wife "my angel" and cheesily says things like "come to me"

lol this dude is super sappy to his partner and there is no doubt in my mind he was a devoted and adoring husband to his bald mannequin wife😌

just boys being cuties

If I have to see a dig through a million stu/billy x reader content when i’m just thing to find stuilly stuff I might have an actual meltdown

John Price who makes excuses to come see you when everyone knows exactly why he always spends his time with you

John Price who is always taking you to get dinner or drinks “just to catch up, love”

John Price who is always a gentleman, but always stands a little too close when he’s talking to you

John Price who never takes his eyes off of you when you’re in a room with him

John Price who can’t help but trail his gaze up your body every time he sees you

John Price who always notices the way you lean into his touch and shiver when he whispers in your ear

John Price who can’t remember the last time he fell for someone like this

John Price who is determined to make you his

soldier boy *is back* homelander: so noir, you’re sticking with me right? we’re together in this, pal. *walks away* black noir: