On Learning To Love And Name My Disabilities

On learning to love and name my disabilities

And using my once-thought-of flaws (over-thinking/over-spending/over-doing/over-compensating/over-everything-etc.) Just because I have severe depression/anxiety/waiting on a possible diagnosis of bipolar disorder/am possibly experiencing a hypomanic episode/new diagnoses, who dis?

Doesn't mean I'm incapable/sometimes capable of dealing with them on my own. I never thought I could, so I rarely tried. at least with maximum effort from my magnificent brain and body.

I never hated myself but the doubt was always so severe and present in every part of my life, it became a friend that would also make self-deprecating jokes with/at/to me... So I learned to be as comfortably numb as possible.

But it wasn't enough. I was planning on applying to M.A.I.D. when it opened up it's criterion for possible mental health disorders, instead of just terminal/agonizing ones.

I know this hypomania (no matter how scary/uncomfortable it is making some) is exactly what I need right now and I will fucking fight for it.

On Learning To Love And Name My Disabilities

More Posts from Fate-tumbles and Others

2 years ago
It's Good Because Now I'm Getting High On Own Cosmic Body

It's good because now I'm getting high on own cosmic body

You said you never want to listen to a tiny dancer even when it came on in the car because it made you cry because it reminded. Did you have the last best something in your life. Which I won't mention because I'm dealing with this in my own way but there's things I need to keep private because I know it's the right thing to do and because I'm going to get really annoyed if I slip up because I'm tired, not because I'm an asshole. Because I'm not the asshole.

And defining you remix with a lot of new people adding to something old which made it so much better, or at least reminded everyone why they love the song in the first place so much.

Because to him at the time that he released it, it was everything.

I'm sad I missed his farewell tour because now I know I relate more to his troubles than you ever could imagine. Like every other celebrity and musician you look up to so much.

I think you hate that I really to them so much now and such a closer way. Or at least to me. Because I've always felt that you were a little shallow unfortunately. But I loved you anyways because I'm a loving person and you gave me something that I didn't think I deserved. And worse than that I didn't think I can get it myself because I was such a loser in so many ways in my life that I wanted to improve that.

But couldn't because I had no accountability.


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2 years ago

I hope I can prove through my actions and not my pleas for help anymore, that I am okay.

#betterthan #butneverthesame

I have no idea what North Cack is but as soon as it came on my Spotify (since I left my joycrumb #joy #breadcrumb #hansel #gretel #weird #ass #witch #butmakeher #anauntie #i finally see you now #I too love to gossip girl one day #xoxo

But there's a time to be a black sheep, and a time to reclaim the AUNTIE title. Now I KNOW you KNOW how much I KNOW how much YOU mean to ME.

And #viceversace #thisoneisforthereal #aunties #ogs

I was scared I may be queer-baiting/being performative when dancing like a crazy person, but now I KNOW:

I Hope I Can Prove Through My Actions And Not My Pleas For Help Anymore, That I Am Okay.

Same same, but different. Just like us

I Hope I Can Prove Through My Actions And Not My Pleas For Help Anymore, That I Am Okay.

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2 years ago
fate-tumbles - fate.streams

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2 years ago
And Thank You To All The Other আপাক্স Out There!

And thank you to all the other আপাক্স out there!

Frozen dumb enough to stick my head in the oven when I felt like it was the right thing to do, and now I get to reward you with my idea of a good time.


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2 years ago
Moving Forward: Will Continue Trying To Be Mindful Of My Footprint Moving Forward As I Start On This

Moving forward: Will continue trying to be mindful of my footprint moving forward as I start on this new journey.


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2 years ago
Why Is It Cool When A Man, THE Man For Some Has A Fuckin Play

Why is it cool when a man, THE man for some has a fuckin play

Written about him, no matter how impressive his legacy

Legacy


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fate-tumbles - fate.streams
fate.streams

her consciousness consciously (daaaayyum!) you don't get it because it's not for you 🌚🌝 maybe yet, maybe never #ilovemyselftoday #notlikeyesterday #butevery1swelcome, FATE: Unfiltered and unedited like VPR Reunions on Peacock #you know what you signed up for "no bullies allowed"

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