I Hope I Can Prove Through My Actions And Not My Pleas For Help Anymore, That I Am Okay.

Cotton Candy Morning

On controversy

hot takes + fate = hot fates = you cannot cancel me because in my head when I hear hot fates, I think:

hot fate's hot takes name commissions now open. i'm sure you're tempted but don't worry, i'm doing my best to HONKHONKules my way out of this hole.

Glad you're here now though so we can all sit in the hole together! WHICH IS WAY MORE FUN BECAUSE MISERY LOVES IT.

Also putting this here because you said you wouldn't read it and I have so many things I want to say to you out loud but I can't so the internet is as loud as I can get without saying anything to you directly.

If you do read any of this, know that you do it knowing full well that you told me that you will refuse to participate or be in any of my work or my art moving forward especially If it had to do with recording you.

Because people would understand why you were also confused as to why I didn't see who you really were?

Because I can clock every humans, passions, insecurities, fears and loves and indifference most, within 5 minutes of meeting them because I can repeat people like a book.

And people are transparent like atoms so it either feels like light reading or an audiobook iTune out of.

You hardly know it's there. But it's buzzing in your ear telling you these horrible stories anyways. But also saying how much you love these horrible stories and that's why you're sharing them because you are a horror fan bitch and you know it. And that will get you through the next little while and make you even funnier to yourself. Because you always know how to pull back on references and do callbacks.

It's not your fault. You're big. Picture is a magic eye photo made of tiny little things. Where are you supposed to squint and look at a certain wind? Make really stupid faces to figure it out. But it's still fun and you end up laughing cuz once you do figure it out you realize how cool it is.

My brother made fun of me for not doing it when I was around 6 years old. Because it was something my dad and him enjoyed doing together so much, and he always act like he enjoyed keeping that secret relationship and treat with my dad which really bothered me.

He would also tell me that my mom wasn't my own mom and was only his mom and it would make me cry so hard that I would scream and turn around and we used to laugh at it when we got older but.

Just like every nanosecond has context. Even if you can't see it, I can. And when I'm calling you out it's not because I care about you, but more because I care about you enough to tell the truth. And for the people who I don't talk to, that should be your answer right there.

I'm showing off how much I can write here if I'm inspired, and I'm actually looking forward to moving on to something else cuz I have so many other things I want to think about before this happened.

Adios

Will you remember?

Will I?

FOOOOURRR

Threeee

TWwWWEOoo

Weeeuuuunnn #iloveeveryjuan

Things that I hated to do and songs that I hated to listen to. Because I was trying on all your glasses since I lost my black sheep patch on the jean jacket And I realized I was seeing the world all wrong those are cool shades bb - but not my vibe I relate more to you (right now) - but I hope I can relate to you more (when we're ready). #contextmatter #allcontextsmatter #because that's how we're gonna avoid:

On no more free labour in my life (no friends + fam discount for myself

Capricorn + Fate = G.O.A.T.

G.O.A.T. = [insert MYMINEMINE x variable(s) here]

You can think I'm making up being THE Capricorn = I must be THE G.O.A.T.

#practicing cancel culture #safely and continuously #consent is sexy #I finally let myself be happy #forME #andmystans #and simps #and etc. @u-all, I c u + <3 u all

[MIGHT LOOK CONFUSING LIKE MATH LOOKS TO ME, BUT ONCE YOU FIGURE OUT MY CODING LANGUAGE I PROMISE IT'LL BE MORE MUTUALLY PLEASUREABLE].

#prolific #dontbelieveme? #dontcare #I've always held onto every single receipt and box and product that ever came into my home #because #the person who sold it to me 20 years ago

#who didnt know they sold a faulty item #so it's not their fault #they were just trying to get by #and feed their families #but sometimes lost their souls #worksinprogress

#but now I realize how fucked up it was in MY world b4 #and how easy it is to fix now that I have #CHEATCODES BITCH #chatgpt #imnotgoogling #4uanymore #nomoredrama #no more free labour #butall the MJB #inmylife

#myonlyfan(s) #itme #butthiscouldbeus #powerthuadruples #🌜🌚🌕🌛

It's good because now I'm getting high on own cosmic body

You said you never want to listen to a tiny dancer even when it came on in the car because it made you cry because it reminded. Did you have the last best something in your life. Which I won't mention because I'm dealing with this in my own way but there's things I need to keep private because I know it's the right thing to do and because I'm going to get really annoyed if I slip up because I'm tired, not because I'm an asshole. Because I'm not the asshole.

And defining you remix with a lot of new people adding to something old which made it so much better, or at least reminded everyone why they love the song in the first place so much.

Because to him at the time that he released it, it was everything.

I'm sad I missed his farewell tour because now I know I relate more to his troubles than you ever could imagine. Like every other celebrity and musician you look up to so much.

I think you hate that I really to them so much now and such a closer way. Or at least to me. Because I've always felt that you were a little shallow unfortunately. But I loved you anyways because I'm a loving person and you gave me something that I didn't think I deserved. And worse than that I didn't think I can get it myself because I was such a loser in so many ways in my life that I wanted to improve that.

But couldn't because I had no accountability.

On betrayal

I'll never doubt you

Or see you the same

again.

When I write as fast as I post them in the now what I see gorgeous stream of crazy conscious thought with subconscious neurons firing at F1 racing speed, cuz I guess I do need to drive to survive. You need a drive to survive because you know you don't have one. And that's pretty fucking sad guys. But not as sad as I feel right now for what you did to us.

I am sitting outside and writing. Finally. Is it a sitting outside and smoking my lungs out and during myself to jump?.

Sorry that was out of your depth. Can't imagine how difficult this new version of me must be

I truly hope you don't read any of this because I am speaking in anger, though it is currently my truth and exactly how I feel because like I said, it's all streams of thought that happened very fast. The fact that people can keep up with my messages when I'm voice typing them and they're reading them whenever they can, goes to show that not everyone communicates the same way. We need to be more understanding when people feel like they've discovered better ways of feeling like themselves in the world instead of hiding themselves to pretend like they're like every fucking person. The autistic kids always taught me more than I could have ever taught them, because I could never speak as quickly as they could in the little subtle movements and layers of behaviors that we fought every day to understand and supposedly fix so they could fit into.

I always saw the beauty in them like a lot of other people didn't. I always always one of the people who stayed late and came early. Not because I was getting paid for it because I damn sure wasn't. Even though it was a good work and work for every fucking supervisor and that company for 5 years and then never managed even get above them even though I could have done at least a few of their jobs better if not least not as bad. Or as bad. Whichever one is not as painful for you because I'm not trying to be mean, this is just how I feel at this moment. And then my change the next moment.

Is why a babble, because I know when I say something wrong and I can edit and change myself immediately. So my fault you have to type it out and then read it over 500 times to cash the edits. I make 500 times in a millisecond as the words tumble out of my mouth like diarrhea.

But this one I'm proud of. All poop is valid.