Fate-tumbles - Fate.streams

It ain't easy being me.

You'll find someone to cherish you one day like this too 🌚🌝

Cotton Candy Morning

Which side is worth saving first?

It's crazy how you're not even in my top [however many ppl depending on the screen and resolution) anymore.

If I need to message you, I have to go looking for you. I usually try to scroll up and down so I don't have to type it in. Seems like too much effort.

But today I eventually had to because I had to tell you something and then move on with the rest of my day.

So wild. So quick.

One fell swoop

Will you remember?

Will I?

Love getting my family's new generation into things that means so much to me.

Because sometimes:

Thanks for always taking care of me by your method of I.C.U.

You looked me over and made me better and checked me out and send me on my way, and I lost my way. But then I found my way back to you, and for now that's everything.

On learning to love and name my disabilities

And using my once-thought-of flaws (over-thinking/over-spending/over-doing/over-compensating/over-everything-etc.) Just because I have severe depression/anxiety/waiting on a possible diagnosis of bipolar disorder/am possibly experiencing a hypomanic episode/new diagnoses, who dis?

Doesn't mean I'm incapable/sometimes capable of dealing with them on my own. I never thought I could, so I rarely tried. at least with maximum effort from my magnificent brain and body.

I never hated myself but the doubt was always so severe and present in every part of my life, it became a friend that would also make self-deprecating jokes with/at/to me... So I learned to be as comfortably numb as possible.

But it wasn't enough. I was planning on applying to M.A.I.D. when it opened up it's criterion for possible mental health disorders, instead of just terminal/agonizing ones.

I know this hypomania (no matter how scary/uncomfortable it is making some) is exactly what I need right now and I will fucking fight for it.

You made me, called me pretty, and then planted me six feet under.

I'm finally ready to explode.

# Yes, I Muslim # but this is not a bomb joke

# It's just about revolution

# no I swear that's not bad either

# because it actually doesn't concern you for once!

# we're just doing it for ourselves