And Thank You To All The Other আপাক্স Out There!

On exit wounds

Thanks for always taking care of me by your method of I.C.U.

You looked me over and made me better and checked me out and send me on my way, and I lost my way. But then I found my way back to you, and for now that's everything.

If you build it, they will come.

And if they don't, at least you can pay some tricksters (read: marketing folkx 😏) to make them think they WANT to come here like it was their OWN idea.

Rolling Stone

Hear Metallica's 'The Unforgiven' Transformed by Inuk Musician Elisapie

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I don't have the time to Google it for you, but I believe in you kid. You have what it takes, you just have to believe in yourself.

Thanks my brother for sharing something. I would have never come across because I don't read shit like the rolling Stone anymore, but sometimes they finally decide to feature someone no matter if on the cover or in a bylog that makes me scream loudly. Because to me and my world and my view in my experiences and the only world I know where I know I always try to tread lightly and sometimes I step on a few caterpillars but that's not because I hate them because they're kind of grossing with Wrigley and spiky sometimes.

I don't understand why people can believe that I can hit two deer by accident and almost God knows what could have happened to Vic and myself, and that I spent my entire night crying for it. Not because I got caught, because I call the police because I knew I had no other choice. And Vick and I were terrified the entire time because we were in upstate New York at 10:00 p.m. in the middle of nowhere on the side of a field.

This is America, can't catch me slipping up. I've been called out for being born in Saudi Arabia, I didn't know I had a choice in that matter. Sometimes because I thought if I had a choice I wouldn't be here at all, so you were probably right to question me about that to begin with. How fucking dare you? I was 14 years old traveling alone on a Greyhound bus for 4-9 hours by myself just so I could visit my sister who meant everything to me. We couldn't live together because our pads have to cross differently because we didn't have all the options that so many people do. But we still loved our lives, and we still love it. Now. She is still my best friend and my second mother, and probably the closest person to me other than Domino's. And Vick obviously, but if you have a sister or have some sort of a bond with anyone with any sort of feminine energy in your life, you know what that maternal nurture instinct can do to you when it's not kicking out of the house for being different.

Also putting this here because you said you wouldn't read it and I have so many things I want to say to you out loud but I can't so the internet is as loud as I can get without saying anything to you directly.

If you do read any of this, know that you do it knowing full well that you told me that you will refuse to participate or be in any of my work or my art moving forward especially If it had to do with recording you.

Because people would understand why you were also confused as to why I didn't see who you really were?

Because I can clock every humans, passions, insecurities, fears and loves and indifference most, within 5 minutes of meeting them because I can repeat people like a book.

And people are transparent like atoms so it either feels like light reading or an audiobook iTune out of.

You hardly know it's there. But it's buzzing in your ear telling you these horrible stories anyways. But also saying how much you love these horrible stories and that's why you're sharing them because you are a horror fan bitch and you know it. And that will get you through the next little while and make you even funnier to yourself. Because you always know how to pull back on references and do callbacks.

It's not your fault. You're big. Picture is a magic eye photo made of tiny little things. Where are you supposed to squint and look at a certain wind? Make really stupid faces to figure it out. But it's still fun and you end up laughing cuz once you do figure it out you realize how cool it is.

My brother made fun of me for not doing it when I was around 6 years old. Because it was something my dad and him enjoyed doing together so much, and he always act like he enjoyed keeping that secret relationship and treat with my dad which really bothered me.

He would also tell me that my mom wasn't my own mom and was only his mom and it would make me cry so hard that I would scream and turn around and we used to laugh at it when we got older but.

Just like every nanosecond has context. Even if you can't see it, I can. And when I'm calling you out it's not because I care about you, but more because I care about you enough to tell the truth. And for the people who I don't talk to, that should be your answer right there.

I'm showing off how much I can write here if I'm inspired, and I'm actually looking forward to moving on to something else cuz I have so many other things I want to think about before this happened.

Adios

Wahoo! Happy to be here.

Those other guys are nuts or have nuts, I forget.

Either way, oooooOoo spooky.

On Tumblr vs. Instagram

At least on Tumblr you have to traverse these woods with the most fucked up creatures ever know as TumBloods and they sound cute because your head is like

hey she just did another math problem, and I need to write the solution down b4 the pop quiz

It's crazy how you're not even in my top [however many ppl depending on the screen and resolution) anymore.

If I need to message you, I have to go looking for you. I usually try to scroll up and down so I don't have to type it in. Seems like too much effort.

But today I eventually had to because I had to tell you something and then move on with the rest of my day.

So wild. So quick.

One fell swoop