Förlåt Mamma, Men Din Dotter är Riktigt Fucked Up.

Does anybody know the app name?

I'm over 3 months "clean" but, in Valen's name it's been difficult.

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Stop guilt tripping the suicidal

People need to stop guilt tripping suicidal people. We feel enough guilt from our brain telling us what pieces of shit we are. Guilting us by saying we’re going to cause heart ache to those around us is unproductive. Instead of wanting me to stay alive due to your selfish reasons try and help me stay alive for myself. Just like cancer is part of the body attacking itself mental illness is the brain attacking the body and most of us who are suicidal or end up going through with it didn’t do so willingly. We lost a battle with our own brain. Please be kind and careful when talking to suicidal people like we try and be kind and careful to not hurt you with our feelings. We don’t want to hurt others. We are fighting within ourselves whether to release ourselves from such horrible pain or continue trotting on for the sake of others. We try our hardest. We’re not all successful. And while it’s heartbreaking when someone loses a battle to depression it isn’t their will or desire to hurt others. It’s this yearning to finally find inner peace, and it’s the body’s way of obtaining it.

“Put a gun to my head and paint the walls with my brain”

BMTH // Aligator Blood

“There are nights I cry so hard that my body aches and I shake and I have to put my head in the pillow so no one hears me. There are also nights I’m happy that you’re happy and I think everything happens for a reason. And there are also nights where I feel nothing at all. But there is never a night that you don’t cross my mind.”

This.

Everybody thinks I’m so happy.

And I’m like : « Ok, but I won’t show you my arms and my thighs. You won’t see me crying the whole night and fall asleep at 4am. Neither when I can’t breathe because of my anxiety. Neither when I go to the toilets to cry. Neither when I have a binge eating episode. Or when I throw up in the toilets. Neither when I put a fake smile on my face when I have to meet people. Neither when I wake up and think about dying. You will never see this part of me. »

My body

This is my body.

All mine.

From the soles of my feet to the crown of my head

I own this.

And I can do, whatever I want with it

I can feed it, or starve it

I can nurture it, or let it waste away

I can hurt it, or protect it.

I struggle with that, I know which is the right choice, but sometimes I fail to make it. That is my burden to carry.

My choices will have consequences,

the scars may fade, but they will always be there,

on my body.

In the past, people have tried to take it from me,

claim it for their own.

grab it

use it

control it

But I will not allow that again.

No one will take my body from me.

Not again.

And if they try,

I’ll cut off their fingers, so they cannot grab me

their arms, so they cannot hold me

their legs, so they cannot chase after me

and their tongue, so that not even their words can touch me.

My body.

In the future, I may choose to offer my body to others

but I will do so with the knowledge that it is mine to give and refuse

that while I may let them touch it, it will always be mine.

This is my body.

I can do, whatever I want with it.

I don't think most people understand the urge to kill yourself every time you do something wrong

“Now I know I have a heart, because it’s breaking”

-the wizard of Ozz