HOW TO START IMPLEMENTING CHANGE + STAY MOTIVATED

GROW UP 102; CONFIDENCE BABY

Confidence is security in the reliability and competence of oneself. To be confident is to be secure in your ability to gain pleasure and avoid pain by being reliable and competent, so to speak. In this way at the heart of confidence is security.

What most people don't understand or get wrong about confidence is that it's not inown. Confidence doesn't 'come from the inside'. Unlike self worth you are not born with confidence, it's something you consciously cultivate daily. It's also not ego. In fact confidence that stems from the ego is fragile.

The opposite/ enemy/ indicator of the lack of confidence is anxiety. At the root of anxiety is the fear that you might not be able to avoid pain and gain pleasure, in fact it's the constant anticipation of pain. Given human survival hinges largely on avoiding pain you see how confidence in itself is crucial to life.

Now then, how do we build confidence?

1 . Know Yourself.

The problem with this little phrase is how easy it is to overlook. "I kNoW wHo I aM" okay and who is that. Go ahead love I'm listening. Who is you. See that little hesitation thing that happened after your " I like __ I hate__ " list?yes? Jump into pinterest, get you journal prompts and work that stuff our, yes? Get you a shadow work journal, get to the 360° of you. And yes this includes [and is ESPECIALLY about] the tough questions you wanna run from. It's SHADOW work. Face thy shadows, missus.

When you know who you are you build security in your choices, opinions and preferences. If you know who you are I cannot convince you to like someone or hate someone or buy something, I can not plant insecurity in you. If you know for a fact you are intelligent the statement [ you are dumb] can not trigger you into a 488579 word reblog because you know you're not.

2. Say no. [Build autonomy]

Confidence thrives in autonomy. There is a reason people pleasers are the poster kids for anxiety [hence lack of confidence], they lack autonomy. Listen if they get your nails wrong at the nail salon don't (haha it's okayyy) you're killing your confidence. Politely say no this isn't what I want. Get me what I want. What makes mean girls the poster kids for confidence is we don't settle for less than, we don't give in and we don't feel the need to explain unless we have to. No I'm not into you.why? Enjoy the blue ticks. No that's not the meal I ordered. Yes I understand you're having a rough day, I don't mean to add to your stress but if I don't then I'll be stressed for paying for something I didn't even want, you know? Get me what I ordered, yes? Thank you. Mean Girls are not scared to start a scene. To put up a fight. To walk out. Mean Girls have autonomy. The day you say "no" without your heart racing and anticipating social annihilation congrats. Welcome to the club.

3. Company

Now this is one of those things we think we know but we don't. When we say "show me your friends ill show you your character " we are not pulling an Aristotle on you. 95% of your thoughts are determined by the company you keep [or what you let influence you] . Humans are social creatures which means we pool our thoughts into our social group for the purpose of progress. Friend groups are literally based on a thought process. If you are friends with people who's entire personality is " I have anxayati I'm suisaidol I have mentol helth issues " 24/7 good luck on confidence if you hang out with the "ewwww that's so cringe" crowd how's that personality/ character annihilation working out for you if you are friends with people that constantly put other people down how are the anxiety meds coming if you're still in contact with your narcissistic ex or dad or mom how's that working for you if all you watch is Candace Owens and Andrew Tate and social politics clearly aimed to trigger how is your real-life relationship sabotage going if your friends are the moral police and virtue signallers mon amour hows the lack of self trust X extreme levels of self hate x unrealistic moral standards x loneliness? If you don't have uplifting friends read books on queens and power women and people that inspire you and watch videos that inspire you. Your friends literally make or break you.

95% of your thought process, sis. 95% . In a universe where thoughts literally create reality?? Think Elon Musk and Beyonce. Careful who you let in and please do not let your people pleading trap you in a pity bond.youre not a healer.

4. THERAPYY

I will NEVER not bring this bad bitch to your table every table I sit on I bring this absolute babe called therapee. There is no overlooking this. "I dont like talking about-" and where has that gotten you? Tough shit love. Download betterhelp okay? Okay. Not knowing the source of our actions, pain and shame forces us to lay the blame squarely on ourselves, it has to be someone's fault so it's mine. In this way since you believe in the past you could not avoid pain you lose confidence [because confidence is.....] until you learn to place the blame where it belongs [and it's never you. You know I'm not the touchy Feely type of blogger so I'm not sugaring you up rn. It's your responsibility yes, but never your fault.take it from a psych minor] the part of you that blames you will always get in the way and no your mom telling you it wasn't your fault is a great quick fix but when you are in the shower alone you know it'll creep up on you. Get you a trauma doc aka therapist. And we are ALL traumatized which means we have ALL been in a position where we couldn't avoid pain don't act like this doesn't apply to you.

5. Build a skill set

Kobe Bryant saying his confidence comes from knowing he did his best is all you need to hear. Most of confidence is built on competence, this is the part people hate. That Roman Reigns confidence comes from knowing he is the best, he's proven it over and over again. Listen love confidence does not exist in a void. You don't curl up in your bed and be confident you need something to be confident about you need something to be confident about you need something to be confident about you need something to be confident about you need- . When ladies ask me "how do I become confident" my first thought is, about what? You want to be confident about what exactly? About your social skills? That everyone will like you?? YOU ARE A SHY INTROVERT how will thar happen? In your grades? WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU STUDIED? In your talents? HOW MANY PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THEM? DO YOU PRACTISE?? what do you want to be confident about? Confidence, love, DOES NOT EXIST IN A VOID. The more skills you amass the more confident you are in yourself. The more competent you are the more confident you are.

Athletes are confident because they know they have trained. So are models and professionals &c &c. They are confident because they are COMPETENT which is because they put in the work.

Lazy girls don't win.

6. Positive focus

Now yall know I hate this little phrase here but but but you can not overlook the positive and expect confidence. If all you ever think is "I'm fat I'm broke no one likes me I'm a failure wuh wuh" what do you expect. Confidence doesn't exist in a void you must give it a threshold to operate on.

In his book [Mastery] Robert Greene (cementing his reign as the greatest Philosopher of the 21st century) states that all you need is one thing you are good at. A focus on it will make you a master. You don't need to have 588689 talents and straight As in all your classes and be liked by everyone and have 6777 minors no. That one thing. That thing that lights you up. That you never run out of ideas on. That you can work on for hours? Focus on that. That one friend that's always there. How you just love the shape of your eyebrows. How you are obsessed with your singing voice. How you just like how your table arrangement looks. How you like your meals. You need one thing. Just one. Focus on that. One thing you like. Repeat it to yourself everyday. I like my hair it's so glossy. I love science I'm great at it. I love my mom. Just one.

7. Affirmations

Another little thing I loath but science is science and science says the adult brain is programmed by repetition. That's the most I'll say because I loath this littol ting sm and I'm petty.

8. Looks.

On today's episode of things this girl REFUSES to explain how looking your version of the best boosts your confidence makes the list. The girls that get it get it the girls that don't, what's wrong with yuuuu

-,-

9. Boundaries

This girl has two different blog posts on those. This girl wants you to go read both, again.

10. Honesty & authenticity

If there is one thing that will miraculously boost your confidence it's these two. What makes point [1] so important is that it allows authenticity. I don't know how to articulate this without sounding like the psychology geek that I am but the highest level of confidence is being so comfortable with yourself that you don't need to hide. Compulsive lying is a marker of a people pleaser based on the belief [I am not good enough as I am] which is complete utter bullshit Self worth exists in a void its completely inown from the second you are conceived you are worthy. The marker of a confident person is being so at home and secure in yourself that you feel no need to hide. And I do not mean apathy, I mean being so at home with yourself that you do not feel the need to hide. This is me. Top tier mentality.

11. Kill thy ego

Just kidding hehe. Actually no I'm not. I don't think it's entirely possible to kill your ego (or even healthy) but I know it is the source of all your shame and rage and embarrassment and guilt. Your ego is ze enemy [its not actually its a friend but for the purpose of this point let's act like it is]. You need to take yourself off every single pedestal you're on. That [I'm a God] mentality will ruin your confidence because every time someone says or does something you disagree with its a 6979997 word reblog, 168 tiktoks commenting on it, a reddit thread and its just- get back down to earth. You're not God. Your perspective of life is not divine and holy and your philosophy and belief system is not the law. When someone does not agree with you let it slide. That's their perspective. Based on the life they've lived, their culture, their trauma, their beliefs, you're wrong. And that's okay. Don't let your ego keep you up writing 69789988 words in retaliation killing your confidence because you're getting hurt by the fact that someone that grew up in a different home, culture, religion & c has a different view. Did you expect we are all little yous? The ego is the sole origin of pain.

Confidence is security that we can AVOID PAIN and gain pleasure. You get??

Website

where to start

introduction:

self-improvement looks very simple on paper. eat better, workout, have a skin care and hair care routine. lower your screentime, study, be organized, have hobbies. but trust me i know how difficult it is to actually DO the things you talk about doing. how hard it is to even know where to start, and how to stay consistent. roadblocks also happen, things out of your control. but ultimately you can make change in your life, just little by little.

planning:

during this stage you need to think of what you want to accomplish and creating an action plan full of steps that can get you there. i've provided my own example too :)

prioritize your physical and mental health. when those things are improving then pretty much everything else in your life will start to follow. just look at yourself now and think 'what can i do better? how can i be happier & healthier?'

write down your goals.

create an action plan for each goal. what steps can you take to achieve this goal? make a step by step plan.

come up with things you can do everyday to reach that goal. what adjustments can you make in your everyday routine that'll help you get there? for example, i want to make an etsy shop so i sew for 20+ minutes a day on weekends, and sew 30 minutes on weekdays.

excecuting:

the most important part is slowly easing into your new habits. look at your goals and think 'what steps am i taking to reach it?'

meeting your basic needs. before you even think about self improvement make sure you're taking care of your health and hygeine. this means eating enough, being hydrated, taking care of your hygeine. always make sure that your core needsre met consistently before you even begin.

start small. once you've gotten consistent with meeting your basic needs then start making small changes. (ex. exercising for 10 minutes, reading for 10 minutes, start small with the habits you planned) dont overwhelm yourself!

have a fluid plan. be open to change- if something really isn't working then adjust it! and, when you continue to do something for a while, start doing it longer- i used to walk around 1.5 miles daily for almost a month and then started doing 2.5. keep increasing until you're at a healthy point.

having a good mindset. as always make sure your mindset is good. remember that progress isn't linear- you're going to screw up sometimes and get off track. just make sure you learn from every experience.

conclusion:

no matter what there ARE going to be problems or things that don't go your way, things that aren't in your control. since my 15th birthday i've been applying to jobs left and right, over 30 or so, and it's been 5 months of rejection due to my age (15 year olds can only work 3 hours in a row and most places need more). since i can't control that i just keep applying and in the mean time i focus on the other aspects of my life! it can be really frustrating but you just have to keep pushing.

Hii

Do you have any advice on how to not get anxious or control anxiety....becoz after some time of persisting i get anxious what if it doesn't happen

regulating ur nervous system is an amazing way to calm anxieties that might come with manifesting something.

something that helps me in regulating my nervous system is deep breathing and coming back to what ik to be true:

that im the creator of my reality

that im in control

that everything in life is here to help me

that there's nothing i can possibly do to fail

failure doesn't exist

that im doing everything right

" I don’t compete, I complete—myself. " mindset

"I don’t compete, I complete—myself." That’s the mindset I live by. I’m not here to measure my worth against anyone else because my journey is mine alone. I focus on growth, not comparison, and every step I take is about becoming the best version of me. Validation? I don’t need it from anyone else—I validate myself by showing up, leveling up, and embracing everything that makes me unique. Competing with others is a waste of time when I can use that energy to build the life I deserve. Self-love, confidence, and knowing my worth? That’s my recipe for thriving. I’m not in anyone’s race because I’ve already won by owning who I am. That’s the power of completing, not competing honey !

Tips for my baebaddies 💅🏻 :

1. Set your own standards – Don’t let anyone else define what success or happiness means for you. Create your own rules.

2. Prioritize self-care – You can’t pour from an empty cup, so make yourself a priority every day.

3. Avoid the comparison trap – Remember, what you see online is just a highlight reel. Focus on your reality and your progress.

4. Build your confidence daily – Wear what makes you feel comfortable, speak your mind, and stand tall—confidence grows with action.

5. Surround yourself with good energy – Keep people around you who inspire and uplift you, not those who drain or bring negativity.

6. Celebrate every win – Whether it’s big or small, acknowledge your achievements because you worked for them.

7. Stay soft but strong – Being kind and compassionate doesn’t mean you let people walk over you. Set boundaries and stick to them.

© bloomzone

⎯⎯ The New Me 2k25 project 🌸🩰 ⎯⎯⎯

✮ Healthy whole foods mostly (not always!!) - no added sugar, no unhealthy fats, no oil, no ultra-processed food

✮ No food restrictions, just mindfulness

✮ Hitting the protein goal daily (70g)

✮ Chosen sport 2 times per week

✮ Working out at home/running 3-4 times per week

✮ Drinking 2l of water

✮ In bed by 10 PM, up at 6:30

✮ AM and PM skincare every day

✮ Getting homework done the day it is assigned

✮ Studying and practicing at least 2 hrs

✮ Max. 2 hours screen time

✮ Reading at least 50 pages per day

✮ Language learning every day

✮ Spending time with myself

✮ Taking it easy. I'm not working against myself, but with myself. I am confident and positive and the physical and mental improvements will appear in no time. I am glowing up!!

HOW TO STOP SELF SABOTAGING + DOUBTING

MAKE YOUR GOALS/HABITS AN IDENTITY. Your lifestyle makes up who you are, quite literally. If you want to wake up early, then start identifying yourself as an early bird. If you want to get good grades, then start identifying yourself as a studious student. And so on. 

This helps with feeling more accountable and committed to our goals and habits. However, don’t use this as a reason to overexert yourself. 

THERE IS SOMETHING UNDERNEATH CERTAIN BEHAVIOURS. All of your bad habits stem from your subconscious. This is why mentally healthy people tend to think more about their physical health. 

The best way to recognise patterns beneath your bad habits is just to talk to yourself. In any way or any form. Identify it, see what might’ve caused this subconscious thought and then work towards a way to replace the feeling that these bad habits give with a good one. 

DETACH FROM THE OUTCOME. The more you fixate on the long-term results, the more longer, strenuous and exhausting your journey is going to be, especially because you’re going to want to give up as soon as results don’t appear. Focus on the short-term results. 

You exercised? Now you feel good inside. You studied hard and understood everything? Great job for being so productive. You did that one really scary thing? What a great start!

THE PART OF YOU THAT DOES BAD HABITS IS NOT BAD. It is the complete opposite of bad. It loves you and wants to keep you safe, so it refrains you from doing anything ‘scary’ (which is typically new things in our lives) and makes you fall back on ‘safe’ habits which are a coping mechanism. 

So, instead of berating that part of you that participates in bad habits even if you know it’s bad, understand it. As these coping mechanisms usually stem from our childhoods, we turn to these habits when we feel stressed, anxious or depressed. 

next time if you ever feel like falling back to old habits just remember this

personally, there's no better motivation than remembering that there's probably many people out there who don't want me to succeed.

I don’t doubt myself because I deserve literally the best

Self-doubt? That used to be cute, but I don’t have time for it anymore. I realized pretty quickly that if I didn’t back myself, no one else would. So I made a choice: I stopped questioning my worth and started owning it.

There’s no room for doubt in my life anymore—only confidence and belief in myself. Once I made that shift, everything else fell into place. People can talk about ‘imposter syndrome’ all they want, but I know exactly who I am and what I bring to the table. I don’t need validation from anyone, because I validate myself first.

Every time I crush a goal, every time I level up, it reinforces one thing: I was always destined for this. The truth is, I stopped doubting my greatness and started embracing it. And guess what? The universe had no choice but to give me everything I was already claiming.

So, if you’re still questioning yourself, stop. Believe you’re the best, because if you don’t, no one else will. I turned my self-doubt into belief, and now I’m unstoppable.

prepping for the next year⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🫧

welcome to a brief guide on prepping for the next year in ur life to be fruitful <333

REFLECT - take the time to look at where u are right now, look at the habits that you've picked up and engrained into ur life, then depending on where u wanna be, decide which habits to keep and which habits to get rid of. make a list if u want a visual representation

start HABIT STACKING. habit stacking is a technique that was mentioned in the book "atomic habits" which i highly highly recommend. so basically the concept behind it is starting a habit that'll trigger a domino effect of positive habits. "a technique where u form new habits by pairing a new desired behavioral change with an already existing behavior you routinely do"

EXAMPLE : in the morning the first thing i do is i brush my teeth, my brain knows that as soon as i've finished brushing my teeth, i'll reach for my head-band and cleanser and begin to wash my face. the action of brushing my teeth created a domino effect because ik that after brushing my teeth -> i wash my face

GOAL SETTING - think about ur dream life, how it feels, looks etc u already know how to manifest, if ur on my blog or around this side of tumblr chances are u probably know about law of assumption and how it works. take some time to learn and apply it so that u can manifest ur dream life. and who you wanna be (build that SELF CONCEPT)

DAY-TO-DAY - make sure that ur prioritizing ur health above all and knowing what will you be doing on the day-to-day basis? what do u want it to be like, what is ur ideal quality of life? think about habits that'd align with it. for example if something u wanna experience in ur day-to-day life is energy in surplus then you'd look at ur habits and think "am i sleeping enough" or "whats my diet look like"

YOUR CIRCLE - take a look at the people that u surround urself with, their characters, their aspirations and habits and if that aligns with the life that u want for urself. for example if ur constantly surrounding urself with someone who is lazy or toxic, you'll subconsciously be influenced by their laziness and toxicity. the saying "you are who u surround urself with" is so true! surround urself with like-minded people or people that you'd want to be with in ur dream life.

some things to practice to improve urself :

self discipline (its like a muscle, the more u exercise it the stronger it becomes)

hydration (drink some water <333)

gratitude

thinking consciously (thinking from the wish fulfilled = ur manifestation coming into fruition)

reading (or listening to audio-books if reading isn't ur cup of tea)