You Know Those Moments When Things Start To Get Really Hard, And It Feels Lonely. Those Moments When

People are not against you, they are for themselves.

Sometimes we feel like certain people always think or want the worst for us and we couldn't be more wrong. Every person you know or have come across has a different version of you in their head and based on that, it makes perfect sense that they are going to project onto you the things they assume about you. The same way you project onto people the illusion you have of them in your head.

So the point is don't take it personally. Deep down people don't even know you unless they have actually taken the time to really get to know you and those aren't a lot of people.

The best thing you can do is be true to yourself - be true to your values, your interests, dreams and the kind of person you want to be. Because you cannot please both others and yourself. One side is bound to get betrayed and that's okay.

So let go of trying to make other people understand because they might not even be interested in understanding you. They are still fixated on the version of you they curated in their heads. And they are probably not ready to understand you. Maybe one day they will but in the meantime focus on the vision that is you!

It's my 2 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

What does the process to an outcome normally look like? If I look back on my past experienc

es, on things that I managed to achieve, there was an element of curiosity and fun to it.

Until the novelty wore off and things go hard. And during those moments that's when you ask yourself why you started to begin with? What would happen if you don't give up? And what kind of character are you choosing to portray in this part of your story?📖📖

Like if you look at your favourite show, the ending wouldn't be that satisfying without the ups and downs that the characters face. And sometimes the show is so good you don't want it to end.

Of course, there are times when you decide to take a break to rest and re-centre yourself. And there are times when you choose to give it all up because it's no longer aligned with the goal you had in mind. But it's all about taking note of your patterns when you are in that "hard/difficult" phase.

Do you start procrastinating. Do you move on to a new project or do you choose to forget about the task all together?

Normally this is where your character is being tested.

So if you need to go on your knees and ask God for strength, do so. If you need to cry it out and call friend do so. If you need to watch a motivational video - do what you need to in order to move forward and keep the momentum.

Because it's in that phase that growth happens because now you are surpassing your limits. You are getting that character development which takes you to the next level.❇️💯

So fall in love with that process because that's the most beautiful and impactful part of the journey. Make sure you're having fun even in the midst of difficulties cause at some point,it's gonna have to end and the ending has to be just as beautiful. It's the messy middle that we need to learn how to master so that we reach the beautiful ending. 🪷🪷

I've made peace with that....

- I've made peace with the fact that people have different perceptions of life and that their projections have nothing to do with me but their own personal struggles.

- I've made peace with the fact that one will not always be compatible with other people because how we do things is just different and you can not please everyone nor are you here to do so.

- I've made peace with the fact that one will not always stay permanent in other people's lives, so while you're still present make it your mission to have the best of memories to look back to.

- I've made peace with the fact that home for some is us is not a place or person but more like a state of flow that we experience when we get in touch with our creative selves.

- I've made peace with the fact that society will always have its own standards that people are supposed to live up to buy whether you follow those standards or not - that does not define your worth.

- I've made peace with the fact that our favourite things or people will always change because that shows we are growing and each level of growth requires us to leave a part of us behind.

- I've made peace with the fact that everyone experiences different seasons of life and that one should stop comparing their winter to someone's summer because our journeys are different and that's a beautiful thing.

- I've made peace with the fact that the dark moments of life aren't there to torment us but are there to teach us something that will enable our growth as human beings.

- I've made peace with all that.

Today I gained a new perspective on people- pleasing behaviour. I learnt how the reason we people please is to avoid pain, and that may be through confrontation. So in order to avoid that pain or the pain of disappointing the other person, we people- please. To keep the peace. But at what cost?😑

So one way to deal with this is to accept the discomfort that comes with that confrontation or disappointment.🙁🥺

Become when you engage in people pleasing behaviour. You are not benefit anyone. Not even the other person/people. By choosing to "protect" them from the pain, you are hindering their growth as a person. You are getting in the way of their own healing. And as a result you are also not hindering your own growth by holding onto other people's baggage when you have your own to focus on. 🦋🌸

So rather than being afraid to disappoint them. Be with them through that process of pain. Cause that's the only thing that can help them better than trying to please them.🤍🌱

Someone said that being depressed is your avatar telling you that it is tired of the character that you want it to play. And in my experience this was true. ☘️🏵️

Deep down I knew that the path I was heading on was no longer for me yet I kept on pushing. Why?

Because that was the path that society deemed acceptable, that was the path that felt safe & comfortable (until it was no longer comfortable), because that was the path that made the most logical sense and because that was the path where no one would judge me for doing the "wrong" thing. ❌

But the more I kept on pushing, the more I felt into this hole of emptiness. Until I came to the realisation that something was wrong and something had to change. 🙍‍♀️

As I was going through that phase of depression, I wasn't exactly sure as to what I was doing wrong but I just knew I had to stop and take a break from everything. 🔔🔔

Looking back in retrospect, I can see how I was trying so hard to hide parts of myself to fit in with others and that came at a painful cost. The sooner you remove the mask, the more relieved you'll feel. You may end up fighting with your family or losing people you knew as your closest friends but in the long run, you get to show up as who you are rather than who you think you should be. 🥳🤗🌸

Today the weather was gloomy

And for the first time in a while my mood did not reflect that

Which showed me that the weather can be gloomy and I don't have to be sad about it

Just like my emotions, when the sadness washes over I can be okay with it and let it be

What does shame feel like?

Shame feels like hiding

Shame feels like not wanting to be seen, heard or understood for fear of being judged

Shame feels like wanting to hide in a hole where no one will find you

Shame feels like preferring to be invisible

Shame feels like not belonging

Shame feels like wanting to run away and to never be found

Shame feels like being disgusted by yourself

Shame feels like wanting to be someone else

It feels like you're not as worthy as everyone else

Shame feels like wanting to deny a part of your identity

Once upon a time I tried cooking fish a certain way and it didn't come out the way I wanted it to. I first fried it in oil at high heat and it got stuck on the surface of the pan.😩

And my first thought was "well, it was probably because the heat was too much." 🥵🥵

And so the next time I tried frying it, I did it on low heat and still the fish got stuck to the pan and turn into little pieces. And I thought "maybe it's because of the pan I was using." 🍳🥘

So since that was the only type we had, I had to find a different way of cooking fish without it sticking to the bottom of the pan.(Of course I could've just roasted it in the oven but that takes too much time and more electricity)🕑⌛⚡

I wanted the easiest and quickest way possible. And so after going through a dew YouTube videos I came across a video where they the dish by first putting the tomatoes, garlic and onions and then putting the fish on top, that way it doesn't stick and it's easier to turn over. And so that's how I had been cooking fish for that entire time. 😇

Now a few days ago, my dad bought fish again. This fish looked different and so I decided to go back to frying it first and see if it would work and Lo and behold it worked!

It didn't stick to the pan and it was on high heat. No flour coating whatsoever. 🐟🐟

So now I was wondering what was different then and now and maybe it's because of the type of fish. Or the thickness of the skin.

Anyway the point of this story is about creativity. When we hear of people being creative, we sometimes think of artists, singers, actors etc. We never really see ourselves as creative unless we are doing artistic stuff like drawing, writing, painting or whatever. And so I remember reading somewhere about how being creative is in every living being. It's in our nature being creative. 🍥

Doing something a different way makes you a creative. Me deciding to cook that fish dish differently makes me creative. Deciding to take a different route home makes you creative.

Doing something different brings out a different outcome, sometimes something that we would've never imagined. And maybe by doing that you find a way of working that you weren't aware of.

Who would've thought my fish dishes would turn to smithereens. It tasted different, a nice different. Probably because of the texture. Would I intentionally cook it again? No.

But maybe if I was a chef looking to polish my culinary skills I would find a way to incorporate it into another dish where it creates the right flavour based on that texture.👨‍🍳🔪

And so doing something different might lead to new discoveries. So in what ways are you choosing to do things differently?🌱✨🌱