Today I Gained A New Perspective On People- Pleasing Behaviour. I Learnt How The Reason We People Please

Are you constantly overthinking?

Based on my experience, we find ourselves overthinking mainly because we are avoiding something that we are supposed to be doing. This could be doing a certain task(that we think we might fail at or we've never done before) or having that uncomfortable conversation that may lead to us disappointing someone. 🙅‍♀️🤡

So it's easier to just come up with other way you can deal with the situation in your head rather than just taking the right action and facing whatever situation you're supposed to. 📝

Because once you've done that all the overthinking and procrastination eventually stops and life goes on.

It's okay to start again because this time you are starting from experience. there is nothing wrong with starting over in order to build stronger foundations.

And with that, the year 2024 has begun. Happy New Year to you all. 🎊🎊

With the new year comes the buzz about new year resolutions. What goals, intentions or habits are you setting for yourself this year?

My main intentions for this year are:

Following my joy🪇

Being rooted in the present moment 🌴

And showing up more authentically 🐦

And as someone who focuses more on the process rather the the goal, the habits/systems I'm implementing include:

Creating bi weekly content📝📋

Taking daily evening walks 👣🚶‍♀

Listening to self development podcasts 🔊

Remember, when it comes to goal/intention setting, it's more than just what you want to achieve but who you want to be and who you want to show up as. And that is reflected by your daily habits/actions.

_You can do this!! So what's one simple habit are you choosing to focus on?🦋

This past week I gained a new perspective on gratitude. We always hear how people say "be grateful" or "practice gratitude" or "write a gratitude list" etc. Yet when we do these things it doesn't really change our inner state.

So this week I was reading the book (Good Vibes Good Life) and the author was asking his client what he was grateful for at that moment. And the client replied saying "I'm not grateful for anything".

And the author went on to ask "anything at all, what about your car?" And he's like "oh yeah, I'm grateful for my car" yet deep down he just wasn't feeling it.

So the author went on to ask him "how would your life be different without that car?"🚘

And so he went on to think about how he uses his car to carry groceries from the store to his home, how he uses it to commute to work and how he fetches his kids from school. He also went on to think on to when he was a kid - he had to use the school bus where he also got bullied.

And after that reflection he actually saw how blessed he was.

So I'm asking you now: what are you grateful for in this moment?🍀

How would your life be different without that "thing"?🍄🪹

Jeff Foster says : "In reality, your world is set up so that nothing happens to you, but everything happens for you - for your awakening, for your growth, for your inspiration, for your exploration - even if you forget that, or sometimes cannot see it, or sometimes fall into distraction and despair.

When there is no fixed destination, you cannot ever lose your destination, so you cannot ever lose your path, so nothing that happens in your life can take you off your path. Your path IS what happens, and what happens IS your path. There is no other.

Everything is a gift on this unbreakable path that you call your life - the laughter, the tears, the times of great sorrow, the experiences of profound loss, the pain, the confusion, the times you believe you'll never make it, even the overwhelming heartbreak of love - even if you forget that sometimes, or cannot see that sometimes, or lose faith absolutely in the entire show sometimes.

But even the loss of faith in the show is part of the show, and even the scene where 'something goes wrong' is not indicative of the show going wrong, and so you are always exactly where you need to be, believe it or not, even if you are not.

Life can be trusted absolutely, even when trust seems a million light-years away, and life cannot go wrong, for all is life, and life is all. Understand this, know it in your heart, and spirituality is profoundly simple, as simple as breathing, as natural as gazing up at the stars at night and falling into silent wonder. The universe is more beautiful than you could ever imagine."

Yesterday was a public holiday - Worker's day to be exact. So this holiday happened to fall on a Thursday and my sister was complaining about how it was such a bummer that the public holiday fell in the middle of the week instead of it being on a Monday or Friday.

So this just had me thinking on how we as people are always quick to complain even if we receive blessings in our lives.

Sometimes we don't even notice those blessings because they weren't to our expectations or that they weren't good enough for us. So just something I was pondering that just by changing your perspective on something, you can change how you experience life.

Life is sweeter when it is filled with moments of gratitude.

It's been a minute. So last week was my 24th birthday and I was doing some reflecting and I thought to share three lessons I've come to learn during the past year:

Lesson 1: Having a someone to talk to.

I have come to realise how it is so important to have someone to communicate with especially when you are going through a difficult time. This could be a friend, relative, mentor. Like just someone you can trust. Yes they may be able to offer you a listening ear which may lighten your burden but they can also help you shift your perspective on how you might be viewing a particular situation. Together you might be able to come up with different solutions to dealing with the situation in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming.

Doing this not only helps you through the tough times but it also helps deepen the relationship you have with that person.

Sometimes people do want to help and you might not know how they feel but you deciding to tell them also means you trust them. And there is no better feeling that being trusted by someone.

Lesson 2: Letting people go with honesty

There are times in your friendships where things are just stagnant and you're only keeping in touch because you once attended the same school or university together. Or maybe one of you moved to a different area and you no longer meet as frequently and as time goes on the communication and connection fizzles out. You know you were really great friends but things just aren't the same and in some way you are outgrowing each other.

I've come to realise that in such situations it is better to let that person go. Of course, this is not about ghosting them and hoping they get the message but by also being truthful with them and telling them how you really feel. For me the honest truth was letting them know that friendship has reached it's end, the journey was beautiful and I'll forever cherish the beautiful memories we shared together but stagnancy isn't helping anyone.

This might feel very uncomfortable but it's necessary not only for you but for the other person too. By letting each other go, you are making space for more aligned friendships to come through.

We all have that habit we would like to implement, however there are sometimes things that hold us back. One of the reasons we can't be consistent is not because implementing the habit is difficult but because it's new & unfamiliar to our brain and as a result, we keep on backtracking.😐🫢

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then is not an act but a habit" - Aristotle

One way to make it easy for yourself to implement that new habit is creating a trigger. So this means having an object to trigger you into doing what you set out to do. So if the new habit is running in the mornings - the trigger object could be your running clothes. And as time goes on, your brain equate seeing running clothes with running every morning. And a few months down the line your new habit will be cemented in your brain. 🧠

*Not only will this help with implementing new habits but it also builds confidence from consistently showing up for yourself because you're telling yourself you're capable of doing difficult things.* 💪🏽🧠

🍓🍰 —— 🍓🍰

a soft reminder that coping looks different for everybaby.

some of us color. some of us watch shows from our childhood. some of us buy ourselves toys & run our own bubble baths. some of us let someone else do it for us.

some of us don’t regress or age dream at all to cope. some of us hide under the covers & cry. some of us dissociate into childhood. some of us isolate with our stuffies.

coping doesn’t have to be pretty or aesthetic to be valid.

🍓🍰 —— 🍓🍰