I Just Heard Someone Say " Whether You Choose To Follow Your Dreams Or Follow Someone's Dreams, You Still

As humans we are born with so much potential and then somewhere along the way society clips off our wings and still has the audacity to ask why we can't fly? 🧚‍♀️

Just read a story of how this one guy stopped writing because his high school teacher had told him that he'd never make it as a writer. Now he's become the best selling author of two books. 📖📕

We owe it to ourselves to go after the dreams other people think we couldn't achieve. Because how will you know if you don't try?🧩

Like Paulo Coelho said: "it's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting" 🎗️🏵️

And with that, the year 2024 has begun. Happy New Year to you all. 🎊🎊

With the new year comes the buzz about new year resolutions. What goals, intentions or habits are you setting for yourself this year?

My main intentions for this year are:

Following my joy🪇

Being rooted in the present moment 🌴

And showing up more authentically 🐦

And as someone who focuses more on the process rather the the goal, the habits/systems I'm implementing include:

Creating bi weekly content📝📋

Taking daily evening walks 👣🚶‍♀

Listening to self development podcasts 🔊

Remember, when it comes to goal/intention setting, it's more than just what you want to achieve but who you want to be and who you want to show up as. And that is reflected by your daily habits/actions.

_You can do this!! So what's one simple habit are you choosing to focus on?🦋

You know those moments when things start to get really hard, and it feels lonely. Those moments when it feels like nothing is going your way? Yeah I'm sure we've all been there.😩😩🫥

The best thing to do in those situations is to trust. Trust that the storm won't last forever. Trust that things will get better because guess what? That is not the first time you're going though such a phase. If you look back you'll realise that you've gone though it before and you're proof that you came out of it alive. So what's persevering one more time? Because out of it you'll come back stronger. 🌱🌱

So guard your mind from those thoughts that try to convince it's the end or its going to be like this forever because it's not, it's just another new beginning waiting to start. See this as just another obstacles that you as the main character has to get through. Trust that you will get through this. Trust that it will get better because that is the nature of life. No winter lasts forever. You've got this!✨🦋🌸

I truly believe that humans are born with confidence and then we lose it somewhere along the way. Through judgements, comparisons, being laughed at, etc. If we look at babies for example, I mean it sure takes a certain amount of confidence and courage to learn to walk among everyone else who can walk. Yet falling doesn't really bother them. They get up and try again and again.👶🏻🙈💫

And so one thing I have learnt when it comes to having confidence in oneself is through self-trust. But how can you trust yourself when you're constantly doubting yourself? 🤯😤🥺

And one way to build self-trust is by keeping the promises you made to yourself. If you told yourself you'll do something then go do it. And by compounding those kept promises, you become confident in yourself cause you know- you'll always show up no matter what. It may be messy, overwhelming, scary but you showed up for yourself. You trusted yourself enough to do something. And that's confidence.✨😃

Ever wore an item of clothing that was just too small for you? Like a small jacket or jeans that were just too tight? With every move you make, you can sense that tightness, that feeling of discomfort. And no one likes being uncomfortable. And in order to be comfortable again, we need to remove that small jacket and put on a more comfy one.🧥👖

Physical discomfort is one thing but emotional discomfort is some totally different. It's not like we can just remove that uncomfortable emotion and replace it with a more comfy emotion. Since we can't do that, most of us end numbing that emotion in order to get comfortable again. Sadly that doesn't remove the discomfort but rather just covers it up until it shows up again. And when it does come up again, we numb it with emotional eating, drinking, shopping and doomscrolling on the socials. 😮‍💨🍺

But the thing with emotions is that they need to be felt. At first it may be hard because feeling that emotion pain is just too uncomfortable. But the deeper you feel into it, the less uncomfortable it becomes. You might have to do it multiple times but eventually it subsides and sometimes even disappear.

So think of a child coming to you crying and telling you that they feel sad or upset about something. We don't tell the child to go shopping, to scroll on social media, to drink or smoke so that the pain goes away. We allow the child to cry, we give them a hug and we tell them it's gonna get better and they are going to be okay. 🌸🌸

So what normally helps me during those times of emotional discomfort is sitting with myself and acknowledging what I feel. Then I communicate with myself - telling myself that I feel sad, angry or in pain but I know it's temporary. I ask my body what's trying to tell me. Other times I go on a walk and just talk to the part of me that is in pain.

And the more I do that - the less uncomfortable that emotion becomes. 💨

It's about having that uncomfortable conversation with yourself. Sometimes we don't know why we feel the way we feel but we just have to feel the emotion. We owe it to our inner child to sit through that emotional discomfort with them and free ourselves. How do you normally deal with your emotional discomfort?

Today I gained a new perspective on people- pleasing behaviour. I learnt how the reason we people please is to avoid pain, and that may be through confrontation. So in order to avoid that pain or the pain of disappointing the other person, we people- please. To keep the peace. But at what cost?😑

So one way to deal with this is to accept the discomfort that comes with that confrontation or disappointment.🙁🥺

Become when you engage in people pleasing behaviour. You are not benefit anyone. Not even the other person/people. By choosing to "protect" them from the pain, you are hindering their growth as a person. You are getting in the way of their own healing. And as a result you are also not hindering your own growth by holding onto other people's baggage when you have your own to focus on. 🦋🌸

So rather than being afraid to disappoint them. Be with them through that process of pain. Cause that's the only thing that can help them better than trying to please them.🤍🌱

It's almost June and it will be a year since I had decided to start taking walks in my neighborhood and I thought to share the stories from strangers I have met on my walking journey

- One, was an elderly lady who had a daughter that was my age - who had come from a different part of town to find the electricity committee centre in our area. At the end of the walk she even gave me money to thank me for escorting her.

- The other time I came across a high school student, who was on her way to school to fetch her cousins. On that day she was she was dressed in clothes and she was a bit nervous that her schoolmates would judge her attire since everyone would be wearing school uniform. So I offered to walk with her until we parted ways when she saw her cousins. That experience just made me reflect on how when we are still in school - the school community becomes our whole world. Our peers' judgements and opinions seem to matter very much until we leave school and realise it didn't matter at all.

- Another time I came across a university student who was studying architecture - he was telling me about how he couldn't wait to finish his degree so that he could start making money and support his family since the pressure at home was becoming too much for him.

One thing I've been insecure about for most of my life is my tummy. My fat tummy. Cause that's what it is - fat.

Most of the time, I suck it in to the point where people even compliment me on my "flat" stomach and in my head I'll be like "if only you knew"

Anyway, today I took a visit to the doctor and I was seated in the reception area, across from me sat a girl around me age wearing a crop top. That crop top was revealing her stomach. Her fat stomach but she wasn't even bothered at all. For her, it was completely normal.

And because of that experience I've began to fully accept this part of me. The stomach I don't see as nice. I've decided to accept my stomach for what it is.

I've decided to appreciate my stomach for all the digesting and detoxing that it has done for me.

I'm slowly learning to love my stomach by looking in the mirror and hugging it and also speaking positive affirmations and being grateful that I am healthy because of it.

What is it like to experience freedom?

- Freedom is like watching a crow fly overhead with its wings open wide

It's like being underwater and soaking in all that watery silence

Freedom is like being immersed in a good book in a good book that you've forgotten about your existence.

Freedoms is like being so in flow in your craft or skill that you've forgotten you're alive.

Freedom feels like being relieved off a heavy task that you've been avoiding for quite some time.

Freedom is like a flower finally blooming after weeks of hibernation

It's like hitting that high note of a song

Freedom feels like releasing that scream that you've been suppressing the whole day

Freedom is being awed by the beauty of nature

Freedom is letting go off a situation you've been grasping for dear life

Freedom feels like taking that last exhale before dozing off

Freedom is finally removing off that mask that you've been wearing all day just to please everyone

Freedom feels like dancing and letting loose

Freedom is peace of mind