I Truly Believe That Humans Are Born With Confidence And Then We Lose It Somewhere Along The Way. Through

We all have that habit we would like to implement, however there are sometimes things that hold us back. One of the reasons we can't be consistent is not because implementing the habit is difficult but because it's new & unfamiliar to our brain and as a result, we keep on backtracking.😐🫢

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then is not an act but a habit" - Aristotle

One way to make it easy for yourself to implement that new habit is creating a trigger. So this means having an object to trigger you into doing what you set out to do. So if the new habit is running in the mornings - the trigger object could be your running clothes. And as time goes on, your brain equate seeing running clothes with running every morning. And a few months down the line your new habit will be cemented in your brain. 🧠

*Not only will this help with implementing new habits but it also builds confidence from consistently showing up for yourself because you're telling yourself you're capable of doing difficult things.* 💪🏽🧠

It's okay to start again because this time you are starting from experience. there is nothing wrong with starting over in order to build stronger foundations.

Someone said that being depressed is your avatar telling you that it is tired of the character that you want it to play. And in my experience this was true. ☘️🏵️

Deep down I knew that the path I was heading on was no longer for me yet I kept on pushing. Why?

Because that was the path that society deemed acceptable, that was the path that felt safe & comfortable (until it was no longer comfortable), because that was the path that made the most logical sense and because that was the path where no one would judge me for doing the "wrong" thing. ❌

But the more I kept on pushing, the more I felt into this hole of emptiness. Until I came to the realisation that something was wrong and something had to change. 🙍‍♀️

As I was going through that phase of depression, I wasn't exactly sure as to what I was doing wrong but I just knew I had to stop and take a break from everything. 🔔🔔

Looking back in retrospect, I can see how I was trying so hard to hide parts of myself to fit in with others and that came at a painful cost. The sooner you remove the mask, the more relieved you'll feel. You may end up fighting with your family or losing people you knew as your closest friends but in the long run, you get to show up as who you are rather than who you think you should be. 🥳🤗🌸

Today I gained a new perspective on people- pleasing behaviour. I learnt how the reason we people please is to avoid pain, and that may be through confrontation. So in order to avoid that pain or the pain of disappointing the other person, we people- please. To keep the peace. But at what cost?😑

So one way to deal with this is to accept the discomfort that comes with that confrontation or disappointment.🙁🥺

Become when you engage in people pleasing behaviour. You are not benefit anyone. Not even the other person/people. By choosing to "protect" them from the pain, you are hindering their growth as a person. You are getting in the way of their own healing. And as a result you are also not hindering your own growth by holding onto other people's baggage when you have your own to focus on. 🦋🌸

So rather than being afraid to disappoint them. Be with them through that process of pain. Cause that's the only thing that can help them better than trying to please them.🤍🌱

Something I heard this week:

It is not the thing we want that's going to bring us happiness. After we get the thing and we are no longer wanting- that's what brings us happiness. "The No Longer Wanting of it."

So once you no longer want something you are content and in that contentness there is happiness. 🌻

Once upon a time I tried cooking fish a certain way and it didn't come out the way I wanted it to. I first fried it in oil at high heat and it got stuck on the surface of the pan.😩

And my first thought was "well, it was probably because the heat was too much." 🥵🥵

And so the next time I tried frying it, I did it on low heat and still the fish got stuck to the pan and turn into little pieces. And I thought "maybe it's because of the pan I was using." 🍳🥘

So since that was the only type we had, I had to find a different way of cooking fish without it sticking to the bottom of the pan.(Of course I could've just roasted it in the oven but that takes too much time and more electricity)🕑⌛⚡

I wanted the easiest and quickest way possible. And so after going through a dew YouTube videos I came across a video where they the dish by first putting the tomatoes, garlic and onions and then putting the fish on top, that way it doesn't stick and it's easier to turn over. And so that's how I had been cooking fish for that entire time. 😇

Now a few days ago, my dad bought fish again. This fish looked different and so I decided to go back to frying it first and see if it would work and Lo and behold it worked!

It didn't stick to the pan and it was on high heat. No flour coating whatsoever. 🐟🐟

So now I was wondering what was different then and now and maybe it's because of the type of fish. Or the thickness of the skin.

Anyway the point of this story is about creativity. When we hear of people being creative, we sometimes think of artists, singers, actors etc. We never really see ourselves as creative unless we are doing artistic stuff like drawing, writing, painting or whatever. And so I remember reading somewhere about how being creative is in every living being. It's in our nature being creative. 🍥

Doing something a different way makes you a creative. Me deciding to cook that fish dish differently makes me creative. Deciding to take a different route home makes you creative.

Doing something different brings out a different outcome, sometimes something that we would've never imagined. And maybe by doing that you find a way of working that you weren't aware of.

Who would've thought my fish dishes would turn to smithereens. It tasted different, a nice different. Probably because of the texture. Would I intentionally cook it again? No.

But maybe if I was a chef looking to polish my culinary skills I would find a way to incorporate it into another dish where it creates the right flavour based on that texture.👨‍🍳🔪

And so doing something different might lead to new discoveries. So in what ways are you choosing to do things differently?🌱✨🌱

There are times when I want to apologize to my body.

Times when I choose to eat sweet and dry foods knowing they aren't good for my digestive system.

Times when I add another spoonful of sugar in my tea because it just doesn't taste sweet enough.

The times when I react and don't take the time to tune into my body and feel if I really want to eat something rather than eating just because everyone around me is eating.

There are times when I want to apologize to my body.

The times when I postpone my exercise because I don't feel like it even though it feels great when I move my body.

The times when I skip my daily walk even though I enjoy the smell of pine trees I pass along the way.

The times when I choose to listen to an additional podcast episode fully knowing in that moment my body just wants silence and stillness.

The times when I entertain the negative thoughts when there are ten other positive things I could focus on.

The times when I can choose to sit outside and listen to the birds rather than doomscroll on the socials.

There are times when I want to apologize to my body but I don't because what's the point of an apology without changed behaviour.

I am tired of wanting to apologize to my body because now I want to show my body it can trust me the way I've always trusted it.

I am tired of wanting to apologize to my body because now I am deciding to not be that person anymore.

I want to show my body I can be a good steward of this beautiful vessel.

Isn't it weird how at times we always wishing things were different. Like having a different job, being in a relationship with someone or living somewhere different. Ye when we look back there was once a time when we prayed to have what we have today. 🤲

At times we always wishing how nice it would be to have what that other person has. Not that it's a bad thing. But we never take the time to think what took them to get there or have that. We never take the time to think about about the pain or struggle that the other person had to endure to reach that outcome. What hard times they faced to finally get to the top of that mountain.🗻⛰️

So if you're going through a rough terrain right now, embrace that struggle because there's a lesson there. And eventually we'll reach the outcome we want.💯🤍

It's frustrating isn't it?

To have worked so hard and to only produce nothing.

To have to work so hard each day and only realise that what you've been working on hasn't been producing fruit

To see others achieving so much and you have nothing to show for it.

But you have to realise it was never about you and them.

It's always been you and you.

Maybe this phase is not about producing a certain outcome, maybe it's about just experimenting in order to get feedback.

Maybe this phase is only meant to last a year or two. So that you can see if what you've been pursuing was what you wanted or not.

Sometimes it's not about the outcome. It's about proving to yourself that you can do hard things. That you can be persistent and that you can be disciplined.

So how about just focusing on the joy of it. The parts of it you enjoy so much.

Like when you're eating your favourite meal. You don't only eat to satiate yourself but you also eat to enjoy it. To get that peak experience of savouring all the flavours and textures.

Ruts. Also known as one of those phases in life where you are just existing and not really living. Where you are just going through the exact same cycle day by day just to keep yourself alive. 😕

Where you have no idea what's next or don't know what you are working towards. The phase where it gets to the point where it feels like you're just being dragged by life.🫥😵😵‍💫

That's when you know you need some clarity. 💯

And sometimes clarity requires stillness. So slow down if you will.

Other times clarity requires silence and solitude. Take time away from external stimuli because you can't hear yourself if you always surrounded by outside noise. 📢📢

And as you start to slow down and be still eventually the answers will come.

Maybe in the form of a burst of inspiration. Or coming across that one thing you used to enjoy but left halfway cause you never had the time for it. Or maybe through meeting rekindling an old friendship. 🫂🫶🏼

Anyway.... you never really know what that one choice can bring you as long as it's bringing you closer to your true self.🌸💫