What Is It Like To Experience Freedom?

_Do you ever wonder?_

Do you ever wonder what your tomorrow will look like?

Will you still hear the birds squeak in the early mornings?

Will you still hear the sound of the wind in you ears?

Will you still enjoy the warmth of the sun's rays?

Will you still feel the air reaching deep into your lungs?

Will you still enjoy that one song that speaks to your soul.

Or would you have moved onto something new to enjoy?

One thing I've been insecure about for most of my life is my tummy. My fat tummy. Cause that's what it is - fat.

Most of the time, I suck it in to the point where people even compliment me on my "flat" stomach and in my head I'll be like "if only you knew"

Anyway, today I took a visit to the doctor and I was seated in the reception area, across from me sat a girl around me age wearing a crop top. That crop top was revealing her stomach. Her fat stomach but she wasn't even bothered at all. For her, it was completely normal.

And because of that experience I've began to fully accept this part of me. The stomach I don't see as nice. I've decided to accept my stomach for what it is.

I've decided to appreciate my stomach for all the digesting and detoxing that it has done for me.

I'm slowly learning to love my stomach by looking in the mirror and hugging it and also speaking positive affirmations and being grateful that I am healthy because of it.

I just heard someone say " whether you choose to follow your dreams or follow someone's dreams, you still suffer either way. So isn't better to do something worth suffering for?"

If all your deepest desires could come true, what would you start doing today to receive it?

Last night I came across a video on Instagram of this women who had decided to quit her job as a lawyer to be a barista. Which was a choice she was actually happy about. And so one day on the job one of her customers happened to be her ex - colleague who went on to ask : "do you work here now?" 👀

And she explained how in that moment she felt so ashamed and started thinking of ways to explain her situation in a way her ex-colleague could understand. Why she decided to work there and how happy that choice made her etc etc. 👣🗣️🙅‍♀️

*So this had me thinking about the courage it takes to go against the grain. The courage it takes to choose and take the path that feels true to you. The courage to be open to the criticism you will receive from people who might not understand you. The courage to choose authenticity every single time. It's not for the weak and if you're on this path, you have my respect. You owe it to yourself to see where this road will lead you.* ☘️🛣️

So yesterday I was watching this video whereby this content creator was speaking about how we should stop bringing the energy of decisions into making choices. She spoke about how people can't even make a simple choice because they are so focused the importance of it because their mind focuses on whether they are making the right or wrong decision. ❌✅

She gave an example of how you can make a choice to attend an event but after experiencing it you then make the decision to leave cause maybe it was boring.

So in order to decide, first make a choice, have the experience and make a decision.

So google says when making a choice we are given the freedom to explore alternatives and choose what will make us happy whereas when making a decision, we are presented with options whose outcomes have been predetermined. Choice connects us to our desired intentions, values and beliefs whereas decisions are connected to places of behaviour, performances and consequences.

I remember when I was still in primary, during athletics season - we had all these different activities that we could try. So we had a choice in choosing what activities to try but at the end of the day you had to make a decision as to which one you would join.

Obviously you make that decision after having experienced all the activities. So by making the decision, you now already know the predetermined outcome which is you coming to practice high jump or sprints for as long as you're part of the team.👟🎽

So with choices it's more experimental and with decisions it gets serious. So the point is stop bring that serious energy into something that's supposed to be a fun experience. Think of making a choice as tasting and making a decision as eating. 🍽️😋🍔

Ruts. Also known as one of those phases in life where you are just existing and not really living. Where you are just going through the exact same cycle day by day just to keep yourself alive. 😕

Where you have no idea what's next or don't know what you are working towards. The phase where it gets to the point where it feels like you're just being dragged by life.🫥😵😵‍💫

That's when you know you need some clarity. 💯

And sometimes clarity requires stillness. So slow down if you will.

Other times clarity requires silence and solitude. Take time away from external stimuli because you can't hear yourself if you always surrounded by outside noise. 📢📢

And as you start to slow down and be still eventually the answers will come.

Maybe in the form of a burst of inspiration. Or coming across that one thing you used to enjoy but left halfway cause you never had the time for it. Or maybe through meeting rekindling an old friendship. 🫂🫶🏼

Anyway.... you never really know what that one choice can bring you as long as it's bringing you closer to your true self.🌸💫

Self love letter

Dear Self

I often wondered what self love looked like or felt like and I think I am beginning to understand it.

To me, self love means having your own back, not just when everyone else has turned on you but at all times. It looks like trying one more time when it feels like you might even fail. Self love looks like showing up for that morning or evening exercise because you are grateful for what this beautiful body has done for you so you want to keep it healthy.

Self love looks like holding space for yourself when your emotions are all over the place. Allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel without judgement.

Self love means listening to when your body needs to slow down before you burn out. Taking the needed rest for it to come back stronger.

Self love looks like rewarding yourself for all the hardwork you've put in & for the days you chose to remain consistent even when it was so hard.

Self love looks like listening to music the whole day because that's what your soul needs at that moment.

Self love means saying no to things that don't bring you peace.

Self love means making sure that your cup is full - that way you have enough to be of help to others.

Self love means carving out time for being creative because your soul needs an outlet.

Self love means being aware of the things that make you tick and why it is so. It means giving yourself a pat on the back when you survived a situation you thought you wouldn't have.

Self love means pouring in yourself because you are the only person who's gonna live with you for the rest of your life. It means knowing yourself in a way that only you can.

Self love means loving on you because no one can ever love you the way you can. ❣️❣️

Once upon a time I tried cooking fish a certain way and it didn't come out the way I wanted it to. I first fried it in oil at high heat and it got stuck on the surface of the pan.😩

And my first thought was "well, it was probably because the heat was too much." 🥵🥵

And so the next time I tried frying it, I did it on low heat and still the fish got stuck to the pan and turn into little pieces. And I thought "maybe it's because of the pan I was using." 🍳🥘

So since that was the only type we had, I had to find a different way of cooking fish without it sticking to the bottom of the pan.(Of course I could've just roasted it in the oven but that takes too much time and more electricity)🕑⌛⚡

I wanted the easiest and quickest way possible. And so after going through a dew YouTube videos I came across a video where they the dish by first putting the tomatoes, garlic and onions and then putting the fish on top, that way it doesn't stick and it's easier to turn over. And so that's how I had been cooking fish for that entire time. 😇

Now a few days ago, my dad bought fish again. This fish looked different and so I decided to go back to frying it first and see if it would work and Lo and behold it worked!

It didn't stick to the pan and it was on high heat. No flour coating whatsoever. 🐟🐟

So now I was wondering what was different then and now and maybe it's because of the type of fish. Or the thickness of the skin.

Anyway the point of this story is about creativity. When we hear of people being creative, we sometimes think of artists, singers, actors etc. We never really see ourselves as creative unless we are doing artistic stuff like drawing, writing, painting or whatever. And so I remember reading somewhere about how being creative is in every living being. It's in our nature being creative. 🍥

Doing something a different way makes you a creative. Me deciding to cook that fish dish differently makes me creative. Deciding to take a different route home makes you creative.

Doing something different brings out a different outcome, sometimes something that we would've never imagined. And maybe by doing that you find a way of working that you weren't aware of.

Who would've thought my fish dishes would turn to smithereens. It tasted different, a nice different. Probably because of the texture. Would I intentionally cook it again? No.

But maybe if I was a chef looking to polish my culinary skills I would find a way to incorporate it into another dish where it creates the right flavour based on that texture.👨‍🍳🔪

And so doing something different might lead to new discoveries. So in what ways are you choosing to do things differently?🌱✨🌱

Lately I've been thinking about how language can sometimes be a curse - from the words we speak, even though these words have their own meanings, most of us don't even know how they came about but we just use them because that's the tool that is available to us.

Let's not even mention how words are sometimes so misused that they eventually mean nothing, especially when people don't even mean what they say.

I guess every tool has its advantages and disadvantages. I now understand why they say 'silence is divine' because it truly is. There is no misunderstanding or lies construed in silence - it just is. It's so pure, it can't be marred by lies, manipulations or ulterior motives. What a blessing silence is.