As A Vegetarian, “natural Unmeat” Is The Best Thing To Call Meat Substitutes.

me putting on a cute outfit: I understand you now, Niko

me spilling cherry juice on my cute outfit: I... truly understand you now, Niko

Fun fact: in the 80′s the Dutch Unemployed Union held ‘fridge raids’ to protest against poverty. 

They’d find out when a politician of big boss who upheld poverty and starvation wages was speaking at some public even, then they’d carefully break into his house with a LOT of people and they would eat EVERY piece of food in his house and leave the empty dished behind without taking anything else. 

I feel personally victimized that there was no option for gay AND European.

i'm founding a new school of media criticism which i've decided to call Bitism. the Bitist school of literary analysis asks a simple question: is this work committed to the bit?

you see, any work of fiction is either committed to the bit or it's not. the worst thing a piece of media can be is ashamed of its own premise, of the genre it in habits, of the tropes and aesthetics we expect from it. to be committed to the bit does not inherently make it good, but it makes it more worthy of respect than those which are not.

also, that's not to say that a story cannot parody or criticize the genre it inhabits or mimics. we can discuss the bit, we can deconstruct the bit, we can ask ourselves whether or not it's a good bit, but to commit to it first will strengthen these discussions, not detract from them. commitment to the bit is, after all, the first step to genuine sincerity. and sincerity will exalt and elevate parody such that it can stand on its own feet.

commitment to the bit turns melodrama into camp, elevates parody to biting commentary, and allows cringe to open up into a resonant, if unpolished, expression of true emotion.

fully expect bitism to take the literary world by storm sometime in the next few years.

Thank you for this, the typos really establish the tone well. Like no don’t fix those they’re part of the art

bravely fighting off the irge to post whicle sick with the flu cause I KNOWWWW Im just gonna say stupid shit BUT ☝️what if Suck lolll I mean what if sick-me says it better. What then

Dead Boy Detectives Watch Party today, by @/moonkailan on Twitter. You don't need to be on Twitter, it can be in any social media and "If you can't join, just KEEP WATCHING. EVERY VIEW COUNTS THIS WEEK!"

"Drink as much as you want

I'd like to join you but I don't drink ...wine."

I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.

Hey uhhh can you get me a drink im thirsty

(Slings the damp rag I’ve been using to wipe down the bar over my shoulder, dries hands on lil bartender apron) sure, what’ll you be having

Cameo week highlights, general info part 3

edwin misses the customs and the etiquette from his times

in early days edwin most likely kept interrupting charles and had to learn to listen, and charles was really messy and had to learn to keep the office tidy

charles would "be grossed out by edwin's first kiss since he now knows monty was a crow lol"

george said that charles would smell minty fresh and jayden said that edwin would smell like oak or wood or something nice and earthy if they had scents and could smell them

george says that the boys wouldn't get too festive around the holidays because they'd be too busy with work, but that edwin would get fascinated by the xmas lights

edwin's favorite food was roasted guinea fowl

in early days the boys went to the cinema a lot and watched detective movies, which was one of the things that sparked the idea of opening the agency together

the boys didn't really have that many big arguments over the years

edwin likes jazz and plays records in the office

in the musical ep there'd be a song called "what i did for love" sang by a drag queen (??)

the boys' wedding vows would include a "till the afterlife do us part" instead of "till death do us part"

if edwin found out charles kept checking up on his parents he would have been a little spooked by it and jealous but would definitely be able to get past it; charles kept it from him bc of what his family life was like and bc edwin has no family to check up on

s2 would have another animation (not a flashback this time)

george made up drag names for them - Charlie's Angel and Edwina Loose (not sure about the spelling but basically edWin orLose)