I'm Founding A New School Of Media Criticism Which I've Decided To Call Bitism. The Bitist School Of

we’re all boring to someone, annoying to someone, ugly to someone, but it’s not that deep

Selected Excerpts From The Fire Nation Royal Palace Servants' (Unofficial) Handbook

Or: Revisions To Normal Protocol After The Ascension Of Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko

1. Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko should not be referred to by his full titles and styles, no matter the context. This appears to annoy him. "Fire Lord Zuko" and "Lord Zuko" are acceptable, as well as "your majesty" and "my Lord".

1.1 "Lord Hotman", however, is unacceptable.

1.2. Even if the Avatar specifically requests you to address Fire Lord Zuko as that.

1.3. In fact, any attempts by the Avatar, the Lady Beifong, the honorable Tribesman Sokka or even Master Katara to get you to address Fire Lord Zuko by anything other than his proper title should be disregarded.

1.4. Referring to Ozai of the Fire Nation (titles rmvd, dishon.) as "The Loser Lord", however, is acceptable.

2. Fire Lord Zuko is aware of the concept of mortality, but does not seem to understand how it relates to His Majesty. Following activities should be discouraged: Free climbing, glider usage, contact with exotic animals larger than a turtleduck (or smaller, if the animal is known to be venomous), amateur theatre productions, cooking, sailing, spelunking, botany, please see full list in the Matron's office.

2.1. It should be noted that His Majesty's belief that mortality does not apply to him does not appear to be completely unfounded. After several "close calls", it has been decided that upon his demise, Fire Lord Zuko should lie in state for at least two weeks.

2.1.1. We do not want another incident.

3. The turtleducks in the Western Pond do not need to be fed by the servants any more.

3.1. However, the turtleducks should be rotated out at regular intervals in order to prevent overfeeding.

4. At any official social functions, at least three servants should be vigilant in case His Majesty tries to tell a joke.

4.1. It should be noted that there is no concern for His Majesty's jokes being offensive, crass or otherwise contrary to good taste. They are simply very bad. His Majesty always ends up embarrassed.

5. Any children left unattended in the Royal Palace for more than 15 degrees can be retrieved from the Fire Lord's office.

6. Should His Majesty go missing, the following places should be searched: roofs and any high places, cellars and secret passages, the fur of the Avatar's sky bison (which is surprisingly deep), and every place that an ordinary five-year-old would think to hide in during a game of "Hide and Explode."

6.1. All of the Imperial Firebenders as well as any soldier who wears a mask during the course of their duties should be questioned.

6.1.1. Important note: Some of the soldiers who are especially close to His Majesty can perform a passable imitation of him. Efforts should be made to prevent an uneducated soldier from, say, conducting a meeting with the Minister of Agriculture.

6.2. After the recent incident, that list is expanded to include the Kyoshi Warriors and any other groups that might wear concealing full face paint.

6.3. If all of these measures prove ineffective, a letter should be sent to The Dragon of the West, Prince Iroh, asking His Highness to return His Majesty.

6.4. If a ransom note is delivered, it should be immediately checked against the handwriting samples from the honorable Tribesman Sokka as well as Avatar Aang, before any other actions are taken.

6.4.1. Replying "Good luck, he's your problem now" to a ransom note is absolutely unacceptable.

6.4.1.1. To further drive home the point, the Royal Archives are required by law to preserve every single piece of royal correspondence. That thing will end up in a museum.

This handbook will be updated should it prove necessary.

CUTENESS AGGRESSION THE GIF

Why is there a section for Luffy?

No it’s not- you just have to get creative

I’m honestly shocked being human is a prerequisite here. Why can’t tumblr be horny for a rabbit, or even just horny for a rabbit’s personality?

I’m disappointed in us tumblr. Let bugs bunny be the tumblr sexy man he was always destined to be

Okay but consider:

A male character who is cocky and nonchalant, a flippant chaotic neutral bastard, who never really starts beef with anyone but if someone else starts it first, he will not hesitate to go all out balls deep into making sure he'll finish it. Tricksy, clever and charismatic, treating every conflict as a fun rivalry even if the enemy he's faced with is literally just flat-out trying to fucking kill him. While personally never killing an opponent - he's clever enough to evade them in a way that leaves himself unharmed, and the antagonist frustrated and humiliated and looking stupid the whole time they're doing it.

Depicted as somewhat slim and lanky, distinctly male but not in a brutish, hypermasculine way. Not exactly coded genderfluid but jumps at every opportunity to cross dress just for the fun of it, in a campy and flamboyant way, which by all rational sense shouldn't be attractive but somehow the man manages to make himself fuckable with the way he walks in heels. Not romantically or sexually attracted to men, but can, will, and has seduced men just to fuck with their heads. Has broken hearts this way.

So what I'm saying here is that if he was depicted as human, Tumblr would 100% be horny for Bugs Bunny.

I briefly read this as stairs instead of stars, and golly gee wouldn’t that be a fun world to live in? Just to be clear, you can look at those for free at night too. 

the fact that stars exist and we can look at them every single night for free just makes me go !!!!!!!!!!!!

THE IDEAS YOU RECEIVE FROM CHEESE CANNOT SAVE YOU

No. I don’t think I will reblog it this or any year

You can only reblog this today.

My idea for dbd season two:

Niko gets a pink gun

That’s it.