Me Putting On A Cute Outfit: I Understand You Now, Niko

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

THIS!

As an eight year old, I heard one song about how being an adult sucks, and had a full on crisis. For like.  Months. I was legit depressed abt only having a few more years to do all the cool kid stuff I wanted to do. (My eight year old brain deemed 13 as no longer a kid so the clock was TICKING)

It took me quite a while to realize I could still be cool after I grew up, and I would just have access to adult resources for my shenaniganary. How about we just don’t make children fear the passage of time. 

Hey btw please don't make jokes about being a "boring adult" or how adulthood is boring when you're around small kids. They'll believe you, and growing up with the idea that their final destination is as bleak as it is inevitable is not a healthy way to live. Even if they don't know it consciously, whenever they look at adults they are looking at their future. Like even if your life does suck, please don't frame it as just an inevitable part of being an adult.

If you know someone's kid whose interests and tastes are loud, shiny, sparkly and all over the place, and you're absolutely overwhelmed by being suddenly rapidly infodumped about a cartoon you had not heard of 30 seconds ago and about everything they've been getting into, and you're caught off-guard by them suddenly switching gears and askining you why you're still into the same things as you were a year ago, that aren't even that loud, sparkly and fun, please don't say something like

"Well when you're a boring adult you start to like boring things like that and then like those forever :)" Like don't fucking say that, they'll believe you. It doesn't make them feel fun and special to be told you think you're boring in comparison. They take their spark for granted and being told that they'll lose it one day is awful. And it's not even true!

It's far more truthful to tell them about how when you've been a grownup for long enough, you've had to the time to try all of the things and you know for sure which ones you like the most. And that's why it's so important that they also try everything, at least once, so that they'll know for sure whether they will or won't like it. Being a grownup isn't about giving up doing new fun things, it's about finding all the things you like so much that you never get bored of them.

Boldly claiming that you've done everything when you're not very worldly might seem dishonest, but a four-year-old can't tell the difference between a century and a decade. As far as they are concerned, their nearest neighbourhood is the whole universe, and you have been alive forever. Don't tell them the world is boring, and that being bored of it is inevitable.

The question is, is it worse if all the cars are locked/don’t work, or if all the cars are perfectly drivable, but there is nowhere to drive to, except more lot.

We need more scary infinite variants of manmade environments like the Infinite IKEA or the Backrooms.

May I suggest, The Lot:

Dead Boy Detectives Watch Party today, by @/moonkailan on Twitter. You don't need to be on Twitter, it can be in any social media and "If you can't join, just KEEP WATCHING. EVERY VIEW COUNTS THIS WEEK!"

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

I’m honestly shocked being human is a prerequisite here. Why can’t tumblr be horny for a rabbit, or even just horny for a rabbit’s personality?

I’m disappointed in us tumblr. Let bugs bunny be the tumblr sexy man he was always destined to be

Okay but consider:

A male character who is cocky and nonchalant, a flippant chaotic neutral bastard, who never really starts beef with anyone but if someone else starts it first, he will not hesitate to go all out balls deep into making sure he'll finish it. Tricksy, clever and charismatic, treating every conflict as a fun rivalry even if the enemy he's faced with is literally just flat-out trying to fucking kill him. While personally never killing an opponent - he's clever enough to evade them in a way that leaves himself unharmed, and the antagonist frustrated and humiliated and looking stupid the whole time they're doing it.

Depicted as somewhat slim and lanky, distinctly male but not in a brutish, hypermasculine way. Not exactly coded genderfluid but jumps at every opportunity to cross dress just for the fun of it, in a campy and flamboyant way, which by all rational sense shouldn't be attractive but somehow the man manages to make himself fuckable with the way he walks in heels. Not romantically or sexually attracted to men, but can, will, and has seduced men just to fuck with their heads. Has broken hearts this way.

So what I'm saying here is that if he was depicted as human, Tumblr would 100% be horny for Bugs Bunny.

🎵 maybe it will did turn out this time on the road to hell, on the railroad line 🎵

Operation Jet Set, the explosive cigar (twice)

I thought it would be badass to light my cigar off one of the lasers, died, and somehow thought it was the lasers, despite the autopsy saying “BOOBY TRAPPED CIGAR”. It took blowing up again to realize it was the cigar, and even then I thought “oh no someone’s trying to kill John Juniper”

what was your most embarrassing death in I Expect You To Die (any of the games) GO

Let's appreciate how complex Agatha's relationship with Billy is

GIF credit to @isagrimorie

The genuine emotion brimming from Agatha in this moment is very interesting and I really want to break down all the layers of how Agatha is relating to Billy—because it is truly not as simple as Agatha feeling sentimental or motherly to Billy.

There are a few layers at work here (and I also want to give a shout-out to @trickofthelights for her excellent recap points):

Billy reminds Agatha (enough) of herself

There are two driving forces at the core of Agatha as a character. We know this because her characterisation has been incredibly consistent throughout the show and Schaeffer has talked about them, which is: (a) Agatha is self-serving and (b) Agatha loves powerful witchcraft.

Billy is a powerful witch who did a horrifying thing in order to survive. He's been lying to these wonderful parents. He also just tried murdering three people in a fit of rage, provoked by Agatha no less.

Would Agatha care if he was less powerful? Would Agatha care if he didn't have a dark side? If he hadn't shown to be duplicitous and dangerous and subject to his darker impulses?

If he wasn't alone and without a coven, a possible outcast even among witches because of his unusual origins and power?

I'm pretty sure the answer is no, she would not. She would have dismissed him the same way she did his "Teen" persona. Agatha doesn't care about witches, Agatha cares about powerful witches –because that's who Agatha is and what drives her.

And we also got hints of this with Agatha and Wanda (hello consistent characterisation). In Schaeffer's words:

There is respect and almost affection inherent in [Agatha's interest in enormously powerful witchcraft], as indicated by how she felt about Wanda. She was mean to Wanda, but really she was fascinated by Wanda and admired her and wanted to hang out with her. 

And if this wasn't clear enough, what Agatha tells Billy shortly later about breaking the rules and being a true witch just screams projection (more on that in my next point).

I was delighted that Agatha really did bounce back from the attempted murder – but it's not because she's forgiving. Oh no, I think, Agatha was testing her theory by poking the bear (calculated move, bad at math) and she's glad she was proven right.

I mean, she not happy about the attempted murder but her curiosity wins out. You see her poking at Billy and trying to figure him out in the rest of this scene.

Agatha also hates self-righteous moralising and searches out for the darkness in people – delights in it even – because she knows people and she knows her own darkness.

Billy is different but also not so different from Agatha, as much as Billy or his mom would hate to admit.

Agatha is dealing with her childhood trauma

Yes, Agatha is projecting on Billy, but she makes a choice about it. We hear her telling him what she would have wanted someone to tell her: that they shouldn't be afraid or ashamed of who they are or what they did to survive, that they are part of a community.

Don't you dare feel guilty about your talent. ... That's what kept you alive. That's what makes you special. That's what makes you a witch.

She's trying to be the person she needed when she was a child, because she simply doesn't want someone else – particularly a younger witch – going through what she did.

She doesn't want anyone to go through what her mother put her through. And that's a choice.

Because there are a number of ways a character can deal with trauma: they can lash out and bring others down, wanting others to experience to the pain they went through, or they can realise that what happened to them shouldn't happen to anyone else in their position.

There's something beautifully self-serving but also selfless in that, because this is a way for Agatha to heal from her trauma. She can tell Billy things she may not be able to tell herself.

And it's interesting because as a self-serving villain, Agatha could just be jealous of Billy's power. But in this moment at least, Agatha's empathy and compassion – as buried as they usually are – prevail.

And yes, Agatha was fond of kid Billy

This is what Schaeffer touched on in her interview answer and it makes sense, with the insight that Agatha – like any good actor – does invest a bit of herself in every role she plays.

Agatha does have feelings (as much as they might make her vomit) and I do believe she has a soft spot when it comes to kids, given her experience with her son and her own childhood trauma. And that kids don't have the level of hypocrisy and darkness that adults do.

It makes sense that Agatha would have some level of care about the Scarlet Witch's magical kid Billy. And that is a fondness that has carried onto teenage Billy – who is powerful and a survivor and has a potential for darkness in a way she can relate to.

There are layers and they intersect and it all ties back to how Agatha is incredibly complex and yet consistent as a character.

Guys is he gonna become the Grinch but for Easter? Will he don a robo-bunny suit and steal all the eggs, then shoot Jesus just for good measure?

Reblog to make him lose another 200 billion, like to make him lose 1 billion