WHEN ON PERIOD:

this tweet genre is so fucking funny i need more of them

Me in the club

I wish the actual babies in the photos you traced for your CP would grow up strong enough to beat you to death in public to a cheering crowd, pedophile

Capitalist countries: *Invade and colonize the entire globe,take possession of the resources in Africa, South America and the Middle East*

A few countries: *Get independence* “We want to be socialist now.”

Capitalists: “That’s why you’re poor! Not because I stole all your resources, but because you want to switch to socialism! Now I’m going to embargo your countries and destabilize your governments to prove how wrong socialism is and how it doesn’t work!”

me ignoring my mutuals' cringe interests posting. let she without cringe cast the first stone.

i’m trying to spread her like a sheet .. hope i excel

incredible out of context screenshot

ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*