Fate-tumbles - Fate.streams

On learning to be happy

It's good because now I'm getting high on own cosmic body

You said you never want to listen to a tiny dancer even when it came on in the car because it made you cry because it reminded. Did you have the last best something in your life. Which I won't mention because I'm dealing with this in my own way but there's things I need to keep private because I know it's the right thing to do and because I'm going to get really annoyed if I slip up because I'm tired, not because I'm an asshole. Because I'm not the asshole.

And defining you remix with a lot of new people adding to something old which made it so much better, or at least reminded everyone why they love the song in the first place so much.

Because to him at the time that he released it, it was everything.

I'm sad I missed his farewell tour because now I know I relate more to his troubles than you ever could imagine. Like every other celebrity and musician you look up to so much.

I think you hate that I really to them so much now and such a closer way. Or at least to me. Because I've always felt that you were a little shallow unfortunately. But I loved you anyways because I'm a loving person and you gave me something that I didn't think I deserved. And worse than that I didn't think I can get it myself because I was such a loser in so many ways in my life that I wanted to improve that.

But couldn't because I had no accountability.

I am NOT going to go down screaming FOR A NAP TIME I DIDN'T ASK FOR when you wouldn't let me sleep while I literally lit'rally lichrally litrelly lighterally was trying to figure out how to speak and finally

#cheshtakoro

#thaphorkhaba

#youjusthadtobebengali

#but that's okay if you don't get the joke because even though you don't/didn't need to I'll still hang out with you because I'm nice like that

Because that's what it's all about

I am ESL so I can't always communicate in a way that many of you find come very naturally to you. And I'm genuinely admirable of my self on the way my brain protects itself

I don't know if this will work for me, but as a friend to you who only wants to help hoist you out of the abyss you thought you were in alone, one of you accidentally slips because neither of you work out, and then you're both in the hole with no way of coming

My favourite pieces are the ones where I KNOW for a fact that I'll look back on years later not remembering what prompt I gave myself, and then being able to show it to someone who's really important to me at ✨ that time and no other time✨ and then we can improvise what I *possibly* meant at the

FOOOOURRR

Threeee

TWwWWEOoo

Weeeuuuunnn #iloveeveryjuan

You've always played easy

And I've always been stuck on hard mode

I praised you so you would play with me

But you never wanted to #literally

Figuratively

Too literally

Filled my pockets and wallet

Drain my laughs and made me think who you really are

Was my savioir

More like sanguine

I'm drained babe. Wish you well. Sorry you forgot this fun fact about me.

I may not be a doctor or have as many letters as my doctor or YOU

But men oh men

You both done diddly squat in it now on your own volition

Teabagging your own shit pretending like you shot me

I was always a better sniper/mage-type

You always chose different types

I played to my strength

"You're not supposed to play as yourself in games, you're supposed to play as who you wanna be cos it's your wonderland."

Guess what motherfucker,

I guess I want to be myself because I'm on my own fucking hero, the fantasy wasn't the person, the fantasy was all the stuff I could make and do in the game because I always knew the fastest and best and quickest way to get to the top, kill the bosses in a few hits and then start playing all over again and hard mode immediately.

That's me.

Right now I've seen the true you, and I wish it wasn't so. But I had to give up eggs for a reason, and Thank God I finally thought I could do it and follow through. And took accountability. Without trying to be too obnoxious of a vegan because I wasn't perfect but trying to be perfect because my vegan friend meant so much to me.

Nothing meant anything to you, Burr.

Your only consistent principle (The thing that you kept getting between us, I'm not going to say letting because if I didn't want it there it would not be there, I didn't because I cared about you and you couldn't communicate like me. But I still wanted to try talking language even though you were drifting apart for so long bracket). Thing was this whole time. I thought you were the one holding me up .

Just like I looked at the abyss wrong - upside down - and darker than I remember because I've been there so many times before.

(maybe because of you?)

I don't want to believe it.

Because you're a good man

You just continued this long enough to see yourself become my villain.

I told you the ball is in your court

You were standing up for yourself to the side facing away and hoping that people would sorted out themselves because you didn't want to deal with it. Because you didn't want to cuz you were too busy and important trying to run the world, but because

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https://www.convertbinary.com

It ain't easy being me.

You'll find someone to cherish you one day like this too 🌚🌝

#LIVESTREAM

I just spent almost 2 hours writing what I thought would be one of my most favorite picture essays ever. And it had music and quotes and God knows what else in it.

Because I'll never know, because you'll never know, because Tumblr fucked up and it crash and didn't end up saving the draft. Or at least I couldn't find it.

But I came up with that idea and all my thoughts on it on the spot. And even in the raw form I felt like it represented me enough to share it because I knew the people who got it, would get it. Because I used too many references and layers, and some people can't fuck with onions.

And sometimes I start cutting my peppers instead because they feel more important at the time because that's how my brain used to work. But now I'm making it my bitch, since I know I'll always go back to the onions because I started there already. It's just not the right time for me to cut them now.

But I am capable of everything. And it's scaring me. Because now I want to live since I have so much to do, I'm wondering how I'll ever have enough time.

After my three car accidents for various reasons, I have been telling my family that I will eventually die in a car crash. But there is a reason why I didn't yet. And depending on what car I was driving and what I was doing to pay for it however much I could, I was either so grateful to survive or so. Despondent to think that it couldn't have been so easy.

I've never had a threat of suicide because I've always been too fucking chicken to actually do it myself. I've always tried, but I know half heartedly even though I thought I meant it. Because I wanted to give myself a chance to live.

Since I don't post anything to social media anymore, I didn't have anyone to bear witness, and I like that just fine.

Because I do it all baby. I can't box myself into a dating profile, but professionals and personals are supposed to know everything they know about me through my Instagram as you may?

No. To really understand why I'm about to commit seppuku is not because you're a fucking moron. Throwing yourself on someone else's sword. And inviting yourself to someone else's war on purpose than getting mad because you didn't research your tour guides enough and they let you astray. #thats ultra maga lame tbh #so sorry #hard knock life 🎻🎻🎻

You have access to my auto updating resume, and you might want me on your team because I'm a hard fucking worker. But you're too scared to even look because you know I'm going to come for your job as well too.

But you don't know that I never would because I'd be pushing you to succeed even more than me so I could succeed in my own ways. # we are not the same # thank glob # mutations rule # X-Men #freaksgive #beats

I'm already going to put competition, not collaboration, and I'm the fucking Capricorn on my merch so don't even think about it. I have receipts. And Tumblr always has my back.

And I finally know why they scream witness me before they throw themselves into oblivion. Because at that moment, they're falling into oblivion thinking they're doing what that gross dude at the top of the mountain was doing in Furry Road #funtypo #feelscute #maydelete #later but #enjoying #reading it #now #sothatcanbeenough #for me and #me only

Because he had the biggest balls and access to all the water and raped every single woman and child he made and came across. Doesn't seem like the guy I want to look up to. Even though he's put himself on the highest peak. Like I said, it's all about #perspective. Sorry I figured out the ultimate cheat code to my life and you haven't yet, but it took me a while. And I'm willing to help. Because I'm great at tech and video games and cheat codes and perma death, and whatever you're going to need in the situation because I'm also a gamer.

I'm better than you now but I've seen you succeed and outrun me every single time. And instead of getting upset, I finally get off the couch and run after you because it's fun to see if I can actually get you. Because friendly competition can exist. Because I can insult you and love you at the same time. Because you can't put me in a Venn diagram even if that's all you see your life as. Because I used to, and I used to force my thoughts into boxes. But now I'm following my thoughts and letting me take them where they lead.

Rolling Stone

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I don't have the time to Google it for you, but I believe in you kid. You have what it takes, you just have to believe in yourself.

Thanks my brother for sharing something. I would have never come across because I don't read shit like the rolling Stone anymore, but sometimes they finally decide to feature someone no matter if on the cover or in a bylog that makes me scream loudly. Because to me and my world and my view in my experiences and the only world I know where I know I always try to tread lightly and sometimes I step on a few caterpillars but that's not because I hate them because they're kind of grossing with Wrigley and spiky sometimes.

I don't understand why people can believe that I can hit two deer by accident and almost God knows what could have happened to Vic and myself, and that I spent my entire night crying for it. Not because I got caught, because I call the police because I knew I had no other choice. And Vick and I were terrified the entire time because we were in upstate New York at 10:00 p.m. in the middle of nowhere on the side of a field.

This is America, can't catch me slipping up. I've been called out for being born in Saudi Arabia, I didn't know I had a choice in that matter. Sometimes because I thought if I had a choice I wouldn't be here at all, so you were probably right to question me about that to begin with. How fucking dare you? I was 14 years old traveling alone on a Greyhound bus for 4-9 hours by myself just so I could visit my sister who meant everything to me. We couldn't live together because our pads have to cross differently because we didn't have all the options that so many people do. But we still loved our lives, and we still love it. Now. She is still my best friend and my second mother, and probably the closest person to me other than Domino's. And Vick obviously, but if you have a sister or have some sort of a bond with anyone with any sort of feminine energy in your life, you know what that maternal nurture instinct can do to you when it's not kicking out of the house for being different.

If you build it, they will come.

And if they don't, at least you can pay some tricksters (read: marketing folkx 😏) to make them think they WANT to come here like it was their OWN idea.