It Ain't Easy Being Me.

I know I leave myself breadcrumbs so I can find myself when we're lost in the woods because you never ask for directions to the Owl House

Also putting this here because you said you wouldn't read it and I have so many things I want to say to you out loud but I can't so the internet is as loud as I can get without saying anything to you directly.

If you do read any of this, know that you do it knowing full well that you told me that you will refuse to participate or be in any of my work or my art moving forward especially If it had to do with recording you.

Because people would understand why you were also confused as to why I didn't see who you really were?

Because I can clock every humans, passions, insecurities, fears and loves and indifference most, within 5 minutes of meeting them because I can repeat people like a book.

And people are transparent like atoms so it either feels like light reading or an audiobook iTune out of.

You hardly know it's there. But it's buzzing in your ear telling you these horrible stories anyways. But also saying how much you love these horrible stories and that's why you're sharing them because you are a horror fan bitch and you know it. And that will get you through the next little while and make you even funnier to yourself. Because you always know how to pull back on references and do callbacks.

It's not your fault. You're big. Picture is a magic eye photo made of tiny little things. Where are you supposed to squint and look at a certain wind? Make really stupid faces to figure it out. But it's still fun and you end up laughing cuz once you do figure it out you realize how cool it is.

My brother made fun of me for not doing it when I was around 6 years old. Because it was something my dad and him enjoyed doing together so much, and he always act like he enjoyed keeping that secret relationship and treat with my dad which really bothered me.

He would also tell me that my mom wasn't my own mom and was only his mom and it would make me cry so hard that I would scream and turn around and we used to laugh at it when we got older but.

Just like every nanosecond has context. Even if you can't see it, I can. And when I'm calling you out it's not because I care about you, but more because I care about you enough to tell the truth. And for the people who I don't talk to, that should be your answer right there.

I'm showing off how much I can write here if I'm inspired, and I'm actually looking forward to moving on to something else cuz I have so many other things I want to think about before this happened.

Adios

I always thought I wanted to be the energizer bunny

Because I forgot I could always bigly outdick energy all over my "haterz" lol.

Just didn't think I'd have to use that horrible joke on you. But I guess you inspired it. So jokes on me. Just like you are. But I'm washing you off silently in my own stream away from this horrible city that you love more than me.

And now I won't feel crazy telling that to people because they'll just keep her reminding me of all the things you've bought me and all the things you've helped me do, because that's true. But it's also true that I was not for the last 5 years even though I thought I was the happiest and I was in a way because I was closest to my happiness than I'd been in a long time.

Just like you were to this but I never let you push my button

Because even though I hated the world, there were too many people and things in it even though I hate people and prefer animals. As we all know, I just have to make sure everyone knows again because that has never changed and never will sorry because people suck please read previous posts for contacts because I'm done giving it without people asking. Because they're going to think what they think. Anyways, and I'll never be able to cover every atom of my thought. Because every time I try people call me manic which is so funny to me because it makes them feel so small to me. I love it.

In the best part is I can't even help myself

But you push the button first. You've been created it. I just didn't see what you were doing behind my back. Because I trusted you so much, I gave you my fleshiest bits. Like cats. That's why they're the best. Because you can actually trust them. Because you can't trust them. And we both know that. At least now you do too.

Which side is worth saving first?

Moving forward: Will continue trying to be mindful of my footprint moving forward as I start on this new journey.

You made me, called me pretty, and then planted me six feet under.

I'm finally ready to explode.

# Yes, I Muslim # but this is not a bomb joke

# It's just about revolution

# no I swear that's not bad either

# because it actually doesn't concern you for once!

# we're just doing it for ourselves