Research
Hotwife Lifestyle - One BIG Potential Problem and How to Avoid It
Many of the problems with the hotwife lifestyle come down to the differences in the ways men and women think. Never underestimate the magnitude of the task ahead of you if you want to get your wife or girlfriend to cuckold you. The trick isn’t just to get her to have hot sex with other guys but also to STAY emotionally faithful to you AND involve you to whatever extent you want to be involved. ….
Hotwife Advice for Women
think women tend to get a raw deal when it comes to finding advice on being a hotwife. It’s true there’s lots of information out there on the topic, but most of it is written by men for men; and the material that is written by women seems to be more about what they get up to rather than how to make it work. In other words, it’s also written for men. ….
The Hotwife Lifestyle for Beginners
The hotwife lifestyle appeals to many men and women of an open-minded nature who have a strong relationship and wish to explore beyond the horizons of traditional sexuality in regard to marriage and monogamy. …..
Hotwifing and the Four Stages of Cuckolding
Almost every marriage where cuckolding becomes the norm passes through these stages, and it’s important to realise they are entirely natural and normal.
The Ultimate Hotwife Lifestyle
What many men – and even fewer women – realize when they first start taking the idea of hotwifing and cuckolding as a serious possibility for them, is they are subtly changing the dynamic of their relationship and setting themselves up for a true lifestyle change. ….
How To Start Hotwifing
The question of how to start hotwifing is not as simple to answer as you might think. Or, rather, there is a simple answer but it’s not a very useful one: “just go out and fuck another man, dear”. Alas, that’s a recipe for disaster. …
How Does Hotwifing Enhance a Relationship?
At first glance, it would seem ‘obvious’ that hotwifing or cuckolding – where a woman has sex with men other than her husband, but with her husband’s knowledge, consent and often at his urging – would be disastrous for any marriage, no matter how strong. But this is far from the truth, as you’ll see in this article…..
How Often Should Your Hotwife Play?
This is a topic for more advanced couples who are currently living the hotwife lifestyle or have definitely decided to “do it” – and now they’re just working out the details. And one detail that’s really important to work out properly and in advance is how often should your hotwife play?….
Cuckolding: Three Things Cuckolded Husbands Love The Most
There are many surprising benefits to being cuckolded for husbands, in terms of an enhanced relationship and, in a seeming paradox, a better sex life. But out of all of them three stand head and shoulders above the rest in terms of their ability to delight and excite the man whose wife has one or more lovers. We look at them in detail in this article….
Why Cuckolding Makes for a Happy and Fun Marriage
Why cuckolding is so popular a fantasy for men is a fascinating topic, and one it’s worth understanding before you take even your first, tentative steps into the hot wife and cuckolding lifestyle. So in this article we’ll look at why men have the cuckolding fantasy so often, and why the cuckolding hotwife lifestyle is so much fun for both of you….
Hotwifing - 3 Ways to Do It Successfully
This is perhaps the best choice of all, especially for couples are new to the hotwife lifestyle. In this article I share with you three simple choices for couples new to the hotwife lifestyle….
Hotwife Tips - 3 Hot Secrets for Ultimate Hotwife Pleasure
So, you’ve confessed your desires to your wife – you want her to have sex with other men – she’s agreed in principle, so now… how is it all going to work? So to give you a nudge in what I hope is a hopeful direction, here are three simple scenarios for couples new to hotwiving (you can also use these as ideas when first introducing your wife to the idea of getting into the lifestyle)….
The Ultimate Hotwife Night
The hotwife or cuckolding fantasy is a very popular one for men, but even though they think about it often, it’s rare they actually think about it very deeply. And the problem with this is the things you need to do to make the hotwife lifestyle appeal to your wife means sitting down and thinking about it a little more deeply than you have been doing – simply because when it comes to these things, men and women have a very different approach. That’s what we explore in this article…..
Can Hotwife Marriages Really Work?
It’s a fact that hotwifing is a very, very common male fantasy. Why this is so is open to debate, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s true…..
Hotwifing Benefits - Three Reasons Hotwifes Have Better Marriages
Odd as it may seem the hotwifing benefits you’ll experience if you can get your wife to take the plunge into the cuckolding lifestyle far outweigh the risks and disadvantages (with one proviso: hotwiving is for couples whose relationship is good but they want to improve it; if your relationship is already sexless and broken, then hotwiving will make things a lot worse). Discover here three HUGE benefits to the hotwife lifestyle…..
Hotwife Rules - 3 Tips to Successful Hotwifing
Hotwife rules won’t mean much to you if you’re in the minority of cases where the lifestyle is part of a wider female-dominated relationship where the only rule seems to be “she can do what she likes”. But for the majority, those who see hotwiving as being something to deepen and enhance a relationship of equals there are three rules you must follow…..
Hotwifing - Is It Wrong?
Hotwifing is an emotive subject with a lot of strong opinions held on both sides of the argument. But, the fundamental question is: Is Hotwifing Wrong? Unfortunately there’s no answer anyone can give and relieve the individual of answering the question for him- or herself…..
Hotwiving and What Your Wife Wants From It
The biggest mistake men make when they try to get their wives interested in hotwiving, is blundering in without giving a moment’s thought to what they’re trying to achieve. I mean, yes, they know what their goal is, but that’s the problem. They’re focused on it like a greyhound chasing a rabbit and are blind to all else – including the mess they’re making of things! In this sort article you will uncover the big shift in your thinking you need to make if you want your wife to become the dream Hotwife you crave….
How Does a Hotwife Pick Up a Lover?
The answer to the question, “how does a hotwife pick up a lover” must be… “very carefully!” But joking aside, in this short article you will discover three tips to selecting the right man to become your wife’s lover…..
How to Get Your Husband to Agree to a Hotwife Lifestyle
Usually, it’s the man who drives the hotwife lifestyle and then as his wife become more comfortable with it and realises he’s not going to ‘freak out’ at her seeing other men, she tends to become more outgoing and provocative. And, of course, men love this. But what about when it’s the wife who harbours the initial desire? In this short article you will discover some simple tips for women seeking to persuade their men to let them off the leash! …..
How Many Wives Would Like to Hotwife?
Since infidelity is the last big taboo, how many wives would like to hotwife? And it seems like a reasonable thing to ask since even though it’s a very common male fantasy, it seems women are turned off by the whole idea (but the truth I reveal in this short article will surprise you).,,,,,
Why Cuckolding Is Not the Same As an Affair
Cuckolding is NOT the same as having an affair, despite most people thinking it is. The crucial difference is one is done with the full knowledge, consent, and even approval of the husband, while the other is not. Discover the difference between cuckolding and affairs and finally uncover the truth about the delicious cuckolding lifestyle…….
The Hotwife Lifestyle - 3 Secrets to Make It Work!
For many couples the Hotwife lifestyle is a marriage saver - something you might find counterintuitive considering the pain, anguish and trouble infidelity typically causes in a marriage. But the hotwife lifestyle is different and can in fact bring couples closer together. In this short article you will discover the plain truth about the hotwife lifestyle…..
When I introduced my wife to the idea of locking me up in a male chastity device, she was hesitant because she thought it was perverted, but she went along for my sake. That was then. Now, her mind has changed after locking me up for a week and wearing the key to work on her necklace; after giving me nothing but teasing all week while requiring me to give her head every day until she has mind-blowing orgasms; after giving me a list of chores every day and demanding (not asking) that I do them; and after a week of me doting on her like she has never known in our 16-year marriage (even when I was trying to woo her to marry me during our courtship), jumping to do her will immediately after her every command, and even begging her to allow me to do more to please her. Now she says of my chastity device "I love it! I would gladly have paid five times what they charged us. " Now, when I suggested that, since the week trial was over, she probably would choose to lock me up only on special occasions, rather than every day, she replied (with a sinister look on her face), "I don't know about that. You need to know that I have REALLY enjoyed how things went this past week..." This morning, when I asked if she was going to lock me up again this week, she grinned a sly grin and said "yes." Guess who's relationship just changed forever?...
As I wrote in my previous post, after more than a decade of mutual fantasy and her saying she was not ready and would probably never be ready, my wife suddenly decided that she was going to cuckold me with a guy from work. I’m incredibly turned on by this, of course, but I really was not prepared for the full impact of the emotions I’m now dealing with daily. My heart has been racing and I’ve been short of breath for going on 2 1/2 days now. That has to calm down at some point, right?
Also, in addition to the positive emotions like loving, adoring, and worshipping her like never before and being turned on like I’ve never experienced before, I’m also feeling like I’m not getting enough from her because her emotional intensity level isn’t matching mine. So I worry a little about losing her. Somehow, I need her to make it known to me that I am still special to her, that I am still her #1 in some manner, that we have something that no one else can ever have with her.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. I don’t really have words for the emotional roller coaster I am on. And she hasn’t even cuckolded me, yet! Just some pretty direct flirting via text messages. But she has assured me that she intends to suck his cock this week. Furthermore, she told me flat out tonight that he will definitely not be the only other guy she fucks. So she is past the point of no return. She wants it, and she’s going to get what she wants. Batten down the hatches and get ready for the ride!
Anyone with some advice or experience to relate, I’d love to hear it. Send me an email or chat. Thanks.
Beyond a fetish or kink - a paradigm of romantic partnership for the modern age.
Life-changing paradigm shift.
Alright, lets destroy the taboo surrounding cuckolding once and for all. Are you ready? Get ready, because when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. When it comes to cuckolding, you have to see it for what it is, rather than what you think it is. In other words, you have to see it, from a perspective, that doesn’t personally involve you, even if you’re the one being cuckolded. There’s a submission in that, a surrendering, and it’s that surrendering that makes cuckolding an incredible experience, compared to a betrayal of trust, or neglect, or envy, or jealousy.
First of all, cuckolding is not required to have a successful, happy, and wonderful female led relationship. Many don’t need it, nor want it. However, many could benefit from it, if they examined why they don’t want it. So in the end, it really boils down to if cuckolding is in alignment with you both as a couple, or not, and whether or not, you can get in alignment with it.
Cuckolding is often something that is worked toward as the relationship progresses, as each partner becomes more confident in their role as dominant and submissive, cuckolding is just the next natural step to take. Sometimes it comes easier, or even, occurs early on, so this does vary per couple, but as a general rule, it’s something that is evolved toward.
The reason for this, is because it really does require a lot of inner work in both partners. The inner work of becoming dominant and submissive, requires a change in mindset, it requires letting go of what doesn’t serve you anymore. A dominant cannot hang onto insecurity and be fully dominant. A submissive can’t truly submit without giving up control. You see, this inner work, changes mindsets as the relationship evolves. At first it’s the overcoming of some inhibitions, while keeping others.
Then this gradually evolves into slightly more into letting go of inhibitions, a little more experimental, a little more exploring. A little more intense D/s dynamic. What was once fun, has become the expectation. It’s great to lock him up in chastity, for 3 days, it’s a lot of fun, but now he’s expected to be locked up for a week at a time, without complaint. There is inner work happening automatically to respond to the D/s dynamic. She becomes a little more dominant in time, and he becomes a little more submissive in time. Less inhibitions, more power exchange.
So naturally, it gets to a point where she has discovered that keeping him denied and very horny, is the best place to keep him, all of the time. That if she decides to let him have a release, it’s for her entertainment, and not his need. So often, she finds that intercourse is just something he can’t give her anymore, or very often, because it takes him out of the obedient state she wants him to be in. She doesn’t want to wait for that obedient state to build back up again, she wants to just keep him there, because that’s where he best serves her. She discovers, its up to her, if she wants him out of that state or not.
So now the dilemma of intercourse comes along, and sure, she can make him use a strap on, or a face dildo, and have him pretend to be good at the rough sex she craves from time to time, and this can work maybe beautifully. It serves to tease him and keep him denied, she cums, and it brings them closer together in the D/s dynamic. He loves providing her pleasure, and being kept denied for her.
Yet, it’s still often not as good as the real thing. Not only that, but as her confidence increased as she becomes more dominant, she’s going to naturally be more attractive to the men in the world. She’s going to be getting male attention, and as she becomes more and more dominant, she’s going to realize that her submissive has no say in her sex life if she doesn’t want him to have a say.
A submissive, having done the inner work, will eventually come to the same conclusion if he hasn’t already. He knows her sex life has nothing to do with him, and he wants to make sure she is pleasured. Many submissives find the idea is very hot, and encourage their dominant to cuckold them. However, if they haven’t done the inner work, they’re going to find that when she actually follows through on it, he feels neglected by her. Or jealous of her lover. If the inner work hasn’t been done, cuckolding can wreak havoc on the relationship.
The idea that she could do it, when he really only loved the fantasy of it. The reality hits him like a truck. He either does the inner work because of that, or it ruins him and his relationship to her, feeling betrayed. On the flip side, she may feel guilty for having done it, and when that’s combined with his feelings of betray, look out, it’s likely a relationship ender. And it’s all because the inner work wasn’t done in either of them, they’ve now encountered friction on a level beyond their capability to cope.
This is why cuckolding should never be rushed, and should be adequately communicated about with each other. There should be no secrets between each other, all fantasies and all fetishes, and all feelings, should be on the table in plain view, at all times. When she gets the urge to cuckold him because some cute guy hit on her at the gym, she should be able to go home and tell her submissive about it, just to gauge his reaction. Which should be an honest reply of how he really feels about it.
During the discovery of the D/s dynamic and the letting go of inhibitions there are often key points where each partner has their own epiphany, the epiphany that this is really happening, that he is hers. A sense of belonging, or a sense of ownership. It’s just a point in which, that level of D/s dynamic has become the new normal. That there’s no going back. Many couples experience many gradual epiphanies, but there comes a point where there’s an epiphany of epiphanies. It’s the point where, the D/s dynamic is who they truly are. It’s the epiphany of freedom to be dominant, and freedom to be submissive. The becoming dominant and submissive to each other is over, they have become dominant and submissive to each other.
It’s the point at which, his dedication to her never wavers, and she knows she is free to do anything she pleases without the fear that he would ever leave her. This doesn’t include abuse, abuse is always a deal breaker. However within the framework of the D/s dynamic, he is hers, and she controls both their lives. Which means, she gets to act single, if she wishes, when she is out and about. Her submissive, knowing he belongs to her, wants her to fully be herself, and if that means finding a lover, to make up for the sex he’s no longer allowed to give her, or perhaps never could, then he’s all for it. Her pleasure, is his pleasure, and he wants that for her. He encourages that for her. He may help her accomplish it, if she wants him to.
Cuckolding can become this very intimate thing, that takes the D/s dynamic to the next level. She may have him get her ready for dates, picking out a cute outfit, or driving her to her date. He may help her get ready for the date, shaving her legs, after bathing her. The fantasy of the cuckolding can become a very intimate experience and bring them very close together. He is excited for her and happy she’s confident enough to truly get what she wants.
Cuckolding can start out gradually like all other things, and build up to more and more involvement for her submissive. Maybe he’s at home while she’s out at her lovers hotel room and she comes home the next day to tell him about it. Maybe it then graduates to her inviting her lover to her house. Maybe her cuckold is in the same room, maybe not. There’s any number of ways and ideas that can be explored through cuckolding and that’s dependent upon what she wants.
After the fact, her submissive is eager to hear the detail, he’s eager to support her, and make sure she doesn’t feel guilty about it. He feels owned and in complete bliss knowing she comes home to him. That he is hers, and she cuddles him afterward. He loves her through allowing her to come back to him. That she is free, and she loves him because of that freedom. He is her rock. He is the one she trusts more than anyone in the world. Nothing can replace him. Cuckolding can bring about that realization. He has nothing to do with her sex life, yet everything to do with it. Which is exactly what submission is.
It’s the knowing that he is where he belongs, and that belonging can’t have attachments to outcomes. Because an attachment to an outcome, is an attempt to control. He gets the outcome she wants him to have. He doesn’t get a say in that but she must know his limits.
That’s the beauty of the D/s dynamic it’s designed to discover those limits. A lot of what people think are limits, are just inhibitions that can be overcome in time, with inner work. Some of them can’t be, and if there truly is no inner work to be done, and the resistance to the idea is that strong that it repulses you, then that’s the limit. But if there’s any question at all, any inkling that may not be the case, that needs to be communication, because there’s inner work there, that can be done.
If that inner work is done with cuckolding, it really does open up a whole new world to the D/s dynamic, and the possibilities that can be explored together. Those possibilities can never be understood, until they’re already available. You have to become a cuckold couple, to understand that. Everything else is fantasy that can’t become reality, or a turn off that is loyal to monogamy.
Many people are enslaved by the idea of monogamy, but when they discover it’s simply a social construct designed to keep people limited because sexual expression is shunned, they want to free themselves. Others, make it a choice, and when it’s a choice, it’s perfectly okay. There is nothing wrong with being monogamous. But you have to ask yourself, is it you making the choice, or is it society making the choice for you? If it’s society making the choice for you, then you have to understand, that you were never given the option. “ A bird that’s lived it’s whole life in a cage, thinks flying is an illness.”
Cuckolding is not cheating, rather, It is a direct result of the unfolding of natural female desire. Where she understands that monogamy was just another instilled taboo to control her. She realizes she can have the best of both worlds, having an attentive submissive to cater to her sensual sexual nature, to provide her with everything she wants, and a lover to give her the sex she craves, liberating her to explore her sexuality beyond her wildest dreams. Which means, since she gets the best of both worlds, her submissive does to, because he belongs to her, and her pleasure is his pleasure, her happiness, his happiness. They both get the best of both worlds, because neither of them, want it to be any other way.
Want to understand the world of female led relationships? Check out my book series Practical FLR Volumes 1-3
Learn the secret, ladies...
You will get a lot more pleasure in any way you want, and he will be stuck in a state of arousal that keeps him addicted to you more then he could have been before, he will do more chores, he will be more attentive, passionate, loving, last longer, be eager to please you, and will never cheat.
> Top 10 chastity / Forced denial benefits <
I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.
If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.
Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.
Websites:
Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.
Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.
DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.
Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.
Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.
Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.
Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.
The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.
Dating and Relationships:
10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)
Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)
Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)
How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)
Play:
Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)
Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)
How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)
Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)
Safety:
Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)
Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)
Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)
Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)
S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)
Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:
BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)
BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)
Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)
If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)
What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Sub Drop and Aftercare:
Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)
Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)
Dominance and Dominants:
7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dominant (Source: sunnymegatron.com)
A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)
Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: hisdarlinggirl.tumblr.com)
An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)
Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)
Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)
Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)
How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)
What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)
What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Submission and Submissives:
10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)
A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)
Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)
Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)
Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)
Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)
Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)
What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)
Books:
BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer
Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison
Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison
Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison
Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs
Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams
Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel
Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel
Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel
Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel
Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon
SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
The Control Book by Peter Masters
The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren
The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino
This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters
Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker
What every man needs to know. Pleasing a woman is your JOB, dude! Take pride in it. Get it right!
What’s one thing you wish guy did while he was going down ?
Might need this sometime...
I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.
If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.
Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.
Websites:
Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.
Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.
DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.
Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.
Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.
Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.
Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.
The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.
Dating and Relationships:
10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)
Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)
Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)
How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)
Play:
Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)
Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)
How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)
Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)
Safety:
Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)
Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)
Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)
Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)
S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)
Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:
BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)
BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)
Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)
If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)
What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Sub Drop and Aftercare:
Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)
Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)
Dominance and Dominants:
A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)
Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: cherhatton.tumblr.com)
An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)
Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)
Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)
Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)
How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)
What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)
What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Submission and Submissives:
10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)
A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)
Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)
Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)
Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)
Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)
Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)
What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)
Books:
BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer
Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison
Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison
Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison
Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs
Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams
Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel
Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel
Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel
Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel
Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon
SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
The Control Book by Peter Masters
The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren
The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino
This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters
Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker
My wife and I enjoy a cuckold-hotwife relationship. Cucks and especially hotwives & bulls are welcome to contact us. Meetup is possible if you live in Northern California.
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