if i had a dollar for every stolen glance we’ve shared i believe id be a multi millionaire.
people tell me i will survive. that i won’t be able to remember this one day. that i will get over it. and maybe i will. but i will not forget. my blood, and my bones, and my cells, and my sprint won’t let me. they will never let me recover from you.
two years ago i worshipped the man i thought you were. thank god i am off my knees now.
everything is green again. like the earth is taking its first deep breath since the winter.
i’m suffering. sinking into the furthest depths of misery. and yet it feels holy.
when you come home and hold me, my anger and rage is soothed, and i am not a mad woman, but i am your happy wife.
i can tell he’s mine because he whispers my name every night just before he falls asleep.
no one has ever told me how similar grief is to falling in love. a numbness so absolute i can’t tell if i’m at the highest high or the lowest low.
the rage in me has made my humanity scarce. i will not be quiet about it.
i look forward to the darkness and the quiet. even though i am scared of it, that is the only time i feel something.