two years ago i worshipped the man i thought you were. thank god i am off my knees now.
i’ll pray to little orange bottles or stuffy waiting rooms if it meant you would just get better.
the rage in me has made my humanity scarce. i will not be quiet about it.
today i watched a video from my ring camera of you smashing my potted plants. the ones you gave me.
why am i judged for wanting a husband? i don’t want to settle and have ten children, i just want someone who loves every bump, curve, and blemish of me.
i have a feeling that in the next fifty women you undress, all you will be able to see is that they are not, and could never be me.
one day i will have flowers waiting for me when i get home, and glances at dinner with his family, and good sex, and actually laugh at what he says, and i will trust him completely, and i will truly love him.
all that changed this year was my temper. i am now always terribly angry.
i am so terribly sad. someone must be watching the movie of my life for a good cry.