am i giving my life away to a dream that may never happen?
what would’ve happend, if i didn’t walk into that bar? if i didn’t see your face? if you didn’t steal glances from across the room all night? if you didn’t walk up to me with your crooked smirk? if you didnt leave to get a rose from the convenience store 3 blocks down? if you didn’t ruin my life?
pick what you want. i don’t even care if it’s me. please just choose. you know the back and forth is breaking me.
i never knew the concept of forgiveness would be so hard to grasp. but now i know that i can hold a grudge like a child. and in that melodrama i am proud.
the most tragic moment of my life, was realizing my own Cassandra complex. realizing no matter how many times i told people it wouldn’t work out, they wouldn’t believe me.
i wish this momentary calm could find the courage to last for the entirety of my life. but the war in my brain scares it away.
heaven is over now. the party got shut down. the amphitheater is empty. the bars deserted. usually so full of life but now; deathly silent. but they’re waiting.
“i am a good person,” i start. the entire crowd erupts into laughter. because they know it is a joke. they know who i truly am.
my biggest dreams couldn’t match the life we’re going to build together.