Inspired By A Friend Misspeaking

*showing visible symptoms* oh my god i need help desperately

*symptoms go away for one day* what if im just faking it

I started watching dexter and it’s genuinely wild shit. His inner monologue will be like ‘this would be considered a kind action, if I had a heart. But unfortunately, I feel nothing inside. My chest is an empty cage, with no warmth inside it’ and he’s doing some shit like saving a puppy that almost got run over or something

watched the proposal last night for ryan reynolds reasons and im mildly peeved that all these years no one told me that it was actually pretty good?? specifically how wildly psychosexually insane it is, in a deeply 2009 way. like i could write a fucking dissertation on how badly this movie wants to be a much better version of Secretary but is also deeply beholden to its cultural mandate to be Taming of the Shrew. and so it kind of just does…..both. an absolutely wild experience that i am unfortunately 100% feral for.

to my eternal sadness there is only one (1) good fic on ao3 so im just going to have to quietly imagine the very obvious scenario where she tries to make herself be a Nice Girlfriend and he has to confess that actually he really wants her to step on him (but just with slightly more concern for his feelings this time), and she makes him tell her about his fantasy where she keeps him under her desk during meetings. alas.

growing up as a Batkid means saying the words “Bruce made this look SO easy” to yourself at least once a week.

things Bruce made look easy, in no specific order:

Not sleeping for several days straight

Injury recovery after age 25

Sleeping w/people without getting attached

Maintaining constant, separate beef with several different people at the same time

Liaising with the JL on dumb fucking requests they should know better than to submit

Saying no to Alfred’s food for reasons other than just not wanting to eat at that moment (injury, illness, training, etc)

Not being able to save everyone

Being the only “adult” and the only human in a room full of metas and super heroes

It's been rough lately and I really just wanted to draw something cute. I think this came out so adorable and inspiration comes from @payasobabas69 they have done a few of these but surprisingly never a House one.

I have this idea that Clark actually enjoys black coffee and Bruce likes sugary monstrosities, which works when they're in their civilian identities, but seems kinda odd when they're in their hero identities. So nobody is surprised when Superman gets sugary drinks from the watch tower cafeteria, and obviously Batman is super serious and only drinks black coffee, but nobody notices them switching cups after they get their drinks.

my wife just sent me this,

I feel like deadpool would do a pregnancy test for jokes and panic when it comes back positive bc he doesn't know pregnancy tests come back positive if u have ball cancer

I can't stop thinking about it.

I make very important things

Original:

Adults: Following rules is good, not following rules is bad

Little me: Okay :] *follows a rule*

Adults: Oh my god look at this loser. He doesn't know that this rule is Secretly Okay To Not Follow. Dumbass. Let's all laugh at him