My Slutty Mom Captions - Blog Posts

Oops, sorry honey. I meant to send this to your friend kevin. I need somewhere to crash tonight and his place is closer. Baby call down it's only for a night, and his bed is so comfy. I love the way his sheets smell too. Can you do me a favor? Can you send him that selfie and tell him to pick me up at the club? Thanks sweetie. What do you mean pajamas? I'm so hot from dancing, Kevin dosent mind if I sleep naked baby. I just need to spread out and cool off. I bet I'll wake up with his face in my cleavage again. If I do I'll send you a pic, it's so funny! Did you send that to him already? You better tell him his sheets are gonna get so sweaty tonight, I've been twerking like crazy!

your mom texting your friend Mom: 'See? I still got my tan lines from last summer.' Friend: 'Damn, you're right. I can't believe they're still there.' M: 'If you think thats bad, the ones on my ass are way more noticeable.' F: 'Haha really? Get them panties off and take a pic from the back, I gotta see this.' M: 'Only if you promise to make it your wallpaper;)' F: 'Deal 🍑💦👅'

mom: "Hey sweetie, before I go back in there, do I look good? I'm wearing the bra you bought me. It's nice you're finally doing something useful with your allowance, and I'm glad I had you measure my boobs by hand. You didn't wanna measure a fifth time with that little tent in your pants, but I wanted you to get it right. He's gonna love it, but could you wash the matching thong that goes with it? he's dying to see me in it again after he made a mess on it last time. Yes I Watched that Nicki Minaj video you sent me. I'll 'back my ass up' for him. Thanks baby, I don't know how I'd please all these young guys without you."

mom: Thanks for being so understanding honey, I wanna get my new boyfriend the best Christmas card he's ever gotten. Something he can really get some use out of. Any suggestions? What's that, You think I should pull the sides of my thong down and show a little hip? Ok, whatever you think is best.

mom: What's the matter sweetie, don't like my costume? Your friend's having that Christmas party and I wanna be as cute as possible. I know you don't like him that much but he's real nice to me. Always offering to oil me up in the summer. Remember when he got me those Victoria's Secret thongs for my birthday? That must've cost him so much. I had to thank him by sending pics of me in them, it's only fair. Now since he saw those he's been trying to get to to come to his party. Yes, I'm going like this. No, it's final! I already sent him a selfie of it and he can't get enough. I'm gonna buy him a Santa hat too, so he can ride his little reindeer all Christmas Eve night.

Your mom and your friend have gotten really close in the past couple months. Now, every Friday is their 'Movie' night. They give you some money to go out and eat, and they stay home. Usually, their night usually spills over to late Saturday. You got home late that Friday night, and noticed they weren't in the living room where the tv is. While you headed upstairs, you heard the faint sound of your friend grunting and your mom panting hard from her room. You didn't want to just barge in, so you texted your friend asking if they were ok. You heard the noises get louder and faster.. it sounded like they running a marathon. Your moms headboard was thumping against her wall, which you couldn't help but tap your foot to the rhythm of. You knew they were up, so why is it taking so long to text back? Then it got quiet, and you got a reply from your friend saying: 'Just getting comfortable.' You were relieved. 'ok' you responded, 'didn't mean to bother ya, good night bro :).' He didn't text back, the noises just started up again. You went into your room and lay down, drifting to sleep to the sounds of the headboard and their frequent outbursts. The next day, it was already past noon and you haven't seen any signs of your friend or mom. You texted him again, 'Hey, you guys ok?' He replied with a picture and a text. 'Yea man, just eating some leftover pizza upstairs, we'll be done in an hour or two..'

Your friend had recently gotten addicted to snapchat. He almost never put his phone down while you saw him, and he'd always be rushing to the bathroom at random times. You were wondering what was so great, so the next time he received a few snaps, you couldn't help but peek over his shoulder. You wish you hadn't, because you just saw pic after pic of you mom..

It's the start of football season, and so starts your mom hanging at your friends game day. She explained that she's their personal 'cheerleader,' always getting them beers and shaking her stuff. One day you were curious so you texted your friend. you chatted for a little, but when you asked him what they all planed on eating, he sent you this..

mom: Oh hey honey! I just came down to get some oj. I need you to do me a favor, wash this top and panties? Yea these ones got stained too. Wow, it's 3pm already?? Sorry, yesterday's little sleepover with mike is still going on. I know you hired him to teach you to box, but your mom needs to have a few rounds with him first. Trust me you're getting your money's worth, Im taking quite a pounding up there! He really knows how to work out. I'm pretty sure you can smell our sweat clear down the hall... Don't look at me like that, Im just making friends. And he already has me in his phone as I'm his 'lil bed buddy' It'd be rude to give him the cold shoulder now. Maybe he can get to teaching you next time... fourth times the charm right?

I decided to delete part one of the two part story I wanted to publish on here. I want to redo the entire story because I know I could do a better job. Instead of Sofia Vergara I'll be using shots of Crystal Westbrooks. I have a lot of different elements I want to include in the story, and am open to suggestions. Thank you for being a subscriber and sticking with me, love you all. -sltymmy

Your friend and your mom have always been close, so when he got her this “shirt” for her birthday, she didn’t think anything of it. You begged her to throw it away but she refused, saying itd be rude. Now, she wears it whenever he comes over. He even took this pic of her and set it as his phones wallpaper. At school in the locker room showers, he passes his phone around so all your mutual friends can get some tension out. Everywhere you turn some guy has his dick in one hand and your moms pic in the other. Too bad coach makes you mop up after everyone leaves…

Almost 20 minuets after your mom posted a pic of herself in a blue dress to Facebook, you were flooded with friend requests. You thought it was weird that all these guys wanted to talk about your mom, but you didn’t have too many friends so it was nice to talk to someone for a change. Every conversation went the same. They’d show you the original pic and tell you how hot they thought she was, and ask for more. You don’t know why but you immediately sent more shots. Luckily you had some from past vacations. You’d tell them story’s about her, like the time she spilled wine on her dress at a cocktail party and had to wear just the hosts old tshirt the rest of the night, or the time you had company over and she sprinted naked from the shower to her room. They all seemed to love her pics and your story’s so you just kept going, even with 17 chats going at one time. Then something weird happened, you’d send the pic of her in her underwear when she had to be a “sexy attendant” at a car dealership one day, and they’d say “thanks” and immediately stop responding. It’s ok though, they still message you every night for more story’s and pics, and you couldn’t be happier with your new pen pals.

Cmon baby, a bets a bet. You couldn't lift me over your shoulder like your friend could and now he gets to take mommy out on a date! I know you're upset but don't blame me. You're the one who added buying this new dress. Now snap this photo of me quick then post it to Facebook. You remember what he told you to caption it right? "Mike's new girl." Of course I'm not wearing undies sweety, everything else is dirty! I told you to get the laundry done baby. Let's just hope the girls stay tucked in when we're grindi- I mean dancing. Ooh he just pulled up! Now get some sleep honey, you have to wake up early to make us breakfast tomorrow morning.

Your mom can never turn down a dare, so when your friends dared her to set this as her profile picture, she couldn't refuse. Now, she has almost a thousand new friends and lost her job. But it's ok, she makes more than enough selling selfies online and being a cam girl. You should know, it's your job to tell her what different poses they guys are requesting. You make $50 an hour, but it might not be worth it having to stare at guys jerking off looking at your undressing mom every day.

Even after you and your friend had a falling out, your mom stayed in touch with him. 2 or 3 times a week, shed stay at his house for the night to ¨bond.¨ You didnt trust him anymore, so you make her take a pic and send it to you when shes about to go to sleep. From the pics she sent you, you´re not sure if they make you feel more or less worried.

Your mom is a braniac, so she decided to to become a volunteer tutor for the boys at your college. She was an instant hit. You stopped counting how many familiar guys shed bring up to her room so they could ¨study real hard¨ as she put it. Often, you could go on instagram and find pics of your moms study sessions as they were happening. It was clear that she had a talent for keeping their attention.