It's The Start Of Football Season, And So Starts Your Mom Hanging At Your Friends Game Day. She Explained

mom: Your friend was nice enough to buy me these shorts, it's only fair I send him a few pics in them.

mom: What's the matter sweetie, don't like my costume? Your friend's having that Christmas party and I wanna be as cute as possible. I know you don't like him that much but he's real nice to me. Always offering to oil me up in the summer. Remember when he got me those Victoria's Secret thongs for my birthday? That must've cost him so much. I had to thank him by sending pics of me in them, it's only fair. Now since he saw those he's been trying to get to to come to his party. Yes, I'm going like this. No, it's final! I already sent him a selfie of it and he can't get enough. I'm gonna buy him a Santa hat too, so he can ride his little reindeer all Christmas Eve night.

You always loved going to the beach with your mom. Unfortunately her only bikini top got ruined, and the shirt she was wearing wasn't really holding up. It was embarrassing having to be seen with her like this. You had to shield her twice from people watching her as she took it off to wring the water out, but nothing helped. When Mike your bully came over, he assured her that she looked great. You don't have to worry about being seen with her anymore, because they've been swimming, tickling and poking each other for the past hour. If that wasn't bad enough, he took his phone out and took a picture of her. Surprise, your mom is now the star of his snapchat.

You and your mom decided to visit the public pool. As soon as you got there, every guy had their eyes on her. One guy has been standing over your mom talking to her for a while now, he must think shes really interesting.

Your mom went on vacation with her new “guy friend” Mark, but forgot her phone at home with you. Instead she sent you updates from Mark’s phone. It got awkward once when Mark accidentally sent you a pic he took of her sitting on a sink. He apologized, saying he meant to send it to his friend.

One night, she sends you this pic.

mom: Hey! I need your opinion. Mark says this counts as pajamas and I say it doesn't. What do you think?

you: Well… I guess people usually sleep in their underwear… so yes.

mom: Really? good thing you told me. Mark came up with a fun little “no pjs” rule tonight. I just wanted to know if I had to take this off or not before crawling into bed with him. Looks like it’s a yes!

you: What?? I take it back, you can wear that!

mom: Too late honey, we’re already in bed. I have to put down my phone, something just popped up and I need to take care of it. xoxo

Your friend and your mom have always been close, so when he got her this “shirt” for her birthday, she didn’t think anything of it. You begged her to throw it away but she refused, saying itd be rude. Now, she wears it whenever he comes over. He even took this pic of her and set it as his phones wallpaper. At school in the locker room showers, he passes his phone around so all your mutual friends can get some tension out. Everywhere you turn some guy has his dick in one hand and your moms pic in the other. Too bad coach makes you mop up after everyone leaves…

mom: Oh this? Your friends and I have a little game where I have to send them a selfie, no matter where I am or what Im doing. In this pic I was at the gym, they seem to like those ones a lot. Its no big deal when Im at work or cooking, but when it gets a little embarrassing when Im in the shower...

You thought it was inappropriate that the guys in your town would send your mom underwear for her birthday. You thought it was REALLY inappropriate when shed send them pics of her modeling them.

My buddy bought my mom this cool hat for her birthday. Now whenever I see him he tells me all about how she can't stop sending him selfies, and how good she looks with it on. He's even got this pic as his phones wallpaper. I'm lucky to have such a cool mom.

mom: "Hey sweetie, before I go back in there, do I look good? I'm wearing the bra you bought me. It's nice you're finally doing something useful with your allowance, and I'm glad I had you measure my boobs by hand. You didn't wanna measure a fifth time with that little tent in your pants, but I wanted you to get it right. He's gonna love it, but could you wash the matching thong that goes with it? he's dying to see me in it again after he made a mess on it last time. Yes I Watched that Nicki Minaj video you sent me. I'll 'back my ass up' for him. Thanks baby, I don't know how I'd please all these young guys without you."