Norse Mythology From A To Z:

Hera: [to Zeus] Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don't let the fact that you're a terrible person and husband keep you up tonight.

Aeneas and His Father Fleeing Troy Simon Vouet (French; 1590–1649) ca. 1635 Oil on canvas San Diego Museum of Art, San Diego, California

Norse mythology from A to Z:

[F] - Frigg wears many hats in Norse mythology. She is often described as “foremost among the goddesses”, and was the wife of Odin. She was the Queen of the Aesir and the goddess of the sky. She was also known as the goddess of fertility, household, motherhood, love, marriage, and domestic arts.

“No one can weave as well as I—not even the Goddess Athena!” Arachne boasted, unaware of who else might be listening in. 

Revisiting one of the most memorable greek myths from my childhood, the weaving contest of Arachne and Athena. 

Deimos:(gleefully) A hit, eh? You want us to make em suffer? Or just end it, quick and quiet-like?

Zeus:Nah, nothin' permanent... just, like, give him a little taste of fear. I guess you can break something small... like a toe...

Deimos: We can take out his tongue..

Phobos:(with relish) With a knife!

Deimos:Or remove his heart...

Phobos:(with great relish) Yeah, with a knife!

Deimos:A bigger knife!

Phobos:(with greater relish) Fucking knife!

Zeus:(a touch uneasy) Yeeeeahhhhhhh.... you guys....are....kinda creepy. I think this may be a stupid idea. Hey, Ares, do you want to call the spooky twins home before I throw them there?

Ares: Come boys....

Phobos and Deimos: (Slinks away creepily)

Achilles: any cute things to call your partner?

Agamemnon: sugar

Menelaus: honey

Diomedes: flour

Odysseus: egg

Nestor: 1/2lb butter

Antilochus: stir

Briseis: pour into a pan

Patroclus: preheat oven to 350 degrees

more

It’s  weird for me that Ulysses was a trickster and a liar during the siege and that was ok. But Antilochus won a chariot racing by using simple physics tricks and that wasn’t fair play.

Those guys would be horrified by high performance athlete nowadays.

Hera: you’re just gonna leave me? Like this?

Zeus: like what? I’m just going to the meat market.

Hera, sulking: you may as well just rip my heart in two

Zeus: wha- what did I do??

Hera: it’s what you didn’t do

Zeus:

Hera:

Zeus: oh

Zeus: *kisses Hera’s head* better?

Hera: much :)

*1am on Pelion*

Patroclus: *giggling* You’re my moon.

Achilles: *also giggling* And you’re my star.

Chiron: *tiredly* and you’re both getting on my nerves, go to bed!