“I want someone to see the dark parts of my mind. The messy, the scary, the destructive parts and still choose to stay.“
Me
My mom: how can you still be tired?! You slept all day!
Me: *is not actually physically tired, just really tired of reality and living so I use sleep as an alternative to death*
“I knew everything had changed when I looked into your eyes and saw every single lie you ever told, and watched you deny every last one.”
— Thanks dad for all the memories, I surly will never forget you
05.04.2019 08.51
I hate my fucking body. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I hate it. My voice is too high, my chest too big, my face too feminine, I miss the Adam’s apple that I’ve never had, and I’m bleeding my guts out. Why can’t I bleed to death? I don’t want this body, I wish I could get rid of it.
Same.
Do you ever just want someone to punch in your face, crack a few of your ribs and cut open your skin?
Does anybody know the app name?
I'm over 3 months "clean" but, in Valen's name it's been difficult.
Do you read y/n fanfic based around someone finding about your illness/selfharm/disorder just so you can feel loved when you’re too afraid to ask for it from people in your life or are you normal?
Apparently it's not normal to have suicidal thoughts???? Like ever????? Apparently the average person doesn't think about killing themselves even once in their life????? What the fuck.
This.
Never enough discipline. I never have myself under enough discipline to achieve what I want to achieve.
I know I’m sick. I know I’m ‘fucked up in the head’. I know what is good for me and what is bad for me.
At the exact same time, I don’t care.
I don’t want to be healthy. I don’t want a perfect relationship. I don’t mind the hurting, the aching, the low expectations, the hunger, the hurt. I don’t mind it because it’s all I’ve ever known.