File -> Phrases That Are Going To Shift Something In Me Forever

nahri and dara brainrot

you do understand that from now on and for the foreseeable future, daniel's ads will all be of blenders, yes?

Geto: People say "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" about the stupidest things I've ever heard. If you wouldn't wish one day of food poisoning on your worst enemies, you don't have enemies.

🦉

My partner critiques my fics in memes, I felt this on a very personal level.

imagine u go from being a sex slave with hyper sexual compulsions having sex like multiple times a day everyday since u were a child, to a member of a Catholic cult that demands its members not even look at their genitals monk style, and u live like this for hundreds of years until ur life times of celibacy is finally broken by LESTAT DE LIONCOURT. Like and people wonder why Armand is crazy. Imagine the first touch of passion that u have been longing for for an amount of time impossible to conceptualize by a mortal is the touch of LESTAT DE LIONCOURT, guy who thinks that calling himself “bad daddy” in bed is hot, and then he immediately forgets about u after u gave up ur lifetimes of celibacy to suck his mediocre dick

*taps mic* is this thing on? Yeah okay so every vampire in the vampire chronicles is turned at critical a moment in their lives and beyond just the body they are in when they are turned, their mentality stays at that standstill for their entire immortality, Lestat was turned against his will, he was clinging onto Magnus begging him to be freed, so he’s constantly seeking freedom and only finding loneliness and thus turning back to people again and again, however he can’t STAND being told what to do, since he desires agency in his life so desperately, Armand was turned after years and years of abuse and lack of control but such a desire for genuine love, by a man he ‘loved’ so wholly who he felt was barring his love from him, he needs control in his life, he needs a ‘master’ but he does not desire it, it does not fulfill him, he is trapped in a room but the door is unlocked! Louis was mourning his brother, he felt like an utter failure and so he’s always seeking family, seeking people he can care for, he can coddle, he can prove he is good too, but he loves people who either cannot stand coddeling and need a sense of looseness to live (Lestat) or people who grow out of coddling who prove to Louis he will always fail the people he loves (Claudia), Claudias turning, in many MANY ways mirrors lestats in that it was against her will, she was stolen from her home, and in her immortality she desires freedom but unlike Lestat does not have the agency/ form to get it, she will always be small, she will always be looked down on, even by Lestat who cannot deny how much she is just like him *taps mic* ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!! NONE OF THEM CAN BREAK THE CYCLE!!! TO BREAK IT WOULD BE TO UNDO THE VERY FIBER OF THEIR IMMORTAL SELVES!! THE CYCLE IS THE BLOOD THEY DRINK IT IS THE HEART IN THEIR CHEST AND IT ROLLS AND ROLLS DOWN THE MOUNTAINS AND VALLEYS OF THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND IT CAN NEVER BE STOPPED BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER STOP LOVING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!

never been about me

My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

fuuuuck. i cant deal with 3 million draculas today are you kidding