To Keep Their Mouths Busy Because They Would Yap Themselves To Death About Lestat

made this with tears still drying on my face

the only reason I go on Reddit now is to find these bad two sentence horror posts. they're great. they're bad. but they're great.

*Stuck in their civilian identities trying to stop a villain*

Clark: *whispering* Bruce what do we do?!

Bruce: *whispering back, stuck in Brucie mode* I dunno man, usually I just flash my tits and all my problems go away

*Clark’s eyes dart down to Bruce’s unbuttoned shirt and a blush takes over his cheeks*

Clark: Oh, erm, *cough* y-yeah I could see that…

I hate the cans

*bleeding to death because the paramedics can’t break the windows to get me out of my stupid fucking truck* heha well at least i dont have to worry about the friggin Zombie Apocalypse… awesomesauce 😎

Kinda crazy how speaking English is almost a form of literacy without which your access to the relevant scientific and sociopolitical conversations of our time is seriously limited.... Thank God I started reading yaoi fanfiction on American websites at age 14

Live. Laugh. Longsword.

funniest news blurb i've ever seen actually. "there was a plot to kill trump last weekend. no not that one. totally different one. we figured out about it beforehand though so we heightened security at the rally. yeah that rally. yeah the one where-- yeah. yeah that one."