Kinda Crazy How Speaking English Is Almost A Form Of Literacy Without Which Your Access To The Relevant

100 posts!

That's horrible thanks

Guys please help me I'm obssesed with Devil's minion. I wake up thinking of it, i go to gym thinking of it, i eat thinking of it, i go to de bethroom thinking of it, i go to work thinking of it, i go sleep thinking of it…help…

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

i bought pre-cum strawberries today at the store and they were like twice as expensive but theyre so fucking good theres not any bad ones in the bowl and i dont have to waste time doing it myself now. so worth it

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

you know in retrospect it's weird that the splatooniverse has a band called "the squid sisters" when, like... they Are squids. that's like if the real world had a band called "the human league"

now that iwtv has hit a new audience from netflix i figured now was a good a time as any for another round of favorite tweets of the week

Just realized that the reason I love making friends on tumblr is because it’s exactly how you make friends on the playground as a six year old. No, I don’t know their name but they love mermaids too and built this awesome sand castle. No, I don’t know their age but their imaginary cheetah is friends with mine. You like this show? You like this character?? You can sing the theme song really loud??? Here is a flower crown. Here is a juice box. You can share my time and I might never see you again but part of you stays in my soul forever. In my mind we’re still on the swing set and the sky is blue and nothing will ever be wrong again.

Actually my favorite replacement for both 'kill myself' jokes and jokes about reacting violently to things/people that upset me is "I'm going to end up on the news" like it's versatile, it's vague, it's not going to get me in trouble with any censors or websites that take joke threats seriously, it's family friendly while still getting the point across, what's not to love???