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GROW UP 102; CONFIDENCE BABY

Confidence is security in the reliability and competence of oneself. To be confident is to be secure in your ability to gain pleasure and avoid pain by being reliable and competent, so to speak. In this way at the heart of confidence is security.

What most people don't understand or get wrong about confidence is that it's not inown. Confidence doesn't 'come from the inside'. Unlike self worth you are not born with confidence, it's something you consciously cultivate daily. It's also not ego. In fact confidence that stems from the ego is fragile.

The opposite/ enemy/ indicator of the lack of confidence is anxiety. At the root of anxiety is the fear that you might not be able to avoid pain and gain pleasure, in fact it's the constant anticipation of pain. Given human survival hinges largely on avoiding pain you see how confidence in itself is crucial to life.

Now then, how do we build confidence?

1 . Know Yourself.

The problem with this little phrase is how easy it is to overlook. "I kNoW wHo I aM" okay and who is that. Go ahead love I'm listening. Who is you. See that little hesitation thing that happened after your " I like __ I hate__ " list?yes? Jump into pinterest, get you journal prompts and work that stuff our, yes? Get you a shadow work journal, get to the 360° of you. And yes this includes [and is ESPECIALLY about] the tough questions you wanna run from. It's SHADOW work. Face thy shadows, missus.

When you know who you are you build security in your choices, opinions and preferences. If you know who you are I cannot convince you to like someone or hate someone or buy something, I can not plant insecurity in you. If you know for a fact you are intelligent the statement [ you are dumb] can not trigger you into a 488579 word reblog because you know you're not.

2. Say no. [Build autonomy]

Confidence thrives in autonomy. There is a reason people pleasers are the poster kids for anxiety [hence lack of confidence], they lack autonomy. Listen if they get your nails wrong at the nail salon don't (haha it's okayyy) you're killing your confidence. Politely say no this isn't what I want. Get me what I want. What makes mean girls the poster kids for confidence is we don't settle for less than, we don't give in and we don't feel the need to explain unless we have to. No I'm not into you.why? Enjoy the blue ticks. No that's not the meal I ordered. Yes I understand you're having a rough day, I don't mean to add to your stress but if I don't then I'll be stressed for paying for something I didn't even want, you know? Get me what I ordered, yes? Thank you. Mean Girls are not scared to start a scene. To put up a fight. To walk out. Mean Girls have autonomy. The day you say "no" without your heart racing and anticipating social annihilation congrats. Welcome to the club.

3. Company

Now this is one of those things we think we know but we don't. When we say "show me your friends ill show you your character " we are not pulling an Aristotle on you. 95% of your thoughts are determined by the company you keep [or what you let influence you] . Humans are social creatures which means we pool our thoughts into our social group for the purpose of progress. Friend groups are literally based on a thought process. If you are friends with people who's entire personality is " I have anxayati I'm suisaidol I have mentol helth issues " 24/7 good luck on confidence if you hang out with the "ewwww that's so cringe" crowd how's that personality/ character annihilation working out for you if you are friends with people that constantly put other people down how are the anxiety meds coming if you're still in contact with your narcissistic ex or dad or mom how's that working for you if all you watch is Candace Owens and Andrew Tate and social politics clearly aimed to trigger how is your real-life relationship sabotage going if your friends are the moral police and virtue signallers mon amour hows the lack of self trust X extreme levels of self hate x unrealistic moral standards x loneliness? If you don't have uplifting friends read books on queens and power women and people that inspire you and watch videos that inspire you. Your friends literally make or break you.

95% of your thought process, sis. 95% . In a universe where thoughts literally create reality?? Think Elon Musk and Beyonce. Careful who you let in and please do not let your people pleading trap you in a pity bond.youre not a healer.

4. THERAPYY

I will NEVER not bring this bad bitch to your table every table I sit on I bring this absolute babe called therapee. There is no overlooking this. "I dont like talking about-" and where has that gotten you? Tough shit love. Download betterhelp okay? Okay. Not knowing the source of our actions, pain and shame forces us to lay the blame squarely on ourselves, it has to be someone's fault so it's mine. In this way since you believe in the past you could not avoid pain you lose confidence [because confidence is.....] until you learn to place the blame where it belongs [and it's never you. You know I'm not the touchy Feely type of blogger so I'm not sugaring you up rn. It's your responsibility yes, but never your fault.take it from a psych minor] the part of you that blames you will always get in the way and no your mom telling you it wasn't your fault is a great quick fix but when you are in the shower alone you know it'll creep up on you. Get you a trauma doc aka therapist. And we are ALL traumatized which means we have ALL been in a position where we couldn't avoid pain don't act like this doesn't apply to you.

5. Build a skill set

Kobe Bryant saying his confidence comes from knowing he did his best is all you need to hear. Most of confidence is built on competence, this is the part people hate. That Roman Reigns confidence comes from knowing he is the best, he's proven it over and over again. Listen love confidence does not exist in a void. You don't curl up in your bed and be confident you need something to be confident about you need something to be confident about you need something to be confident about you need something to be confident about you need- . When ladies ask me "how do I become confident" my first thought is, about what? You want to be confident about what exactly? About your social skills? That everyone will like you?? YOU ARE A SHY INTROVERT how will thar happen? In your grades? WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU STUDIED? In your talents? HOW MANY PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THEM? DO YOU PRACTISE?? what do you want to be confident about? Confidence, love, DOES NOT EXIST IN A VOID. The more skills you amass the more confident you are in yourself. The more competent you are the more confident you are.

Athletes are confident because they know they have trained. So are models and professionals &c &c. They are confident because they are COMPETENT which is because they put in the work.

Lazy girls don't win.

6. Positive focus

Now yall know I hate this little phrase here but but but you can not overlook the positive and expect confidence. If all you ever think is "I'm fat I'm broke no one likes me I'm a failure wuh wuh" what do you expect. Confidence doesn't exist in a void you must give it a threshold to operate on.

In his book [Mastery] Robert Greene (cementing his reign as the greatest Philosopher of the 21st century) states that all you need is one thing you are good at. A focus on it will make you a master. You don't need to have 588689 talents and straight As in all your classes and be liked by everyone and have 6777 minors no. That one thing. That thing that lights you up. That you never run out of ideas on. That you can work on for hours? Focus on that. That one friend that's always there. How you just love the shape of your eyebrows. How you are obsessed with your singing voice. How you just like how your table arrangement looks. How you like your meals. You need one thing. Just one. Focus on that. One thing you like. Repeat it to yourself everyday. I like my hair it's so glossy. I love science I'm great at it. I love my mom. Just one.

7. Affirmations

Another little thing I loath but science is science and science says the adult brain is programmed by repetition. That's the most I'll say because I loath this littol ting sm and I'm petty.

8. Looks.

On today's episode of things this girl REFUSES to explain how looking your version of the best boosts your confidence makes the list. The girls that get it get it the girls that don't, what's wrong with yuuuu

-,-

9. Boundaries

This girl has two different blog posts on those. This girl wants you to go read both, again.

10. Honesty & authenticity

If there is one thing that will miraculously boost your confidence it's these two. What makes point [1] so important is that it allows authenticity. I don't know how to articulate this without sounding like the psychology geek that I am but the highest level of confidence is being so comfortable with yourself that you don't need to hide. Compulsive lying is a marker of a people pleaser based on the belief [I am not good enough as I am] which is complete utter bullshit Self worth exists in a void its completely inown from the second you are conceived you are worthy. The marker of a confident person is being so at home and secure in yourself that you feel no need to hide. And I do not mean apathy, I mean being so at home with yourself that you do not feel the need to hide. This is me. Top tier mentality.

11. Kill thy ego

Just kidding hehe. Actually no I'm not. I don't think it's entirely possible to kill your ego (or even healthy) but I know it is the source of all your shame and rage and embarrassment and guilt. Your ego is ze enemy [its not actually its a friend but for the purpose of this point let's act like it is]. You need to take yourself off every single pedestal you're on. That [I'm a God] mentality will ruin your confidence because every time someone says or does something you disagree with its a 6979997 word reblog, 168 tiktoks commenting on it, a reddit thread and its just- get back down to earth. You're not God. Your perspective of life is not divine and holy and your philosophy and belief system is not the law. When someone does not agree with you let it slide. That's their perspective. Based on the life they've lived, their culture, their trauma, their beliefs, you're wrong. And that's okay. Don't let your ego keep you up writing 69789988 words in retaliation killing your confidence because you're getting hurt by the fact that someone that grew up in a different home, culture, religion & c has a different view. Did you expect we are all little yous? The ego is the sole origin of pain.

Confidence is security that we can AVOID PAIN and gain pleasure. You get??

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take care of yourself

𓂃 ﾟ｡🎀 ⋆ ⟡ 𓂃 ﾟ｡🎀 ⋆ ⟡ 𓂃 ﾟ｡🎀 ⋆ ⟡ 𓂃

mentally — journal: do a brain dump · meditate · remove toxic people and triggering things from your life · recite self love affirmations · think happy thoughts · if negative thoughts come, it’s okay, that’s inevitable.. let them be but don’t let them stay · take walks to clear your mind (watch your surroundings-be careful) · block, unfollow, and mute accounts online that make you feel bad about yourself · disconnect from the world - social media - the news etc often in order to make peace your priority, reset and recharge

emotionally — allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling : cry - scream -laugh - smile .. let it out · process your feelings, the good and bad ones · try to understand them and try to work your way through them · journal daily · tell people how you feel and how they make you feel because keeping things like this bottled up isn’t good · be kind to yourself · be patient with yourself · know that your feelings are always valid and no one can ever tell you how to feel about something

physically — exercise · try yoga/pilates · drink enough water every day · try to eat breakfast lunch and dinner daily · brush your teeth in the morning and before bed · wash and deep condition your hair · don’t skip your skin care routine · get mani/pedis · practice good hygiene/shower regularly · moisturize your skin · get facials · get enough sleep · use sunscreen

How I have improved my routines and consistency

Hello girlies! This first week of my vacations period I have been using it as a test for my ideal routines and schedule, identifying what goes right and wrong and what changes do I need to do to be consistent and have an efficient systmem. What you'll be reading next are all the things I have done and learned to apply to have a calm, healthy, fun and fulfillling routines and daily schedule, overrall improving my lifetyle.

Identify

Energy levels: Are you a morning person or a night owl? Do you identify when do you have the most energy and when it goes down? What would be my ideal time to sleep and wake up?

What negative habits do I have? And why do I have them? With what habits I can switch them?

Why do I procrastinate? In which ways I procrastinate and distract myself?

How I want my lifestyle to look like? What habits, routines, hobbies and activities are included in my daily life? How do I act on a daily basis?

Creating my schedule and routines

Set a sleeping schedule that fits you based on your energy levels.

Create a morning, night and pampering routines that you enjoy doing, that you are comfortable with and makes you feel fulfilled.

Create (if neccesary) other routines that you need:There are probably other things you want to do that you need a routine for! For example, I have a mini manifesting routine and a weekly spiritual healing routine. I also want to create a language sudy routine too.

Include non-negotiable healthy habits: this habits are the ones that keep you healthy in body, work with your mind and give you peace. For example, some of mine are: eating 3 healthy meals, tidying up my space for 30 minutes, listening to a podcast, don't use my phone for more than three hours, etc. Also, include fun habits to help you romanticize the day and feel good.

Have time to do things I love: I have noticed that if I don't do the things I love after long period of time, meaning productive only days, I get burned out and more prone to procastinate and get distracted when I get the chance. Make sure you have time to yourself, either be it hobbies or fun activities, you will keep your mind, heart, body (if it's physical) and soul healthy!

Have time to rest and be still: We need to understand that we need rests, so we have to respect it and let us be. Also we need some minutes in silence to connect with ourselves, body and creativity out of all the noise and stimuli.

Maintaining consistency

Plan my day: I plan my daily tasks and my daily schedule, this to not procrastinate overthinking "what I'm going to do?"

Add a place and hour: For any routine, habit or activity decide "Where am I going to do it? At what time or after what habit?"

Habit stacking or multitasking: If I have a "listening habit" (podcast, subliminal, listening to high vibe music) with a "not-thinking alot habit" (tidyin up my space, do the dishes, cooking) habit I do them both at the same time. If I need to do a habit that needs my full attention then it will be done that way.

Include timers (if needed): This helps me know how much time do I need to do my habits and to know if it's taking me more or less time to complete them. I use an app where I have my routines (morning, night, weekly reset, mini manifestation and spiritual healing activities) with each habit having a timer.

Have a habit tracker: In here I write a daily log that includes filling boxes of my daily non negotiable habits and extra habits (that romanticize my life or keep me healthy). Also includes two questions: "What progress did I made today with my goals? Is there something I need tom improve or change in my system?'.

Romanticize! Your habits and activities, routine sets, daily schedule, romanticize your days your way! It's different for everyone, so find out how to add magic into your life.

Wasted day? It's never too late to do something useful. Keep going or journal about what went wrong. I like to remind myself my motivations and ideal lifestyle to mantain myself going forward.

Let's be healthy and organized together! 𑄽𑄺ྀ

where to start

introduction:

self-improvement looks very simple on paper. eat better, workout, have a skin care and hair care routine. lower your screentime, study, be organized, have hobbies. but trust me i know how difficult it is to actually DO the things you talk about doing. how hard it is to even know where to start, and how to stay consistent. roadblocks also happen, things out of your control. but ultimately you can make change in your life, just little by little.

planning:

during this stage you need to think of what you want to accomplish and creating an action plan full of steps that can get you there. i've provided my own example too :)

prioritize your physical and mental health. when those things are improving then pretty much everything else in your life will start to follow. just look at yourself now and think 'what can i do better? how can i be happier & healthier?'

write down your goals.

create an action plan for each goal. what steps can you take to achieve this goal? make a step by step plan.

come up with things you can do everyday to reach that goal. what adjustments can you make in your everyday routine that'll help you get there? for example, i want to make an etsy shop so i sew for 20+ minutes a day on weekends, and sew 30 minutes on weekdays.

excecuting:

the most important part is slowly easing into your new habits. look at your goals and think 'what steps am i taking to reach it?'

meeting your basic needs. before you even think about self improvement make sure you're taking care of your health and hygeine. this means eating enough, being hydrated, taking care of your hygeine. always make sure that your core needsre met consistently before you even begin.

start small. once you've gotten consistent with meeting your basic needs then start making small changes. (ex. exercising for 10 minutes, reading for 10 minutes, start small with the habits you planned) dont overwhelm yourself!

have a fluid plan. be open to change- if something really isn't working then adjust it! and, when you continue to do something for a while, start doing it longer- i used to walk around 1.5 miles daily for almost a month and then started doing 2.5. keep increasing until you're at a healthy point.

having a good mindset. as always make sure your mindset is good. remember that progress isn't linear- you're going to screw up sometimes and get off track. just make sure you learn from every experience.

conclusion:

no matter what there ARE going to be problems or things that don't go your way, things that aren't in your control. since my 15th birthday i've been applying to jobs left and right, over 30 or so, and it's been 5 months of rejection due to my age (15 year olds can only work 3 hours in a row and most places need more). since i can't control that i just keep applying and in the mean time i focus on the other aspects of my life! it can be really frustrating but you just have to keep pushing.

STOP Being His “Spoiled” Girlfriend

HOW TO RECEIVE GF TREATMENT WITHOUT COMMITMENT!

“My man, my man, my man,”

You’re not spoiled being on standby when you want to be secured, sorry. It cancels out.

Here’s why you’re still a placeholder even though you’re being spoiled by the most generous boyfriend in the world:

You’re giving up the cat (with excitement bc he’s “spoiling you). I can stop here.

You’ve claimed commitment in exchange for his companionship (and coins). This means you’ve loss the leverage of having him chase and most likely don’t care to make him chase

Most of y’all are receiving gifts, not investments (purses not properties)

The strategy of “Beneficiary Dating” allows you to receive both gifts and investments from suitors without being on standby for a ring (or to bend over)

Here’s how you can receive Girlfriend Treatment WITHOUT becoming anyone’s girlfriend:

Commit to celibacy, please

Keep them at a physical and emotional distance. Y’all We can’t WAIT to pillow talk about our traumas and past relationships. Detachment please

Have the goal of marriage without rushing to get married

Become the girl they beg for commitment, even if you know you’re going to always say no.

There’s a psychological allure of perusing something that is not accessible. Or someone that’s not accessible- you.

You’re inaccessible for commitment without a masculine making you the beneficiary for their life insurance plan. I don’t make the rules!

First comes investment, then comes intimacy

Click to learn how to “Beneficiary Date”

Join our newsletter for marriage minded feminines

Biggest form of self love…

Choosing yourselfೃ࿔*:･

• Set boundaries and stick with them, girl. Allowing someone to cross your boundaries and hurt you, THEN FORGIVING THEM?? No. That is like the ultimate act of anti-self love.

It can be good to give second chances and be forgiving, but you have to cut out toxic people if you want the best for yourself.

• Say ‘no’ without feeling bad. YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON. Do what YOU want to do.

• Be caring and loving towards yourself. Never neglect or hurt yourself. You are the most important person in your life, seriously.

Be kind to others while still putting yourself first.

• Push yourself a bit! Try new things, set goals, and work to improve yourself.

Sometimes self love can mean getting out of your comfort zone and growing a bit. Find new ways to be your best self.

• Relax. Pushing yourself is great, but stretching yourself out too thin is no good. Sometimes you need to rest, relax, and pamper yourself, after all you deserve it.

I love to treat myself.

Go for a peaceful walk. Take a long bath/shower. Lay in bed. Make a warming beverage. Watch your fav show/movie/Youtuber/etc. Make yourself a cute snack or a nice filling meal. Do whatever makes you feel good. <333

— the 2025 princess guide:

the new year is coming and with it a chance for a new start, i created this guide to make sure i don't waste it and decided to share it with everyone.ᡣ𐭩

FORGIVE YOURSELF AND FORGET THE PAST

don't fall trap into the whole "i said this year would be my year last time too but didn't do anything, what difference is 2025 gonna be" narrative. forgive yourself for your mistakes and use them as lessons to prevent another wasted year instead of an excuse to give up. reflect on them and identify what made you break the promises you made to yourself. were you too ambitious? did you neglect rest and ended up burning out? did you lose motivation? whatever it was learn from it and be mindful not to mess up the same way this year. failure is the best teacher.

CHOOSING YOUR RESOLUTIONS

instead of googling "new years resolutions" or copying what everyone else is doing, set resolutions that are specific to you. take a moment to sit down with yourself and ask yourself: where do i want to be a year from now? what can i do this year to bring myself closer to my dream life? what are some new things i'd like to experience? think of the bigger picture and set goals that will help you get there.

GETTING IT DONE

once your goals are set, identify the habits that will help you achieve your goals. make a routine out of them and create what would be the perfect day to you. if it feels like you have too many areas you want to work on, make two (or more) daily routines where in each one you focus on different aspects and then alternate between them.

PRACTICE ROUND

it would be unrealistic to expect yourself to immediately pick up the routine and execute it everyday, especially since you're only starting out. luckily we have a whole month until 2025 starts so there's plenty of time for you to slowly ease into it. start by only doing a couple of tasks on your list and slowly up the amount as you start to fall into rhythm. this is the perfect time for trials and errors and tweaking your routine and eliminating/changing out anything that doesnt fit in as well as you imagined

Hobbies to Try in your 20's

Explore art:

Tap into your creative side with painting, drawing, or sculpting. Art is not only therapeutic but also a fantastic way to express yourself and even decorate your space.

Reading:

Join a book club or set a personal reading challenge. From classic literature to modern thrillers, reading can expand your horizons and provide endless inspiration.

Get into gardening:

Whether you have a big backyard or just a small apartment balcony, gardening can be a relaxing and fulfilling hobby.Grow your own herbs, flowers, or vegetables!

Experiment with cooking:

Take on new recipes and cooking techniques. From baking bread to mastering the art of sushi, cooking can be both a practical skill and a creative outlet.

Try photography:

Capture the beauty around you and tell your story through the lens. Experiment with different styles, like portrait or landscape photography, and maybe even start a photo blog.

Practice yoga or meditation:

Incorporate mindfulness into your routine to reduce stress and enhance your overall well-being.

Learn to code:

Dive into the world of programming and build your own apps or websites. Coding is a valuable skill that can open up career opportunities and enhance your problem-solving abilities.

Challenge yourself with puzzles:

Engage your brain with jigsaw puzzles, crosswords, or brain teasers. It's a great way to relax and keep your mind sharp.

Try acting or improv:

Step out of your comfort zone and explore your theatrical side. Acting classes or improv groups can boost your confidence and creativity.

Travel and explore:

If possible, travel to new places, even if it's just a nearby town.Experiencing new cultures and environments can broaden your perspective and inspire new passions.

Try pottery:

Get your hands dirty and create beautiful, functional pieces with pottery. It's a relaxing and creative way to express yourself, and you'll end up with unique, handmade items.

Play games:

Board games,video games, or strategy games can be a great way to unwind and bond with friends.

Learn a new language:

Expand your horizons by learning a new language.It opens up opportunities for travel, cultural exchange, and even new career prospects. Plus, it's a fun and challenging way to keep your brain active.

Start a YouTube Channel or blog:

Share your passions, knowledge, or daily life through videos or written content. It's a creative outlet and a way to connect with like-minded individuals.

all about mobility

what is mobility & how is it different from flexibility?

mobility is the ability of the joints to move through their full range of motion, while flexibility is the ability of the muscles to temporarily stretch.

why do mobility training?

there are many different benefits of mobility training, including:

increased flexibility

reduced risk of injury

improving joint & muscle health

improving range of motion

improving posture

gaining muscle strength

balance & stability

reducing pain & stiffness in the body

when should i start?

now! there’s a common misconception that you shouldn’t need mobility training until you are in your later years and your mobility starts to decline, but mobility training is useful no matter your age. in fact, the sooner you start, the less mobility & joint problems you will experience as you age.

how often should i train mobility?

mobility training is safe and beneficial to do daily, but ideally, you should try to train mobility at least 5 times per week for at least 5-10 minutes each time.

routines:

10 minute mobility workout by growingannanas

10 minute mobility for neglected joints by julia.reppel

15 minute daily mobility routine by julia.reppel

15 minute mobility stretch by growingannanas

20 minute slow mobility & stretch by julia.reppel

20 minute full body mobility warm up by leanbeefpatty

20 minute spinal mobility by julia.reppel

20 minute mobility workout by julia.reppel

20 minute rest day mobility flow by julia.reppel

20 minute pilates x mobility by julia.reppel

20 minute full body mobility by julia.reppel

25 minute full body stretch & mobility by madfit

25 minute mobility workout by julia.reppel

25 minute yoga for mobility by jess yoga

25 minute rest day mobility by julia.reppel

25 minute low impact mobility workout by julia.reppel

25 minute mobility workout by marie steffen

30 minute full body primal mobility by julia.reppel

30 minute primal mobility workout by julia.reppel

30 minute mobility yoga for athletes by charlie follows

30 minute beginner-friendly mobility flow by julia.reppel

30 minute mobility workout by fitness__kaykay

30 minute active recovery workout by heather robertson

30 minute core strength & shoulder mobility by heather robertson

35 minute yoga fusion workout by heather robertson

40 minute mobility & dynamic stretching by heather robertson

40 minute abs & hip mobility by heather robertson

40 minute core strength & back mobility by heather robertson

40 minute core strength & mobility by heather robertson

40 minute core & shoulder mobility by heather robertson

40 minute abs & mobility by heather robertson

44 minute core & full body mobility by heather robertson