Son! Why Didn't You Tell Me Your Friends Had A Band Sooner? They've Been Killing It For The Past Two

mom: Hey honey! My new boyfriend got my tongue pierced. He says it feels great gliding on his .. oops! Sorry honey, you weren't supposed to know that part.

Mom: "Look honey, aren't these pjs cute? My new boyfriend bought me them for when I sleep over. He even came up with a fun little game where he has to try to fit into it with me! It might take some wiggling and rubbing but I think he can squeeze in. If we can do it I promised to reward him by keeping it off the rest of the night."

mom: Look at these new leggings son! Yeah, I know this is the fifth pair I've shown you, but Im excited. It was so nice of the guys from the gym to get me leggings for my birthday. Now I can look even sexier! Why am I taking pictures? They wanted to see how they fit before I wear them to the gym. Its the least I can do for being so nice. They treat me like family. 

Since I work out at night, the ladies locker room is always locked. But they dont mind letting me use the guys locker room to change and scrub down. Oh calm down baby, Im just one of the guys to them. They give me towel snaps, pats on the ass, and make me play monkey in the middle with my thongs! 

If I drop something one of them will come up behind me, grab my hips, and jokingly start humping me in front of everyone. You know how much of a ham I am, I like to put on a show. So I start moaning like crazy, grab on to my tits, and grind back on his coc- oops! I mean privates honey.

Its strange though, everyone waits till I get in the shower to decide they need to take one too. By the time we all get in, I can barley move! I have a guy at every angle offering to wash a part of me. Youd think Id get done faster that way, but they always take their time and get every inch. 

when everyone leaves, me and one lucky guy will stay in the showers a little longer to get one last work out in..

mom: Your friend was nice enough to buy me these shorts, it's only fair I send him a few pics in them.

Your friend and your mom have always been close, so when he got her this “shirt” for her birthday, she didn’t think anything of it. You begged her to throw it away but she refused, saying itd be rude. Now, she wears it whenever he comes over. He even took this pic of her and set it as his phones wallpaper. At school in the locker room showers, he passes his phone around so all your mutual friends can get some tension out. Everywhere you turn some guy has his dick in one hand and your moms pic in the other. Too bad coach makes you mop up after everyone leaves…

mom: "Hey sweetie, before I go back in there, do I look good? I'm wearing the bra you bought me. It's nice you're finally doing something useful with your allowance, and I'm glad I had you measure my boobs by hand. You didn't wanna measure a fifth time with that little tent in your pants, but I wanted you to get it right. He's gonna love it, but could you wash the matching thong that goes with it? he's dying to see me in it again after he made a mess on it last time. Yes I Watched that Nicki Minaj video you sent me. I'll 'back my ass up' for him. Thanks baby, I don't know how I'd please all these young guys without you."

Your mom and your friend have gotten really close in the past couple months. Now, every Friday is their 'Movie' night. They give you some money to go out and eat, and they stay home. Usually, their night usually spills over to late Saturday. You got home late that Friday night, and noticed they weren't in the living room where the tv is. While you headed upstairs, you heard the faint sound of your friend grunting and your mom panting hard from her room. You didn't want to just barge in, so you texted your friend asking if they were ok. You heard the noises get louder and faster.. it sounded like they running a marathon. Your moms headboard was thumping against her wall, which you couldn't help but tap your foot to the rhythm of. You knew they were up, so why is it taking so long to text back? Then it got quiet, and you got a reply from your friend saying: 'Just getting comfortable.' You were relieved. 'ok' you responded, 'didn't mean to bother ya, good night bro :).' He didn't text back, the noises just started up again. You went into your room and lay down, drifting to sleep to the sounds of the headboard and their frequent outbursts. The next day, it was already past noon and you haven't seen any signs of your friend or mom. You texted him again, 'Hey, you guys ok?' He replied with a picture and a text. 'Yea man, just eating some leftover pizza upstairs, we'll be done in an hour or two..'

Even if she was exhausted, your mom loved sending post workout pics to all of her boyfriends. Her pics were so popular, it wasn't uncommon to see them surface online on various porn sites.

Your mom can never turn down a dare, so when your friends dared her to set this as her profile picture, she couldn't refuse. Now, she has almost a thousand new friends and lost her job. But it's ok, she makes more than enough selling selfies online and being a cam girl. You should know, it's your job to tell her what different poses they guys are requesting. You make $50 an hour, but it might not be worth it having to stare at guys jerking off looking at your undressing mom every day.

Your mom went on vacation with her new “guy friend” Mark, but forgot her phone at home with you. Instead she sent you updates from Mark’s phone. It got awkward once when Mark accidentally sent you a pic he took of her sitting on a sink. He apologized, saying he meant to send it to his friend.

One night, she sends you this pic.

mom: Hey! I need your opinion. Mark says this counts as pajamas and I say it doesn't. What do you think?

you: Well… I guess people usually sleep in their underwear… so yes.

mom: Really? good thing you told me. Mark came up with a fun little “no pjs” rule tonight. I just wanted to know if I had to take this off or not before crawling into bed with him. Looks like it’s a yes!

you: What?? I take it back, you can wear that!

mom: Too late honey, we’re already in bed. I have to put down my phone, something just popped up and I need to take care of it. xoxo