“Prongs?” Sirius Questions With A Mouthful Of Bacon, Scrunching Up His Nose In Confusion As James

*at some point in 1978*

sirius : i wanna do something illegal

remus : marry me

sirius : what?

remus : you heard me

marylily <3

by the wonderful @/likeafunerall on instagram (posted with permission)

beginner witch tings

m a s t e r p o s t 💫🔮🌙

wheel of the year/ sabbats (yule) (imbolc) (ostara) (beltane) (litha) (lammas) (mabon) (samhain) *

basics of sigil making (x) (x) (x)

intent/intention and why it’s so important

candles + color magick

beginner herbs and their correspondences 

book of shadows vs grimoire (how to begin)

grounding

beginner crystals and their correspondences

c l e a n s i n g (room) (crystals) 

random books i found (e-books) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

*i corrected the links

look at barty & evan. just—look at them

ac: likeafunerall

Inspired by the fic: “A Black Mass Over Highway Ninety” what honestly very quickly became one of my favorite fics by @greenvlvetcouch

listen I don’t even fuck with jegulus like that but I saw someone talk about how it’s unrealistic that all of the marauders are gay… bestie… everyone knows that if one person in the friend group is gay they all are

Barty is having the worst day of his entire miserable existence.

It's not enough that he had to catch Evan eating Regulus out last night (right before sucking the blood out of him, mind you), but of course the whole school had to start gossiping about his most recent date with Pandora, collectively deciding he was the scum of the earth for breaking little Reggie's heart.

Here's why: people have assumed, wrongly so, that him and Regulus have had... something... going on.

Which is wrong. And disgusting.

Regulus is like the most annoying brother anyone could ask for, with how sickeningly sweet he is. He's also a devil, too, but no one will ever believe that.

(Everyone thinks that Regulus and Barty fuck, and that Evan is the brotherly link in their friend group. There has never been anything brotherly about the way Evan has been staring at Regulus since they were sixteen and fifteen, but Barty is an only child, so what does he know)

This whole misunderstanding has worsened ever since Regulus and Evan started fucking. You'd think it'd go away, but no. Evan always feeds on Regulus when they fuck, which leaves their stupid best friend dizzy and tired and pale and weak for the next couple of days. Barty had suggested for them to maybe calm the fuck down, but his friends get easily carried away, so...

Usually, it's not that noticeable. Today? Today Regulus is too tired to even attempt a smile, or a conversation. Evan is extra doting to him because of it, the fucker, as he should be, and Barty? Barty is being glared at because well.

As far as anyone in their stupid school is concerned, he's been fucking Regulus in secret, though it's not so secret if the whole school likes to speculate on it, and he has suddenly gone on a bunch of dates with Pandora Lovegood, slept over at her dorm, and the next day? Regulus looked like he'd cried the night away.

Which he fucking did, by the way, just not how people think he did.

The worst part, and yes, there's something worse, is that Sirius fucking Black is shadowing him like a goddamn hound, ready to strike at any moment, and Barty knows that Regulus' older brother has a mean punch, so what is he supposed to do now? He can't out Regulus and Evan, because if he starts going off on that topic he won't be able to stop and he'll accidentally out Evan's vampirism.

He can't fucking do that, that's his best fucking friend.

Even his teachers are side eyeing him!

McGonagall made a not so veiled comment about it all, something about trust and shit that had everyone not so subtly glare at him.

And Regulus? He hadn't even noticed.

Barty can't even blame him, he looks so pale and sad, and he's sad because he had practice today but he won't be able to fly, which is criminal because the weather is just right and now Barty is for sure on the Quidditch team's shit list for keeping their best boy grounded.

He's so goddamn lucky that Emma Vanity is not in school anymore, let alone on the team. That viper would have had him by the throat the moment Regulus walked out of the dorm looking dejected and all sniffly.

Evan, on the other hand... Evan is aware. Evan is more than aware, and Evan is relishing in it all, since people are dubbing him the best friend to ever friend. He finds it funny, the cunt, and Barty hates himself for how loyal he is to that disgrace of a wizard, otherwise-

"I'll kill you," Barty had mouthed at him before hurrying out of their charms class, lest somebody cursed him.

Evan had smiled, all coy, and wrapped an arm around Regulus' shoulder, looking a protective bestie instead of the blood sucker he is. "Get a wooden stake, then." He'd responded, and Barty will get him. One day, he'll get him.

In order to get back at Evan, Barty has to survive the absolutely batshit encounter he's about to face. And he knows it's about to happen. See, it wasn't bad enough that Sirius Black was tailing him for most of the day, oh no... James Potter has suddenly joined him, and if eyes could kill...

Yeah, Barty is not having a good day, and it's only going to get worse. Hopefully his girlfriend will help make up for it, but chances are Barty will die before he sees her again.

(thank you @padfootastic for the brain assistance with this and giving me the headcanon that harry definitely calls Sirius by his proper title to annoy him)

--

"It's fine, Sirius," Harry said for the third time and Remus snorted behind his cup of coffee.

"You tripped getting into bed last night, Harry."

"I trip all the time!"

"Over clothes? That should be not on the floor?" Sirius pointed out and Harry rolled his eyes as he pushed back from his chair at the kitchen table. Lunch disrupted by a disagreement.

"I mean, sometimes. It's my space! You said it's my choice how it looks and everything, and I say its perfectly clean!"

Sirius sighed and looked at Remus for the slightest bit of assistance. Harry's door had been left open that morning and Sirius had happened to walk by, immediately wishing he hadn't. Wishing he was just oblivious to the disorder of his godson, and the pile of dishes on his nightstand. The curious case of the missing spoons had been solved in a single moment, glancing at the leaning tower of midnight ice cream bowls in Harry's room with accompanying utensils.

"I don't pretend to be the neatest person," Remus started, "But I do know that...you're verging on unsanitary territory."

"Am not! It's f--"

"It's not and this is finished. Dishes come down here, all of them, pick up your floor, laundry goes in the hamper or in your dresser. Got it?" Sirius told him firmly in a tone that didn't leave space for argument, Harry's eyebrows immediately knitting together, "When was the last time you wiped your bathroom counter?"

"...Do you want to know the answer to that or is this a rhetorical moment?" Harry asked, having the decency to look a little sheepish at the claim Sirius had made.

"I'm not expecting perfection, I'm just--"

"Yeah okay," Harry rolled his eyes, "Whatever you'd like your Highness. Your grace, Your majesty.."

"I'm serious," Sirius attempted to continue through mild annoyance, especially as his godson began bowing.

"No, no, don't be modest, you're Lord Black, of the House of Black, most Noble and Ancient, ruler of--" Remus snorted again, his mouth turning up at the corners.

"Knock it off, Harry, I'm asking for a little bit of effort here."

"Of course, Lord Black. I only live to serve, to appease you!" Harry responded with a bow, "I am banished to my quarters until they shine like the top of the Ministry Fountains!" Harry threw his hands into the air, flourishing them dramatically as he exited the kitchen. Sirius inhaled deeply and looked at his husband who was smirking still.

"Am I being unreasonable about this? He's going to have mold growing--"

Remus gasped, "Mold! Oh no! We can't have that in the Most Noble and--"

"Oh, fuck right off, Moons."

--

About an hour later, Sirius heard the door to his godson's room open, followed by the bang of a firecracker, and a horn sounding off. Sirius jumped flat off Remus's lap at the sound, Remus immediately moaning at an elbow that landed in his stomach.

"Watch where you put those things, baby," Remus muttered

"What--"

"LORD BLACK, I HAVE FINISHED CLEANING MY CHAMBERS AND IT IS AWAITING YOUR INSPECTION!"

"Can I punish him for being obnoxious? Is that forbidden?" Sirius asked Remus, "Can I give him extra chores just for annoying me? Or will that get my Worlds Greatest Godfather trophy revoked?"

"Revoked."

"Damn.

"AHEM--IT IS AWAITING INSPECTION FROM THE LORD, SO THAT ONE MIGHT BE ABLE TO ENJOY THEIR RUDDY SATURDAY WHILE THE SUN IS STILL OUT!"

Sirius shook his head, apparating up the stairs to meet Harry who was standing outside his bedroom door. Sirius immediately hooked an arm around his godson's shoulders, messing up his hair roughly.

"HEY, STOP IT, NO FAIR--"

"Plenty fair, maybe you should hit the weights more," Sirius released Harry from the hold, grinning as he looked around the much neater room. Harry had even made his bed.

"Is my room up to par, Lord Black?" Harry asked teasingly, "Shall I fix anything that isn't up to your standards? Post-haste?"

"Post-haste?"

"It means--"

"I know what it means, nutter," Sirius said nudging Harry with a small grin, "Thank you for cleaning, it looks much better."

"Anything to appease the Master of the House," Harry said with a cheeky smile back, though he let Sirius palm the back of his head without pulling away.

"I know...I can be a little paranoid about cleanliness," Sirius said, catching Harry's eyes, "And I hope I haven't made you feel like you need to...keep up to that standard. My standard because sometimes I'm not even clean enough for my standard. I don't want you to feel like that, yeah?"

"I was taking a piss, Sirius. My room was gross. I'm just stubborn."

"Mm. Thought so," Sirius said and kissed him on the side of the head, "Go enjoy the rest of your ruddy Saturday."

"I HAVE APPEASED LORD BLACK, MASTER LUPIN. I HAVE BEEN GIVEN PERMISSION TO SEE THE GREAT OUTDOORS FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE AFTERNOON, A JOYOUS DAY!" Harry shouted and Sirius cracked a smile, shoving Harry just hard enough to send him off balance.

this is accurate.

Regulus: How did Sirius react when you told him we are dating?

James: He was cool with it actually

Regulus: James?

James: He tried to bite me