Remus "You Were Never Mine, But I Was Always Yours" Lupin

RIP Black family. You would've loved Conan Gray.

wannabe rockstars

James: hey lils, would you be willing to help me with something?

Lily: it depends…probably not…

James: I’ll take that as a yes. You see, I heard from a little bird called Remus that you know French, he refused to teach me because apparently I’m too difficult but I thought maybe you could help.

Lily: oh sure, why?

James: …uhhh, well…you know how Sirius’ family are posh and fluent in French? I thought it would be nice if I…learnt something to make him feel…happy…and…understood??????

Lily: Sirius hates speaking French though, he hasn’t ever spoken French in the whole time we’ve known him?

James:

Lily:

James:

Lily: you want to impress Regulus Black don’t you?

James: ……maybe

At the Yule ball

*three of the marauders standing together, Sirius and Remus as each other’s date and James secretly waiting for his*

Regulus: *walks into the great hall in the Oscar’s outfit YALL know which one*

James: *wide eyed as he spots regulus* *gulping*

Sirius: what??

James:

Sirius: *spots regulus* *looks at James* *looks at regulus*

Sirius: Merlins bullocks! *marches over to regulus* hi Reggie!! You look dashing! Now tell me, Where are the rest of your clothes?

Regulus: can’t say the same about you, and it’s none of your business. Go back to your stupid friends. *regulus smiles and winks at James*

James: *blushing*

Sirius: *looks at james* *looks at regulus*

Remus: *sees the relization on sirius* oh shit si-

Sirius: WHAT? JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER! MY BABY BROTHER?! ARE YOU SERIOUS? Don’t answer that!

James: *runs*

Sirius: *rants in French* *runs after him*

"fuck you I am completely fine"

Proceeds to daydream about my favourite fictional character all day

*inhales* WOMEN

this year im taking care of myself

Barty is having the worst day of his entire miserable existence.

It's not enough that he had to catch Evan eating Regulus out last night (right before sucking the blood out of him, mind you), but of course the whole school had to start gossiping about his most recent date with Pandora, collectively deciding he was the scum of the earth for breaking little Reggie's heart.

Here's why: people have assumed, wrongly so, that him and Regulus have had... something... going on.

Which is wrong. And disgusting.

Regulus is like the most annoying brother anyone could ask for, with how sickeningly sweet he is. He's also a devil, too, but no one will ever believe that.

(Everyone thinks that Regulus and Barty fuck, and that Evan is the brotherly link in their friend group. There has never been anything brotherly about the way Evan has been staring at Regulus since they were sixteen and fifteen, but Barty is an only child, so what does he know)

This whole misunderstanding has worsened ever since Regulus and Evan started fucking. You'd think it'd go away, but no. Evan always feeds on Regulus when they fuck, which leaves their stupid best friend dizzy and tired and pale and weak for the next couple of days. Barty had suggested for them to maybe calm the fuck down, but his friends get easily carried away, so...

Usually, it's not that noticeable. Today? Today Regulus is too tired to even attempt a smile, or a conversation. Evan is extra doting to him because of it, the fucker, as he should be, and Barty? Barty is being glared at because well.

As far as anyone in their stupid school is concerned, he's been fucking Regulus in secret, though it's not so secret if the whole school likes to speculate on it, and he has suddenly gone on a bunch of dates with Pandora Lovegood, slept over at her dorm, and the next day? Regulus looked like he'd cried the night away.

Which he fucking did, by the way, just not how people think he did.

The worst part, and yes, there's something worse, is that Sirius fucking Black is shadowing him like a goddamn hound, ready to strike at any moment, and Barty knows that Regulus' older brother has a mean punch, so what is he supposed to do now? He can't out Regulus and Evan, because if he starts going off on that topic he won't be able to stop and he'll accidentally out Evan's vampirism.

He can't fucking do that, that's his best fucking friend.

Even his teachers are side eyeing him!

McGonagall made a not so veiled comment about it all, something about trust and shit that had everyone not so subtly glare at him.

And Regulus? He hadn't even noticed.

Barty can't even blame him, he looks so pale and sad, and he's sad because he had practice today but he won't be able to fly, which is criminal because the weather is just right and now Barty is for sure on the Quidditch team's shit list for keeping their best boy grounded.

He's so goddamn lucky that Emma Vanity is not in school anymore, let alone on the team. That viper would have had him by the throat the moment Regulus walked out of the dorm looking dejected and all sniffly.

Evan, on the other hand... Evan is aware. Evan is more than aware, and Evan is relishing in it all, since people are dubbing him the best friend to ever friend. He finds it funny, the cunt, and Barty hates himself for how loyal he is to that disgrace of a wizard, otherwise-

"I'll kill you," Barty had mouthed at him before hurrying out of their charms class, lest somebody cursed him.

Evan had smiled, all coy, and wrapped an arm around Regulus' shoulder, looking a protective bestie instead of the blood sucker he is. "Get a wooden stake, then." He'd responded, and Barty will get him. One day, he'll get him.

In order to get back at Evan, Barty has to survive the absolutely batshit encounter he's about to face. And he knows it's about to happen. See, it wasn't bad enough that Sirius Black was tailing him for most of the day, oh no... James Potter has suddenly joined him, and if eyes could kill...

Yeah, Barty is not having a good day, and it's only going to get worse. Hopefully his girlfriend will help make up for it, but chances are Barty will die before he sees her again.

bitches be like “this is my closest kin” and it’s fucking regulus black

James: HE'S BEAUTY

Sirius: HE'S GRACE

Peter: HE'LL FUCK UP YOUR FACE *if you look at sirius*

James, Sirius & Peter: OUR LEADER, OUR SAVIOR, OUR HERO...

Remus: *entering the room*

James, Sirius & Peter: REMUS JOHN LUPIN