College Au! Where Sirius Is A Pretty Model & Remus Can Only Be This Strong

sirius black is sitting on my shoulder convincing me to do things, thats why im like this

Regulus: How did Sirius react when you told him we are dating?

James: He was cool with it actually

Regulus: James?

James: He tried to bite me

everyone at hogwarts knows about harrys gay dads but some people hear about these two older gay men and for the first time in their lives feel seen. some people, like a certain fruity slytherin kid.

basically draco would have been much less of a twat if he had a positive gay influence in his life, or at the very least someone to tell him he doesnt have to listen to his dad

Regulus: my brother is a drama queen he won’t let us date-

James: leave that to me

*later*

James: *sneezes*

Sirius: Bless you

James: what?

Sirius: i said bless you

James running to Regulus: I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT- HE GAVE US HIS BLESSING

Regulus in disbelief: holy shit you actually did it

Sirius: wait what

James: would you still love me if I was a deer?

Reg, who one hundred percent has figured out theyre animagi: no

James: *starts sobbing*

Reg: I'd adore and fawn over you

James: ... *falling so much deeper in love*

Sirius: *slow clapping*

marauders stans fit into two categories:

1. top shaggers

2. astronomical virgins, like they’ve barely even made eye-contact with someone

bitches be like “this is my closest kin” and it’s fucking regulus black

Regulus: (sliding rings off and on his fingers idly)

Pandora: What are you doing?

Regulus: Starting a fight.

Pandora: How, exactly?

Regulus: I overheard James tell Remus that he likes my hands.

Pandora: Okay…

Regulus: (nods at Gryffindors and smirks) Just watch.

James: (staring & drooling) He’s killing me.

Sirius: (fuming) How, exactly?

Remus: More like trying to get you killed.

“remus lupin is the coolest marauder” i say into the mic

everyone claps. no backlash. its a fact.

Harry: you need to stop running away from your feelings.

Draco: what makes you think I’m running away.

Harry: you’re climbing out the window as we speak.

Draco, one foot out the window: okay fair, but so are you.

Harry, also one foot out the window: fuck.