Tell Me It’s Not True, I Dare You 👊🏻😢

James: babe, babe, do the thing

Regulus: *genuinely smiles*

James: *breathless* oh Merlin

Sirius Black about his brother. “He’s so annoying. He’s the favourite. Always a goody two shoes. Speaks five languages. It’s always Regulus this, Regulus that.” Then cut to- Regulus and Pandora in a shopping trolley that Pandora painted and covered in flowers, swearing like sailor in French, zooming down the moving staircases, while Evan and Barty raced them and the rest of the house cheering for who they thought would win. Cut to- Sirius Black, “he’s just so innocent and nice, never a disappointment, the deserving heir of the Blacks. Sometimes I think that he has never ever done anything with his life except please them, like there’s no other point for his existence.” Cut to- half of Slytherin house running to the dungeons smelling of champagne because both trolleys hit the celebration drinks stand and a teacher heard-

i’ll eat you whole, i love you so

RIP Black family. You would've loved Conan Gray.

Regulus: (sliding rings off and on his fingers idly)

Pandora: What are you doing?

Regulus: Starting a fight.

Pandora: How, exactly?

Regulus: I overheard James tell Remus that he likes my hands.

Pandora: Okay…

Regulus: (nods at Gryffindors and smirks) Just watch.

James: (staring & drooling) He’s killing me.

Sirius: (fuming) How, exactly?

Remus: More like trying to get you killed.

The Batman Recap:

Thinking about Remus telling Grant the story of Odysseus— neither of them realizing that Remus was Odysseus, Grant was Calypso and Sirius was Penelope and that no matter how much Calypso loved Odysseus, they were not meant to be together forever, for Odysseus’ heart belonged to Penelope.

Remus Lupin, wearing only a towel around his waist: Sirius, could you throw me that shirt?

Sirius Black, very much speaking to Remus’ abs: yeah, here you gay- I mean go, I said go-

James, mimicking a newscaster: Sirius Black had never wanted to be railed so bad in his life. More at six.

Spreading my Jegulily agenda

AU where Regulus hates James for taking Sirius’ attention (but is also kinda secretly in love with him) but James barely knows Regulus exists so Regulus tries to catch his attention get back at him by seducing the girl that James is madly in love with: the one and only Lily Evans.

And he maybe accidentally falls in love with her as well in the process…

bitches be like “this is my closest kin” and it’s fucking regulus black