Shoutout To The Funniest Tags In My Notifications

Did someone say: Jim with pink hair?

@vulcanhugsclub wrote Jim getting his hair dyed into their fic so here y’all go

reblog if you like star trek, or if you have lost the remaining shreds of control over your life and you are star trek and you’re shaped like the uss enterprise and star trek music plays every time you walk into a room, or if you are a tribble that can type

corporations trying to profit off of queer people by showing their support for only one month of the year is bad

and

it’s fun to watch conservatives get pissed that they can’t shop at target anymore because the big bad rainbows will corrupt their children :(

and

the existence of rainbow capitalism in the first place proves that society is now in a place where supporting queer people is the more profitable and thus more popular opinion and that means something

are all viewpoints that can absolutely coexist

Aggressive opinion: Juwgen Weitnyaw? UwU Stupid idiot mothewfucking Juwgen Weitnya >:3 god damm foow book cowwecting dust eating wat owd bastawd >:333 shithyead avwataw of da whowe, O_O biggest cwown :o3 in da ciwcus waughed out of town XD catboy mothewfucking Juwgen Weitnya ÒwÓ

*hits you with a broom* go on, shoo

Hotlinks to all Tables: A complete list of every trinket table for quicker access compared to scrolling through the entire blog or sifting through the archive. This also functions as the easiest link to reblog or save for reference purposes as it’s updated with each new table. Now with 112 full d100 loot tables, category specific rolling tables a working rollable Omni Loot Table.

—Note: The links sometimes don’t work on mobile devices or some apps. Try using a desktop or browser extensions if they aren’t working. 

-The Omni Loot Table: A loot meta-table that allows the user to roll randomly on the 112 tables this blog has collected. This grants a DM literally millions of unique trinkets, equipment and items that players can find to enrich their world and playing experience.

-All Unique Armors: Splint mail, studded leather and sturdy shields of all shapes, sizes and mysterious backgrounds. Distinctive armors that can serve as the basis for family heirlooms, legendary artifacts and magical or masterwork weapons.

-Unique Armors, 1

-Unique Armors, 2

-Masterwork Armor Bonuses: Over a dozen homebrew armor improvements, enhancements and modifications created though superior craftsmanship. These masterpieces though more powerful than ordinary armor would not be considered “magic” or “+1” objects. 

-All Unique Minor Magic Weapons: A collection of flavourful weapons of artifact level quality suitable for low level characters. Much like the Minor Weapon Enchantments that some of them draw inspiration from, they provide small bonuses and combat options that are restrained by limited uses, niche situations or come with risky drawbacks. 

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 1

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 2

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 3 

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 4

-Minor Weapon Enchantments: A collection of minor bonuses that are weaker than a standard +1 weapons, as they come with trade-offs, risks, prerequisites, limited uses or niche benefits. These enchantments provide feat-like bonuses, low level class abilities, modify damage types, provide short bursts of power or replicate the effects of low levels spells. Rollable Minor Weapon Enchantments Table. 

-Random Weapon + Random Minor Weapon Enchantment.

-Random Unique Weapon + Random Minor Weapon Enchantment.

-All Minor Magical Items: Semi useful magical objects (If not always useful to an adventurer) that have little to no drawbacks associated with their use and are perfect for low level characters.

-Minor Magic Items, 1    /   -Minor Magic Items, 2

-Minor Magic Items, 3    /   -Minor Magic Items, 4

-Minor Magic Items, 5

-All Unique Weapons: Blades, bludgeons and bows of all shapes, sizes and mysterious backgrounds. Distinctive weapons that can serve as the basis for family heirlooms, legendary artifacts and magical or masterwork weapons.

-Unique Weapons, 1   /   -Unique Weapons, 2

-Unique Weapons, 3   /    -Unique Weapons, 4

-Unique Weapons, 5   /    -Unique Weapons, 6

-Unique Weapons, 7   /   -Unique Weapons, 8

-Unique Weapons, 9   /   -Unique Weapons, 10 

-Unique Weapons, 11   /   -Unique Weapons, 12 

-Masterwork Weapon Bonuses: Over 20 homebrew weapon improvements, enhancements and modifications created though superior craftsmanship. These masterpieces though more powerful than ordinary weapons would not be considered “magic” or “+1” weapons. Compatible with Pathfinder, D&D 5e and other D20 systems. Rollable Masterwork Bonus Table

-Running the Numbers: On Balancing Homebrew Masterwork Weapon Bonuses

-Random Weapon + Random Masterwork Weapon Bonus.

-Random Unique Weapon + Random Masterwork Weapon Bonus.

-Wild Magic Surges: A collection of Wild Surge options for DMs and PCs who find the published tables limiting, repetitive or boring, three things wild magic by definition, should never be. Rollable Wild Magic Surge Table.

-All Sealed Glass Vials: Faulty potions, weak elixirs, alchemical supplies, spell components, ritual elements, enchanting materials, crafting ingredients and magically preserved biological samples.

-Sealed Glass Vials, 1   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 2

-Sealed Glass Vials, 3   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 4

-Sealed Glass Vials, 5   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 6

-Sealed Glass Vials, 7   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 8 

-Sealed Glass Vials, 9

-All Books: An eclectic library of dusty tomes, fictional textbooks, pocketbooks, paperbacks, hardcovers, booklets, leaflets and magical manuals.  

-Trinkets, Books, 1   /   -Trinkets, Books, 2 

-Trinkets, Books, 3   /   -Trinkets, Books, 4

-Trinkets, Books, 5   /    -Trinkets, Books, 6

-Trinkets, Books, 7   /    -Trinkets, Books, 8 

-Trinkets, Books, 9 

-All Rings: Enough rings and bands to wear three on every finger and toe while still having dozens to spare. These small circular pieces of gems, metal, wood or bone always add more to the story than the sum of their parts. 

-Trinkets, Rings, 1   /    -Trinkets, Rings, 2

-Trinkets, Rings, 3

-All Cloaks: A collection of unique descriptions of cloaks for DM’s to give to their players as magical or mundane loot and for players to use during character creation to help flesh out their personal style.

-Cloaks, 1

-All Necklaces: Pendants, amulets, lockets, chokers and other “Neck Slot” jewelry that grant an immediate glance into the bearer’s personality, wealth, rank or social class and often serves as an iconic part of that character’s look. While a locked metal torque can instantly mark the bearer a penniless slave and a string of lustrous pearls mark their owner a flauntingly wealthy noble, so can an adventurer’s necklace mark them as a creature to bestow quests upon.

-Trinkets, Necklaces, 1   /   -Trinkets, Necklaces, 2

-Trinkets, Necklaces, 3

-All Artifacts: Artist masterpieces, rare magics and opulent combinations of jewels and precious metals. These objects can be found in the throne rooms of kings, the demiplanes of archmages and the pinnacle of a dragon’s hoard.

-Trinkets, Artifacts, 1

-All Valuables: More useful than regular trinkets, these items have either a clear purpose, a reliable ability or are made from a fairly costly material.  

-Trinkets, Valuable, 1   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 2 

-Trinkets, Valuable, 3   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 4

-Trinkets, Valuable, 5   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 6

-Trinkets, Valuable, 7   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 8

-Trinkets, Valuable, 9   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 10

-All Trinkets: Interesting baubles or semi magical items that have little to no practical in game or mechanical use for an adventurer.

-Trinkets, First

-Trinkets, 1   /   -Trinkets, 2   /   -Trinkets, 3

-Trinkets, 4   /   -Trinkets, 5   /   -Trinkets, 6

-Trinkets, 7   /   -Trinkets, 8   /   -Trinkets, 9

-Trinkets, 10   /   -Trinkets, 11   /   -Trinkets, 12

-Trinkets, 13   /   -Trinkets, 14   /   -Trinkets, 15

-Trinkets, 16   /   -Trinkets, 17   /   -Trinkets, 18

-Trinkets, 19   /   -Trinkets, 20   /   -Trinkets, 21 

-Trinkets, 22   /   -Trinkets, 23   /   -Trinkets, 24

-Trinkets, 25   /   -Trinkets, 26   /   -Trinkets, 27 

-Trinkets, 28   /   -Trinkets, 29   /   -Trinkets, 30

-Trinkets, 31   /   -Trinkets, 32   /   -Trinkets, 33

-Trinkets, 34   /   -Trinkets, 35   /   -Trinkets, 36

-Trinkets, 37   /   -Trinkets, 38   /   -Trinkets, 39

-Trinkets, 40   /   -Trinkets, 41   /   -Trinkets, 42

-All Worthless Trinkets: Vaguely interesting garbage, vendor trash and junk loot. Not magical or mysterious like regular trinkets or worth anything more than a copper piece or two even if you could find someone to buy it in the first place.

-Trinkets, Worthless, 1   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 2 

-Trinkets, Worthless, 3   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 4

-Trinkets, Worthless, 5   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 6

-Trinkets, Worthless, 7   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 8

-Trinkets, Worthless, 9   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 10 

-All Mottos: Whether they’re called adages, maxims or creeds, these simple statements are essentially promises made to oneself, family, or institution. A character’s motto can be a goal in itself or a moral anchor that centers his life and guides his action. A mixed collection of real life and fictional mottos that can aid a DM to quickly expand the history of the campaign or to aid a PC in a richer character creation.

-Mottos, 1   /   -Mottos, 2   /   -Mottos, 3

-Mottos, 4   /   -Mottos, 5   /   -Mottos, 6

-Mottos, 7   /   -Mottos, 8   /   -Mottos, 9

-Mottos, 10   /   -Mottos, 11

-Battle Cries: Simplistic and bone chilling warcries, complex and inspiring calls to arms and primal wordless screams of rage that shakes the enemy down to their iron-shod boots. A collection of simple phrases, threats, insults and violent promises for creatures to yell before and during combat to add verbal spice to each attack.

-Battle Cries, 1   /   -Battle Cries, 2   /   -Battle Cries, 3

-Battle Cries, 4   /   -Battle Cries, 5  /   -Battle Cries, 6

-Battle Cries, 7

-All Reference Tables: When a trinket calls for a Random Weapon, Random Color or Random Godly Domain and you can’t think of one offhand, just go here and either roll a die or select one of your own choosing.

—Keep reading for all reference and resource tables.

Keep reading

i’d apologise for putting uk politics on your dash but i have to live here so who’s the real loser

Normalise or tell me to get a therapist over feeling:

An immense amount of guilt daily but not always acting on it because its a horrible motivator. I want to help and fix and heal but I feel stuck and that I can't and that I'm useless.

That this guilt eats me up every time I think about it. That I still don't look up and search what I can do. That I put me and my mother's future above others. That I choose to sit on money I know can help the homeless/refugees, choosing to save it so I can buy a house to secure my mother's retirement. Choosing to use money I inherited. Not money I earnt. I don't know how to live with myself.

Tfw your archivist is getting kidnapped for the sixth time that week but that’s none of ✨your✨ business

every day i am percieved™️