Salt-vinegar-blood - Salt_vinger_blood

And the award for pretending not to know exactly what he's doing goes to...

Every TOS episode I've seen in a nutshell ft. Kirk getting a shirt destroyed 10 minutes in

SPOCK: Can you give me warp eight?

SCOTT: Aye, sir. And maybe a wee bit more. I'll sit on the warp engines myself and nurse them.

SPOCK: That position, Mister Scott, would not only be unavailing but also undignified.

“These new Romulans. “Oh, Vulcans are the worst, and Vulcans ruin everything, and Vulcans try to take over your life.” It’s like, you know what, motherfucker? My First Officer is Vulcan. I know all of that. How do you know all of that?

I’m allowed to make fun of my First Officer. I asked him and he said yes. We’ve been working together for about three and a half years now and I signed up for the ship’s open mic night and, uh,–oh, thank you very much–and, uh, I love and respect my First Officer very much so I said to him, “Hey, we’ve been a command team for three and a half years” and he said, “We’ve been a command team for three years, seven months, eight days, fourteen hours and twenty-six minutes.” I said, “Do you mind if I make fun of you on stage?”

And my First Officer said, “Yes, I will permit you to perform humorous material about me on stage. But refrain from saying that I am a bitch and that you do not like me.” I was like, whoa, the bar is so much lower than I ever imagined. That’s it? Also, I wouldn’t say that. What kind of show would that even be? “Hello! My First Officer is a bitch and I don’t like him!” That’s like a support group for officers in crisis, with keynote speakers Admiral Marcus and Admiral Komack. Also I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my First Officer is a bitch and I don’t like him. That’s not true. My First Officer is a bitch and I like him so much. He is a dynamite six foot Vulcan bitch and he’s the best.

He and I have totally different styles. When my First Officer beams down to a planet, he does not give a shit what anyone thinks of him in any situation. He’s my hero. When I beam down to a planet, I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting. My First Officer said that beaming down with me is like beaming down with someone who’s running for mayor of nothing.

My First Officer and I went on a diplomatic mission. The negotiations weren’t going so well. I was afraid that the prime minister was gonna be mad at me, so we went to a banquet they were throwing. I’m talking to the prime minister with Spock–my First Officer’s name is Spock–he’s standing next to me. The prime minister introduces me to his daughter and he says, “Our planet would be proud to join the Federation if you would marry my daughter.” And I said, “I wish!” And then my First Officer said, “Illogical.” And fully walked away from me, walked all the way over to the drinks table and just stood there Blair Witch style. And I’m still talking to the prime minister and he goes, “Do you… Do you want to marry my daughter?” And I said, “No.” Even though I had just said it was my greatest wish in life. I was hoping that he believed me, that it was secretly my great wish and that I’m in an abusive secret relationship with Mister Illogical over here so I can’t ask for the things I want in public but on the ship at night we argue about it. And I’m like, “You’ll see! One day I’m gonna resign my commission and leave you and marry the prime minister’s daughter!” He’s like, “Illogical! You will never marry the prime minister’s daughter!”

My First Officer is Vulcan, as I said. I’m human. We have differences in our cultural upbringings and we realized this recently. Not with our kids, cause we don’t have any kids. People always ask us, “Are you gonna have kids?” And we say, “No.” And then they go, “Never? You’re never gonna have kids?” Look, I don’t know “never.” Seven years ago I got drunk and got into a fight with four guys the night before I signed up for Starfleet. Now I’m afraid to get a flu hypo. People change.”

(TMAGP 8 SPOILERS)

I JUST HAD A F*CK8NG REALISATION

So I saw a tag on a post about the newest episode about Gertrude saying "good luck hunting" and how she might have thought Celia and Sam were avatars. And I got hit by a realisation

TMA GERRY WAS TRAPPED IN A BOOK, AN OBJECT THAT GIVES KNOWLEDGE, in the HANDS OF HUNT AVATARS and whose only way to escape the misery of not being was death. An escape Jon gave him even if he lost knowledge

Did JON REACHED OUT HOPING TO FINALLY DIE ? DID HE HOPE THIS GERRY, EVEN IF HE WASNT TMA GERRY HE WOULD RETURN THE FAVOR ? THAT HE WOULD FREE HIM LIKE JON FREED GERRY ? THAT WITH THE PLACES REVERSED THE SAME THING WOULD HAPPEN ?

THE GODDAMN PARALLELS THAT MIGHT JUST BE ME OVERTHINKING BUT ZKXVZKNDZKFBKZOXKZOBX

Being British is having a BBQ in the rain because it's summer god dammit.

Did someone say: Jim with pink hair?

@vulcanhugsclub wrote Jim getting his hair dyed into their fic so here y’all go

It’s all full-circle with these smugass lizards :’V

I think the most frustrating thing about Pokémon Scarlet and Violet is that if the Pokémon Company actually allowed the devs plenty of time to refine graphics, test the game and patch glitches before release it could easily be one of the best Pokémon games out there. So far from what I’ve played, the story and writing is miles better than Sword and Shield, and the characters are so much more interesting and each given equal time in the spotlight. They already released Legends Arceus earlier this year and even though the graphics weren’t perfect the glitches were minimal and overall the game was fantastic, one of my all time favourites in fact. That game had more time to be perfected since BDSP was released in time for Black Friday/Christmas instead. If TPC actually gave a shit about their devs and the appearance of their games rather than the millions of dollars they rake in with every launch day then they would take one look at their game, think “wtf no that’s not done” and then delay it. Would fans cry? Yes, because Pokémon fans will never be happy. Would the game look better if it was delayed a couple of months? Probably. Breath of the Wild was delayed two years and went on to win game of the year, and it’s sequel is following suit because the company actually cares about their games. I’m not saying a Pokémon game will ever win game of the year but if even just a little bit of care was applied from the heads of TPC then maybe we’d finally get a mainline Pokémon game with nice graphics and a brilliant storyline.

reblog if you like star trek, or if you have lost the remaining shreds of control over your life and you are star trek and you’re shaped like the uss enterprise and star trek music plays every time you walk into a room, or if you are a tribble that can type