Flirting With Transfems Is So Hard Because (and I Say This With Love) We Are All Losers. If I'm Upfront,

I'm convinced this woman is possessed by the black mold growing in her house- she's going to be the first cordyceps zombie at this rate.

FREE THEM!! RELEASE THE LIL GUYS!!!!

don’t forget your pills!

babe, i don't know how to tell you this, but your profile picture has affected my view of you far more than anything you've ever said or done

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

i love poison omelette

When I was eleven I could lay in the shape of a low-poly ragdolled NPC who had been flung against the wall and I was fine, but now if I so much as shift position a little in the night I wake up with a painfully fucked up shoulder or back

elf yuri except one of them is high fantasy and the other is one of santa's

big ole comic about adult ADHD diagnosis + big feelings + making sure childhood me is okay

Fuck you, City of Ur!

If you're dumb enough to buy a cartload of copper this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to Ea-Nasir's Imported Metals!

Bad deals! Low grade copper! Thieves!

If you think you're gonna find a bargain at Ea-Nasir's, you can kiss my ass!

It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker you'll fall for this bullshit! Guaranteed!

If you find a better deal, shove it up your ugly ass! You heard us right, shove it up your ugly ass!

Bring your deposit, bring your sealed tablet, bring your messenger! We'll send him back!

That's right, we'll send your messenger back through enemy territory!Because at Ea-Nasir's, you're fucked six ways from Sunday!

Take a hike to Ea-Nasir's, home of challenge pissing! That's right, challenge pissing!

How does it work? If you can piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet, you get no down payment!

Don't wait, don't delay, don't fuck with us, or we'll turn you into a eunuch!

Only at Ea-Nasir's, the only merchant that tells you to fuck off!

Hurry up, asshole! This event ends the minute after you make a donation to the palace, and it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!

Go to hell! Ea-Nasir's Metals: Sumer's filthiest, and exclusive home of the meanest sons of bitches in Mesopotamia! Guaranteed!

Too bad he got nailed for it.